Anime/Manga: Death Note
Characters: L and Misa
Genre: Humor
~ I do not own death note or the characters
A/N: Hello everyone reading this! I have a good friend named Miguel and he's a genius like L, I sometimes find myself in awe at how he resembles a fictional character and cooked this up. One of the things that really bothers him is using the search engine, Google, as a verb and people who rely heavily on search engines. I use to tease him by purposefully using the "verb" googling or googled and this is a similar reaction... hope you enjoy it.
Googled it!
Blaring sirens had been going off all morning in the rather small apartment breaking the thin invisible string that held England's number one detective's nerve. He had been a gracious, however, unwilling host to the annoying model/ suspected second Kira for two months now, two! At first the arrangement was supposed to be temporary as in a week or two, however it was edging on nine weeks and still he couldn't prove she was the second Kira. He could take the model's stupid insistent whining and he could even take her childish nature, but messing up his tea and cake time was the last straw.
"Misa, what are you doing? It's four in the morning, turn off your damn alarm" L groaned as he was once again met with another ear shattering siren.
"Hold on, hold on grumpy pants" Misa Misa chirped as loud thumping echoed over the blaring atrocity that was her alarm.
Light had learned after the first time she had pulled this stunt that to get the appropriate amount if sleep he'd need extra strength ear plugs. As it was L was sitting up on the bed next to the teenager glaring at his screen in distaste. Light snoring and the gentle rising of the teenagers lean torso mocked the detective as the ever present alarm continued to ruin his tea time.
"Misa" L warned as he sent down the tea he had been nursing as he looked for anything he had missed on another case he had been working on. "I'm warning you now that if you don't turn that blasted alarm of I will personally torch it over a bonfire" he chomped down angrily on a strawberry trying to reign in his anger before letting all his pent up frustration exploded waking up the exhausted teenager next to him.
"Hang on, I almost caught it" she yelled over before she let out a loud whoop and turned off the stupid alarm and gently placed it back on her table top.
"Misa, a word" called a very unhappy L as he shook the teenager awake with unnecessary strength. He was unaware of how much force he had exhorted until a loud thump was followed by a pain filled moan. Looking over he saw the teenager was glaring at him pulling at the cuffs that had them linked in an attempt to return the favor. "Sorry about that Light, however, we need to move over to the living room.
Still sleep deprived and aching from the fall, the teenager spared a single glare before following the furious detective over to the plain spacious living room. The sun hadn't even risen and it showed as the pulled curtains revealed the dull Japanese sky with clouds pulled closely.
"Too early for this" Light grumbled tugging the chain that he regretted ever being put on him, the least the annoying detective could is give him his morning caffeine. He met with some strain, however a single glare had the ebony haired Englishman following him.
Pulling the plain white coffee mug from the cupboard Light realized mildly that he was still dressed in his pajamas which consisted of an oversized white tee-shirt and some boxers. It was something he hardly thought would be appropriate in front of the younger teen idol who was obsessed with him. Sipping on the piping hot caffeine ridden liquid Light suddenly didn't care, he felt a lot better now that his mind had settled on a single thought.
"Misa, why do you keep waking us up at these god awful hours? Aren't you always talking about needing your beauty sleep?" Light asked mildly as he thanked whoever was up above for Watari's wonderful consideration for setting the coffee machine's auto setting for three minutes before Misa's alarm.
"I know, I'm sorry guys for waking you up, but I googled a new morning routine. It's wonderful, even if Google led me to the most annoying alarm clock" Misa answered at the doorway holding a pack of new tea bags and a Ziploc bag filled with unknown substances.
"Googled is not a verb, Google is a search engine and thus you would say searched on Google. You do not use the search engine as a verb" L quipped. He poured himself a cup of piping hot tea wondering how he got stuck with such an ignorant and annoying person.
"Googled is a word, anyway I was googling a new morning routine and found this one where you use tea bags and his weird black stuff on your face. It's supposed to make your skin brighter and youthful ." Misa smiled brightly noticing the raven darken at her choice of words. Trying to have some fun the blonde strutted over to Light and latched onto his unchained wrist.
"Misa, it's too early, stop being so clingy." Light grimaced as his coffee sloshed dangerously in the cup as the blonde held her annoying grip on him.
"You know I recently googled why coffee is soo bad for you and it said that coffee is addictive. You know it can also cause heart problems and if you take it with other medications it'll cause liver damage" Misa smirked feeling really smart for once in the presence of the two geniuses in front of her. Running her perfectly manicured fingers through her beautifully artificially colored hair she turned to start making her own tea.
"While you make some interesting points, Misa, I believe your choice in search engine has limited you to only biased opinions on the internet. If you'd read any medical journals, you'd find that coffee has been found to be medically helpful. For instance, coffee has been found in many experiments to decrease stroke risks and delays Alzheimer's disease. That probably doesn't interest you, however, maybe this will, coffee is a laxative. You may want something to help you in that department." L grumbled out inwardly smirking at how the last comment had the model rustled. He could see the way he eyes twitched at the remark, however, payback was in order for annoying him.
"Maybe you should look into that with all the sugar you eat, you know I googled how much sugar you should have in a day, you eat four times that for breakfast. It's amazing how you're still alive" Misa countered removing the teabag from the boiling water and placing it on a plate with the black stuff.
"Because I would trust the person that depends on a search engine for all her knowledge" L scoffed drinking the last of his tea before placing the strawberry covered cup on the sink to be cleaned later. Just to spite the teen the elder detective briskly walked over to the fridge to rummage through the sugary expanse. Settling on the strawberry cake laced with shining white icing and candy pearls and more importantly tons of strawberries sticking out in every possible place. "What a wonderful breakfast" he sighed amusedly as the other teen placed a fork next to him.
"You should probably ease up on the cakes, L" Light took the seat adjacent to the sugar addict and took to reading the morning paper.
"Funny you should care about my health, I would think Kira couldn't wait until I fell over dead" L commented as he took a healthy forkful of the delicious sugar encased dessert. He chose to ignore the angry retort of 'I'm not Kira' to focus on the annoying blonde.
"What is your problem with Google anyway" she huffed as she sat across from them nursing her cup of tea and starting on a fruit salad. Placing a banana slice in her mouth she chew slowly meeting the detective's icy dark eyes.
"I don't have a problem with the search engine, I use it every so often, what I have a problem is your use of the search engine as a verb. I also have a problem with people who rely on the search engine as their sole source of knowledge" L replied before shoving another fork full of cake into his mouth, he wasn't entirely hungry at the moment, but he'd still eat it anyway just to prove his point.
"Googled"
"Stop that" L growled out annoyed.
"Googling"
"Enough, you sound ignorant" the raven tried to reign in his anger and annoyance as the blonde continued.
"I love googling things" Misa smirked as the usually mellow, emotionless detective showed the annoyance with the twitch in his eyes and the side of his lips.
"I warn you-"
"Goooooogled" Misa stretched out as she leaned towards the detective opening smirking in amusement.
"That is not a verb" L whined as he flapped his arms in frustration, he didn't care if he looked ridiculous. His annoyance has peeking as he saw the stupid expression on the blonde's face.
"Whatever you say L, I have to start my mask, but you should try googling more things. It's amazing what you'll find on the internet" A knowing expression on her face as she retreated from the room disposing her used cup and taking her mix of weird stuff into her room.
"What was that about?" Light asked finally taking his eyes off of the newspaper he'd been reading in order to block out the confrontation.
"How should I know? The girl has been tainted by the influences of the search engine, for all we know she was spouting out none sense" L covered as he finished his cake in silence.
'I hate Google'
Light watched the quiet detective and sighed, he was used to the minor explosions the detective made, but this was one of his biggest pet peeves. Wondering if the detective was going to be okay the teenager continued to read until the detective decided to get back to work. Later that day when Light tried to use Google he found the search engine blocked.
'Guess googling has been banned' Light thought in amusement as he typed in the next search engine on the list, bing.
"Let's see what madness will come now" Light sighed as the detective frown over his shoulder.
"Let's hope she's too preoccupied with the blocking of her favorite search engine to find a new one"
"Somehow I doubt it" Light braced himself for the next fight as he search what he needed. Finishing quickly he hoped to get some much needed sleep before the next fight started.
THE END.