Harry/Draco lemon
harry was walking down the corridor. he had to pee. he was almost lavatory,, when darco poops out from behind a stall. harry says "what the- leedle leeedle leetlawejklt" when draco rips off his pants. "what are you doing1?' "PUDDDINGGGG!" draco says then noms on herrys man junk, and harry instantly turns in to a big bottle of polyjuice potion. "HOLY HIPPOGRIFF" harry realizes that he is in mad love with daraco; he doent knuw what he was missing out on before;; eventually there was funy feelings in his special no no places, and he didn't know where he was naymore. dracoo says: "happy, i've always loved you nad i want nothing more than to get you pregnant!1' hary didn know what to say! he had alweys had special feelings whenever he saw melfoy, but he didnt kno what to hhink of them! what was he going to do?! "i don't know draco, yur phenis scares me." draco was ofended. "how dare you! my penis is the most gorgeous thing sence winky teh house elff!" harry didn't understand what was happening. i mean, he was such a nermal wizard before 5 minites a go! why did derco have to be such a weiner jacket/!? "but... i don't even like bois draceo! i mean sure you're fuckin god dam sexy as shet and all, but honestly.." draco considered this "i can convince you" and he gave herry a winky face. "follow me" and draco grapped harrys hand and led him out of the bafhroom (dreaco still has his pants down) and down the hall to the stairs that move like transformes. they go down to the slytherin dungeons, nad hrary finds out that draco has a room to himself. lucky ass bastert. anyweys they arrivedd at dercos wonderful abood and hurry gasped alowed. and then when he gasphed and he cramed into his panteluns and then dcerio tossed him onto the bed but hherry falls over on his patookie…
and ths reminded harry of a story…
Once upon a time there was a cat. And this cat was the most ordinary cat you could even think of. This cat's name was fluffy. He had a collar with a nametag and a bell, he had plenty of catnip toys, and he took hourly catnaps. This just wasn't enough for Fluffy, though. He wanted to get out and see the world. He wanted to meet other cats, and maybe have a few kittens. But he knew it would never happen. His owners were super strict on his outside time. He only gets 10 minutes every day, and even then he has to be supervised. It's bullshit, if you ask him.
But one day, when his owner was giving him a bath and she got soap in his eyes without apologizing, he knew it was the last straw. Without even thinking about it, Fluffy clawed her eyes out and left her to die from ice cream poisoning. The most deadly sickness in the world. Once he saw the coast was clear, he made a beeline towards the catflap. Surprisingly, it was open. Slightly suspicious, but it'll do for now. It almost seemed like when he jumped through that catflap, time switched itself to slow motion. No but really. Time actually went 75% slower than usual. What's up with that shit? Whatever. There are more important things to worry about right now. Like going to see that new Barbie movie that just came out. The word on the street says there's some pretty hot kittens in that. Not like, actual baby cats though. Cause that'd be gross. Flufy's not a pedocat. That'd be creepy, right? Pfft.
Once he jumped the back gate, he stopped to take it all in. He really did it. He made it out. Just as he was about to go chase some rats that were fighting over a piece of trash, something caught his eye. Was that… A poptart? Fluffy's seen poptarts before back at the house. He didn't really know why, since Mr. and Mrs. Bitchface didn't have any kids. And Fluffy was sure those were for kids. Anyway, just as he was about to poke it with his paw, it moved. And it wasn't just any old poptart. It was a poptart CAT. Like a legit cat. Attached to a poptart. Though it wasn't attached, the cat was the poptart and the poptart was the cat. 'What is going on?!' Fluffy thought to himself. This is way too weird. It's only his first day out, weird stuff like this shouldn't be happening to him. "Uh… You okay… Popcat?" He asked, with a hint of fear in his voice. What if it's evil? What if it wants to steal his stash of Zoo News?
dreeco and huerry yell out in your phoria "LEEDLE LEEDLE LEEDLE LEELDLEKTJAEWKLTJAWELTJ LHOLY JESUS CHRIST WHAT IS HAPPENING WHAT DOES THIS MEEEANNNN" drao floops down on the bed and sighs. "toeld you harry I could confince you! My peenus is gawjuss~" harry was asponished by dreraocs amazingly crazy mad skills and he couldn't brath frew is nose nemore. "bu dtraco I told you! I don' like boiz. I like vergayjey. Even tho… thar was very satesflyin—" heryy stopped short. He fet pains in his belli and he doesn' kno wat. "drracho… I have ains in my." "wa u mean? I didn' break u did I cus Im huje" harry shooked his hed "no is not in my buttox, is in my belly, I fink I felts a kick…" dracochs's face wen dramatic chipmunck!