Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars or any of its characters.

Han's POV

I did so much for them and it all went to shit.

I tried so hard.

I borrowed money in attempts to make more money. I wanted to be able to have a better life. I wanted to give the best to Leia and Ben. But it all came back and bit me on the ass.

I worked twice as hard to pay off those debts, which kept me away from them most of the time. And when I came back, I could tell I wasn't wanted there. Leia didn't want me there. She told me every time I'd come home. She would start yelling, which of course Ben hated. And then she made that one of her excuses for saying she didn't love me anymore.

So eventually I left for the last time.

And I never went back.

Until I got a call from her about Ben.

Our son. The only thing that could get me home—or to her—faster than it took Luke to blow up the Death Star.

"Leia?" I see turned away from me. When she turned to me, I saw the tears streaming down her face. I go over to her. I try to hug her, but she pulls away from me. "What happened?"

"Luke was teaching him. Along with the others." Leia says. "He killed them all. All those boys are gone."

"What?" I ask. Before I would have said Ben couldn't have done anything like that, but I have heard the stories. I've seen what's done when I used to come home. He got really violent. Especially when he's angry. I guess Leia was right about the guy Ben had been talking to lately. Well she always left me messages about it, but it was never a conversation. And I assumed it was fine. What's the worst that can happen?

I guess this is the worst thing that could've happened.

"I knew—I should have done something." Leia says. I could hear the guilt in her voice. "I knew—I knew I should have made sure Smoak never got near him."

"He would have found a way to him if you tried to stop him." I reply, putting my hands on her shoulders. It wasn't her fault. I wasn't going to let Leia blame herself.

"He's stubborn. Just like you." Leia replies. I guess I had that coming. "I just thought—I thought training with Luke would be good for him." Leia let her head hang, her eyes staring at the ground. I sigh. We had thought training with Luke would have helped. We knew there was Vader in him. But I guess training with Luke made it worse.

"How's Luke? What about his little girl? What's her name again?" I ask. I knew Luke had a daughter not too long ago. She was five, I think. I remember him blabbering about how strong she is. And how she'll be a great jedi eventually.

"Rey. And Luke left her on Jakku." Leia tells me.

"Jakku?" I question. He left his daughter there? That's just as bad as where he grew up. And who did he leave her with? There's no friends or family there? Why?

"She wasn't safe here. Luke knew he would go after her. He had to keep her safe." Leia says. But, really? Jakku? "And I don't know where Luke is."

"What do you mean you don't know where Luke is?"

"He's gone. All I know is what happened to his daughter. He left R2 here and everything. He's gone." Leia says and turns away from.

"Oh, what am I going to do?" I hear Leia say. I knew she wasn't talking to me or anyone else. She was talking to herself.

"Leia—" I try, but she pulls away from me.

"I'm sorry I called you—you should go." Leia says.

I knew why.

She couldn't stand to look at me.

All she could see is Ben.

I lost count of the years. I've been alone with Chewy. Nobody knows where Luke is and though I know there is a resistance trying to find him, they haven't found him. I don't know if they ever will. Luke went into hiding and I think he plans to stay there.

I hear Chewy call for me.

"What is it Chewy?" I ask and look at the scanner. Holy shit, we found the falcon! I've finally got it back. It was stolen from me years ago. It's taken me forever to find it. Chewy and I grab our guns and we go on board once we have it.

It seems no one is here.

But then there was a sound.

I found two—kids?

"Get out of there!" I say and they listen. Apparently they were the only ones on board. Great. Well, I guess I don't have to worry about these two.

Apparently they are with the resistance and need to get the droid they have there. I stopped in my tracks when they say that droid has a map that leads to Luke Skywalker.

Oh shit.

Leia's going to need this.

I called her and she came. Not before I got a glimpse of our son taking Rey. She walks out of the ship and stares at me.

"You changed your hair." Is all I managed to say.

"Same jacket." Leia replies.

"No new jacket." I reply. Though she was right; it was the same one.

We go inside and the droid BB-8 gives her the map, but it's only part of it. Great, so no map and now Ben has Rey. This day just keeps getting better and better.

"Leia." I pull her aside.

"I saw our son." I say. Leia looks away from me and tries to walk away, but I stop her. "And he took Rey."

"Look, what can I do?" I ask.

"You don't have to do anything—"

"Leia, don't look at me like that." I say. She was looking at me the same way she did when she told me to leave.

"You should go Han."

"No. I'm not leaving."

"You left before! What's stopping you now!?" She yells.

"I thought that's what you wanted." I say.

"I thought—All I could see when I looked at you was—"

"Him." I finish for Leia and she nods.

"All I could see was Ben—and I thought it would be better if you left but—I was wrong, okay? Is that what you wanted to hear?" Leia says. I nod. I wanted to come back so many times. I wanted to see her. But I couldn't. I thought she didn't want to see me. I thought it would just make it more difficult.

"I wouldn't have left if—you hadn't wanted me to." I say. "I wanted to come back to you so many times, but—" I can't even finish. The biggest mistake of my life was not being there for Leia and Ben. Maybe if I had been Ben would be here and the galaxy wouldn't be in this mess. But my other mistake was leaving Leia when she needed me the most.

"Han—"

"I'm not leaving you again." I say and pull Leia into my arms and kiss her on the lips. We take a breath and kiss again. It's been so long since I've had any sort of peace.

"I love you." I tell her.

"I know." Leia replies.

In Loving Memory of Carrie Fisher & Debbie Reynolds.

A/N: I know, it's probably not the best but I wanted to write something as I was saddened and shocked by the passing of both Carrie and now her mother. So I wrote this. Please leave me a review!