I Need You Now
Picture perfect memories
scattered all around the floor.
reaching for the phone,
cause I cant fight it anymore.
Sarah sat in her hotel room staring at the few objects on her bed, a picture, a charm bracelet, a pair of passports and train tickets, a flash drive, and finally her i-phone. She knew this had to be incredibly hard on Chuck. She had stayed and watched the surveillance until well past midnight, but she couldn't pull herself away. What Casey said just stuck with her, 'He's becoming a spy…this is good' and the only thing she could think of was 'is it?' Chuck had changed forever and it was even more obvious tonight. The innocent Chuck she knew was still inside, but much much deeper and every day he was starting to build walls like she had. When he finally understood what she had been expected to do to him she could see it was hard for him, but instead of fighting the point and demanding answers he dove in and did the very thing she was determined not to…he burned his asset and sent him to a bunker. Looking at the picture and charm bracelet she couldn't help but smile. In that picture they were so happy on one of their "cover" dates with the Awesome's. Ellie had insisted on a picture and when she saw it, it was perfect. They looked like…a real couple and the charm bracelet. That was one of her favorite memories with Chuck she had protested said it belonged to a real girlfriend and his answer still rang in her ears after everything that has happened between them she still hears him say 'I know'. She loved him, she could finally admit it and that led her to look at the passports and tickets. Those simple objects hurt her more than anything to look at. It showed her greatest fears coming true, rejection and heart break. He had broken down her defenses, chipped away at the stone walls until it was simply rubble where there used to be walls like Berlin. But , he ripped out her heart and stomped on it…but the flash drive. One of her most prized possessions. It told her the truth why Chuck stayed, why he did what he did, and his true feelings for her. He loved her…and she loved him, so what was stopping her? They were both agents even Beckman called him Agent Bartowski. So what was stopping her? Fear. That one word killed her, but in that moment she remembered the surveillance tape and seeing the tears start to fall. When she finally left he had tears streaming down his face as did she. Sarah picks up her phone and scrolls to his name and just stares at it. This is one of the biggest decisions of her life. Let her heart open again to the man who crushed it or forever live thinking what if…And i wonder if I ever cross your mind
for me it happens all the time
She presses call and hears it ring…
Its a quarter after one im all alone and I
need you now
said I wouldn't call
but I lost all control and I need you now,
and I dont know how I can do without
i just need you nowAnother shot of whiskey
cant stop looking at the door,
wishing you'd come sweeping
in the way you did beforeHe was not the same Chuck, he knew that Manush would haunt him forever…as would Sarah. He had given Manush a chance and after everything in the end he did what he had done in Prague chose the greater good of several over a single individual first Sarah now Manush and himself. He had broken her heart. The women he loved and would never get to have the relationship he wanted with and it was all his fault like he told Ellie 'I blew it…it's over and it's all my fault' and he has to live with that. He takes another long drink and fills up his glass again. This was only his third glass after chugging the second he had nursed the third pretty well. Sarah the one that got away…NO, the one HE pushed away and forever lost. He wants so badly to talk about it but when he tried and finally did, she wanted to leave. That is when he knew he blew it and would never have another chance. He thought Carina was right. Because she was right the first time she came. Bbut he knew she was wrong when Sarah asked for a reassignment and he would have to live with it forever. He had lost her and it was all his fault and his alone. He would have to forever remember that train station, that kiss and the look on her face when he walked away. He would forever think what if… he took a long drink and looked at another picture of her on his phone and more tears came.
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind,
for me it happens all the time
And then his phone rang and her picture popped up.Its a quarter after one im a little drunk and I
need you now
said I wouldnt call
but I lost all control and I need you now.
and I dont know how I can do without
I just need you now...
The phone rang for a second time and she nearly lost her nerve. Then she heard "hello?" it sounded sad, ashamed, longing, timid, and like he was drinking. And it took all her strength not to hang up right then and there. "Hi" she said and then the next five words spilled out of her mouth "Can I come over?" She could hear the slightest smile in his voice when he answered "Of course." She hung up and texted Casey three simple words 'bugs off please' she got an answer once she closed the door to the Porsche, charm bracelet and flash drive in her pocket. 'Ok' was all he said and all she needed.
She was coming to his place and he was a mess. But at this point he didn't care. He sat at the table anxiously waiting and silently crying, every once in a while taking a long pull of his scotch until he heard KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK.
wooh oo wooh oh
He slowly got up and steadied himself and hobbled over to the door. Usually when he had had this amount to drink he felt great, buzzed but not tonight he was just too…miserable. He opened the door, tripped a little. She steadied him by grabbing his arms and he was amazed at the effect of this small innocent touch could have on him. She led him over to the couch and they started to talk.
Yes I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all
She knew what she had to do and if it broke her heart forever at least she would know the answer so she began to talk.
Its a quarter after one im all alone and I
need you now
"Chuck when you asked me why it was hard for me to have you as an asset the answer is…" She looked at him and he looked like this could either bring him to life or kill him. She swallowed the giant lump in her throat and continued. "…the reason is because Chuck I'm in love with you and I needed you to know when you left in Prague I thought…I thought you didn't love me, didn't care but then I saw this…" she pulls out the flash drive. "It's the surveillance from when you were in the vault the explanation and I just wanted to say…thank you, I needed to know and I love you too and if it isn't to late I want this I want to try. You're an agent now, it is different and if you want to try if it isn't too late, I want to have a real relationship with you. Chuck…the man I now and will forever love." She looked at him and waited for his response.
and I said I wouldn't call
but im a little drunk and I need you now
All he could do was smile at her. "Really…Sarah I'm so sorry. I made a mistake in Prague. I just, I was scared I didn't think. I was trying to do the right but I don't know. All I know is I love you and if you'll have me I want this, too. I want to be with you for real…forever." He grabbed her hand and continued "I want to be able to talk to you and cry on your shoulder with you helping me get through it when I have a mission like this. I want to be able to smile at you when I know we've done a great job and really done something to bust the bad guys. But most of all, I want to be able to hug and kiss and be with you after a long day and just tell you something funny that Morgan did at the Buy More. And I want to be able to do the same for you after all those things. I want you body, soul, and mind. And if you'll let me, I want to be yours body, soul, and mind as well…because Sarah I already am and will forever be yours." She squeezed his hand with the biggest smile on her face before pulling the charm bracelet out of her pocket and putting it on her wrist.
and I dont know how I can do without
I just need you now
She pulled him to her and cupped his face and kissed him. It was a long, loving, gentle kiss. A promise for a future, and for bridges to be rebuilt instead of walls. It was a kiss of a tomorrow together and never again apart. It was their first truly real kiss. And when they pulled away and placed their foreheads to one another, looked deep into each other's eyes. Sarah stood up and pulled Chuck up with her and hugged him tightly and cried into his chest. Tears of joy for them and to let all the emotion she has been living with out. He held her and rubbed her back while tears ran down his face as well and he simply repeated five words over and over until they were both composed enough to look at each other again "I love you Sarah, forever" she looked at him and said to him "I love you too Chuck, forever" they smiled at one another and shared another long kiss.
I just need you now
The next morning Sarah woke up with Chuck's strong arms wrapped around her protectively and she smiled a true genuine smile and texted her best friend two words before going back to sleep in the arms of the man she loved dreaming of their future together. Thank you.
In St. Tropez Carina looked at her phone and smiled…in Burbank Casey looked outside his window at the Porsche and smiled…all four spies had the same thought. Finally.
oh baby I need you now