By: FiendisHSerapH
"Departure is most heart-wrenching when it leaves one bereft of what he should say."
"Today," Kakashi-sensei emphasized, "Today by noon."
I didn't notice
But I didn't care.
Perhpas Naruto is already screaming his lungs out due to sheer joy deep inside, but me? No. I don't and I couldn't even force a single smile to slice through my lips. Everything is so sudden, so fast in arrival, so... untrue. Earlier, I still can recall, we're just having some fun time in Ichiraku eating ramen and buta maki... and the next thing now is he's already leaving for a distant land.
And upon this departure, I can't mask that I don't care or I stopped caring anymore.
I tried being honest,
But that led me nowhere.
Many times I have tried, many times I have stood against your cold demeanor just to give a few percent of my concern, yet you shun me away like I am no one to be aware of. I don't know why but every step I take to you seems to be a fatal mistake, and I just end up being the one doing wrong. I've tried so hard to stand it but inside I can't just take it like that. I feel so... cheated, so lost.
I watched the station
Saw the bus pulling through
And I don't mind saying
A part of me left with you.
I shouldn't hide behind this denial anymore...
"But Kakashi-sensei, he could leave tomorrow since the assassination is planned that very day as we have heard." I voiced out, trying to mask the great level of anxiety in it.
"Of course, they could attack earlier than we expected. You see, those bad guys form such a rotten bunch." Naruto sliced through. I don't know if he's just way too happy to hear our team mate leave, but good to know he still can think logically. As for me, I can't though I want to.
"He should set foot there earlier to safeguard the welfare of the people in that upcoming conference." Our sensei added. True there's no more way to abort this process. He accepted it with all his heart in high hopes of haunting his slayer of happiness down, and no one should go against it. Not even Naruto can do it...
... but I can. I will. I'll try.
Because this six-year departure will mean eternal gloom for me, a hapless girl who's downright head over heels on him.
What's more, I couldn't let this event pass without him knowing what's inside this mind of mine all these years.
"Sakura-chan, where are you going?" That loudmouth hollered at me but I won't turn back. I have my own mission to accomplish now.
Did I make you nervous?
Did I ask for too much?
All I want to gain is even a little amount of appreciation form you for all the things I've been trying to do. I just wanted you to notice me. Yo've been living in the darkness of your soul as I have perceived, especially upon that harsh childhood that you've had. I don't want you to be like that, for I see a light in the depths of you, a light that you'll become even a better person upon letting that darkness go... a light of a better and improved being. But no, never listen to me. You just won't let me help you out. I am here lending a hand to pull out of that hole but just can't get it. What is it with me that you hated?
What's with you?!
Just a little notice, just a little appreciation...
Is it too much to ask?
Even more than this mission that's bound six years to last?
That's my frequent and constant question.
I found myself entering a dark room. It's the cottage our team had been staying in this dim forest which had turned even dimmer upon the knowledge of your farewell. My instinct dictated me to enter the room to find what I wanted...
Indeed I found it, sitting at the darkest corner that's as dark as those fringes that added charm to his mystique.
Twenty minutes before twelve...
Pools of void looked up and settled on my form blocking the light. Perhaps it seemed to him that I've been blocking his light... his light to move on. I am an obstacle, and nothing else important to him.
Was I not deserving one second of your touch?
"What are you doing here?" the voice that had always made my goosebumps rise asked, but this time lacking in spirit and determination. I presume he's also sad upon leaving this place, this team, although not assumably me.
"I... I just made some bento for you..." I took courageous steps forward, reaching out to him as I have been doing obliviously ever since. I was a few meters but the next moment I blinked my eyes, the petite box simply flew off my hands and to the floor, spilling everything arranged neatly in it.
"And you have the nerve to treat this like my vacation?!" the guy angrily fumed through gritted teeth, eyes more likely to go red any minute then. His form was a mixture of anger and exhaustion, probably due to thinking of future possibilities in life with that important mission on his hands.
"Sa... sa....suke..." I stammered about, more likely to cry because another trial was doomed to fail.
"If that's the only reason why you came here, then better leave me now. I need time alone."
You have been alone all your life! What kind of alone is that you want now?
Ten minutes to go...
What would you do if I could have you?
Oh, if I could...
I want to speak my word of protest but I snapped my mouth shut, afraid to cause more anger in his part.
"I'm leaving..." he declared flatly as he stood up and picked up his backpack that housed everything he's provided with for six years.
Six years is such a long time for me to wait, but perhaps I could make it now.
"Get out of my way." he mumbled as he got right in front of me asking me, an obstacle, to leave... but I still didn't budge. Leave you? No way... I won't, though how hard you've been trying to push me away. Because I...
I'd let you feel everything I'm thinking
Wouldn't that be nice?
"Sasuke-kun!" In one move, I threw myself on him, one more bold move that I am sure will fail sooner or later, but I am happy to be there in this unwelcoming arms.
Wouldn't that be nice?
I can't pretend that I don't care, or pretend I stopped caring.
This perhaps will be the last I'll see of him in this form. Six years later we might meet, but who knows how, when, where... most of all if hell recognize me of vice-versa. But I'll be waiting. My anxiety overflowed and escaped me through that crystalline liquid flowing down my eyes. My hold tightened, never letting him go because he's my life. Thoguh my wait will be a long one, I am glad I've said a part of my feelings now. Not everyone can do that.
Waiting to find my way back to you
Cause that's where I'm home...
After my release, he didn't look at me. He never looked at me straight anyway, though I can see it in his eyes... his watery eyes. I felt for my forehead and my hair and realized that it's all so damp. I turned back to his departing for walking away from the cottage under the heat of the midday sun, but he never looked back.
"But I presume he will someday... one of these days, and by that time, I'll be way more courageous to tell him more of what I feel for him."
- END -
MEANINGS:
buta maki - pork curry.
bento - If you've watched anime series, perhaps you've noticed those neat boxes that serve as lunch for most school guys and gals. Usually, it's a box with smaller divisions inside that contain certain finger foods like sushi, wasabi and the like.
SHORT RAMBLING:
I CAN'T BELIEVE MYSELF-! I've written a SasuSaku fic when I, for one, am against them! This was written two-three months ago, but posted only now because my draft is lost. Song used is "One of These Days" by Michelle Branch. Quite AU because it didn't happen in the series' timeline. More ramblings on my fic blog, but anyway, please take time to pass a review to let me know what you think of this creation. NO FLAMES PLEASE! Thanks.