Hi! This is basically a redo of "Not even Amara had captivated him like this" because looking back, I feel that there's a lot to improve on, and that my characters weren't very accurate. This story will have more of a slow burn kilas romance and be based on more tvd storylines. I'm really sorry if you enjoyed my previous version, it will be replaced, because my computer won't let me invent new stories on the website at the moment. Thank you for all the reviews, favourites and follows. They inspired me to keep writing :-) I hope you enjoy this new story!

Disclaimer: I don't own TVD or it's characters, they belong to Julie Plec and L.J Smith, I'm using the characters and some storylines for my own creative purposes. No copyright infringement is intended.

Endarkened Loneliness

PROLOGUE:

It was a Tuesday night when he died.

The hint of dawn approaching, touching the sky with a hint of colour against darkness. Such a mundane, kind of normal thing to say, but the circumstances said otherwise.

Buildings lay shattered into pieces, fire erupting from their depths. It could be seen even from where they were standing, on a hill in a forest, surrounded by trees. The smoke and screams could be detected miles away. The explosion had destroyed the travellers like intended, the plan had worked well that far, everyone was breathing again. Those who had died in the battle for Mystic Falls now had a second chance at life. Well, almost everyone.

He laughed bitterly at the irony of it all; how for two thousand years all he had wanted was to die when he couldn't, and when the opportunity finally occurred, it had become his worst nightmare.

All because of the girl sitting right in front of him on the floor.

Her face was puffy from crying; tears streamed down her face leaving streaks of mascara behind, as she huddled against the wall in a ball. Her sobbing cut through him like a knife; he burned inside knowing that she was crying for him, and he couldn't do anything about it.

She sniffled and looked up, eyes scouring desperately around her. Twice her eyes passed over him, and it felt like stones sinking down in his stomach.

"W-why?" She whispered, before her face crumpled again. He took another step closer and knelt down in front of her, trying to alleviate her pain, but what could he do? He was now a spirit, essentially useless, an empty void, and she wouldn't see or hear him trying to comfort her.

"Why did you leave me?" Her voice cracked, and he smiled sadly at her.

"I didn't have a choice, sweetheart." Silas muttered, though he knew she couldn't hear him. "I didn't want to."

"You shouldn't have done it. You knew what would happen and I told you not to and you did it anyway. You lied to me."

He swallowed the guilty lump lodged in his throat, before reaching out and touching her hand. A useless, meaningless gesture, but she jerked as though electrocuted and stared at her hand as though it were her lifeline.

"I'd say I'm sorry," he whispered, running his thumb over her knuckle. "But you can't hear me, and I can't tell you how sorry I am for leaving you, so there's no point. But I'm not sorry you're still alive, even if it is without me."

She sniffled, but remained still, eyes fixated on her hand that he grasped.

"I love you, Silas," she cried, tears slipping down her face. "I'm so sorry that I never said it."

He smiled again, though this time it wasn't out of sadness. Those were the words he had wanted to hear from her for so long, that he could almost forget that she wouldn't be able to hear him say it back.

A cold breeze swept through the forest, icing him to his bones. He shivered as it blew past him, but she didn't flinch. Only he could feel it. Which meant he didn't have much time left. There was only one thing left to do.

Reaching past her with his free hand, Silas slid his hand into her back pocket, removing her phone. She jumped silently and stared at it, mouth open in shock as he typed in her password he had long since committed to memory and brought up a new text box. There, he quickly typed out his message, pouring out everything he wanted to say to her, that he would never get the chance to say, and then placed the phone in her lap. Her eyes brimmed over with fresh tears again as she read it, and he stood up, letting go of her hand as he prepared to say goodbye. She felt the instant loss of his hand against hers, and looked up again.

"Don't go! I love you, Silas, please don't go!" She suddenly yelled hysterically, panic in her eyes.

"And I love you, Katherine Pierce. But you already know that." He whispered, willing himself not to cry, before bending down and kissing her forehead. Then, he turned around and walked away, every step feeling heavier and heavier the further away he got from her, and the more shrill her cries for him became.

Bonnie, the only person who could see him, looked at him with something close to pity and sympathy in her eyes. He wasn't surprised. He wasn't the only one dying tonight.

"Bonnie! Bonnie!" Jeremy's cries split the air as he came ever closer, another manipulated and decieved in the name of love, mingled with Elena's hysterical cries of despair for Damon and Katherine's sobs. The sound of mourning and death.

They couldn't see them anymore. Jeremy, Matt, Alaric, Elena, Stefan, Caroline, Tyler, Nadia. Katherine. They stood there, doning masks of shock and grief on their faces as they frantically searched for people who were already gone.

The wind was picking up more strongly now; it crackled and whipped at his clothes and Bonnie's hair. Bright lights were exploding into his vision; a reminder that his time was near. And he had never felt more scared or alone.

Damon came running up to them, squinting into the bright lights and fighting the wind threatening to blow them away.

"This place is going down, isn't it?" Damon said, as the earth began to tremor.

"It is." Bonnie said.

"And," she looked at the both of them. "I'm sure there are about a million people we'd all rather be with right now, but..." She reached out and took Damon's hand.

"A couple of thousand at most." Damon joked, managing a small smirk, though the fear still shone in his eyes.

Silas smiled hesitantly. "I know this should have been said a long time ago, and it won't make up for anything, but I'm sorry I killed your dad. Really I am." If he was dying, might as well try and find peace like he intended to, right?

Bonnie smiled a little, then reached out her other hand towards him. "It doesn't, but thank you."

Silas took it, holding on for dear life as the earth began violently vibrating out of control, dizzying and dangerous. He thought of Katherine, and more than anything wished he could be with her instead right now. They'd gone down such a long and dark journey it seemed hard to believe it was ending now, and he felt like laughing at the insanity of it all.

"Do you think it will hurt?" Bonnie asked. The steeliness in her tone didn't quite cover up her fear. It was something he honestly didn't even want to think about, so he focused on Katherine, the hope of seeing her again, her face, smirking and devious in his mind, was the last thought he had.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Damon shrug. "I don't kno-"

And then there was nothing.

I hope you enjoyed this new version. Please let me know what you think. I'm so sorry this took so long to upload, writer's block, exams, etc. but the next chapter should be up soon. Thank you for being so patient. :-)