A/N: The idea of this made me laugh a little bit :) Basically, Craig has Tweek's symptoms, like his twitching and paranoia, instead of Tweek. I think that's the only change I've made in them, really.

Kyle's Mission and Life As We Know It will be updated tomorrow if I get 2 more reviews on both, merci!

Craig clenched his hands as he walked down the hallway, his thumbs extending to lay on the top of his fingers. He bit down on his lip as he heard the first sign of human activity. They could not have been humans though, he figured. Maybe they were all spies, or underwear gnomes, like his neighbour, Kyle, had suggested. Well, Kyle hadn't actually suggested, so much as agreed, albeit a bit hesitantly and said with the twitch of a freckled cheek. Kyle was always applying logic to situations, and so Craig trusted him, just as he did all clever and responsible people. The kids here… they definitely weren't going to be clever or responsible.

He wished Kyle could come to this new place with him, but Kyle was way up in High School, so Craig was going to be all alone. He liked it like that. In fact, he had spent most of his life by himself in his room, never having any friends, save for Kyle, and, occasionally, his boyfriend Stan, come over. He lived in a solitary, isolated setting, his time being spent caring for his Guinea pig, Stripe, and watching the little toddlers playing outside, pondering over what it would be like to laugh and bounce about like them. He thought their names were Clyde and Leo, but he had no certain way of telling, of course.

So, Craig really did not have much experience in the social department. He doubted he would ever develop the skills needed to fit in. He felt, no, knew, that many refrained from as little as looking at him due to his irrational theories, and his minute body convulsions. His parents blamed it all on ADD, but he knew that Parker, Kyle's dog, was secretly a disguised government representive who sent him subliminal messages every now and then just to make him freak out…

Something like that.

He dared casting his eyes up from the polished, wooden floor to gaze at the pack of boys turning the corner. His hands shook and he gulped. Would they talk to him? He pulled on his blue chullo anxiously, standing rigid in the middle of the corridor. He felt their stare beating at him, and found it hard to breathe. They sauntered up to him, whispering amongst themselves all the way.

"Hi. Are you the new boy?" The most youthful one asked, and Craig cringed. He hated beautiful people. They were too perfect; it made him feel insecure. The pretty one in question was the asker, seemingly the leader of the group. He had straight, floppy blonde hair that blew over his green eyes, a button nose, a permanently pouting set of lips and a small frame. Craig didn't know how he pulled it all off with a somewhat boyish style.

Craig realised he was yet to answer the question, and blushed as he noticed he had stared at the blonde for way too long. "Y-yes. My name is – mmp! – Craig!" He stuttered, desperately wanting to pull at his dark strands. The gang seemed slightly taken aback at his outburst, but the flawless boy simply giggled, hiding his mouth with a delicate, pale hand. Craig was shocked at how pale he was.

Good god, was he a vampire?!

Craig tried to calm his thoughts as another one piped up. "It's nice to meet you. My name is Token." Token outstretched a dark hand and Craig shook it gingerly, eyes flitting over them all. They took this as an invitation to all introduce themselves, accompanied with awkward actions.

"Kevin." Smiled.

"J-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-jimmy!" Grinned.

"Thomas." Bit nails.

"I'm Tweek." Craig smiled at the odd name, and getting to know someone better. Already, he thought he could see Tweek as a friend, even if he was a beautiful vampire.

"Well, we have to – SHIT!- go…" Thomas muttered awkwardly, blushing as he involuntarily swore. Craig jerked his head up and down gently as the three of them left, leaving only Craig and Tweek.

"We should be friends." Tweek enthused, adjusting the bag slung on his shoulder. Craig's eyes widened and his lips quirked again. All of a sudden, he was encased in warm arms, and he was filled with love.

"Welcome to South Park!" Then Tweek ran off, unknowing of the heart he just broke.

Maybe school wouldn't be so bad…

Meep, I love Craig as an uke! But I think Craig could still be a potential top in this universe, but Tweek will be in for a shaky ride! Oh dear, what is life.

You know what to do, Houston.