Stay by my side
Chapter 1My name is will. I'm in my 3rd grade in high school. My story in a few words: I'm openly gay since my 14th birthday. Before that I had a lot of friends, I was popular and I had my childhood best friend called Sonny. When I came out he started getting away from me he pushed me away and he also started bullying me. He called me fag, and he always shouted out disgusting jokes about my sexuality. Then I met James. He was so kind and supporting since the first time, and slowly we got together somehow. He was always on my side, and he protected me from those bullies. Sonny stopped to make joke of me, but he didn't talked to me anyway. I know it's strange but I loved the way how he said: oh here is our little fag! Come baby, suck me off! This wasn't so proper, but I didn't get it as an offense. At least he talked to me. And believe me I would love to suck him off. I had a crush on him. I had serious feelings for him. I might say I loved him in some ways. I always have, since kindergarten, since I first met him. So I was with James when I was in my 3rd year in high school. He was 21, and I was 16 almost 17. I didn't love him but he defended me and I cared about him as well. One day I walked into the school yard and I saw him walking towards me angrily.
– You are such an asshole, you know? – I froze.
– What? What are you talking about? – I asked him.
– You okay? I tried to wrap my arms around him, but he pushed me away.
– Don't... Don't touch me! You are disgusting... I thought I knew you. I trusted you! And maybe I used to know you. But as I see not anymore – he tried to walk away.
– Explain me this
– What did you told those jerks about me? I thought I can trust you! I told you that I have that problem with my sister, because I loved you, Will! In this point I have nothing else to say to you. Not a single word. Never again.
– Wait, Jimmie, please I do not have any idea, what the hell happened! Please tell me...
– Oh, okay. I always knew that you had your little crush on Sonny. But I never expected that you tell his followers about my own life and secrets. They started to make fun of my family. And I didn't tell anybody that my sister has autism, but YOU! How could you do that to me? – and he started running away from me with tears forming in the corner of his eyes.
– What? Jay, I didn't... I DIDN'T TELL IT ANYONE! – I shouted over him but he couldn't hear me. Tears started running down on my cheeks, and I ran to the building, to avoid people seeing me like this. I knew that there was no way of James forgiving me, because he was so stubborn when it comes to his family. It's kinda cute but now I lost him by doing nothing wrong. I sat down to the ground in the aisle, and cried my eyes out. I had a free lesson, so I could cry without hanging of the lesson. I just wanted to be there alone and find out what to do next but something happened.
– Oh my fucking god... – I heard the bored voice in front of me. I looked up, and I saw Sonny standing right before me. I waited for him, to make fun of me crying alone here but instead of that he just sat down next to me.
– What the hell are you doing here? – he asked me. – Stop crying, be a man, and tell me what the fuck happened to you. You lost your mascara?
– Asshole. Are you here to bitch me, or what?
– Stop avoiding it and tell me what's up?
– What do you even want here? You have nothing to do with me. I hate you; you hate me, why don't we let things go on like this?
– Because you are fucking crying here, and that bothers me.
– Oh, I'm so sorry for annoying you with being broken, won't happen again around you! Don't you have better things to do, like lesson, or something? I knew he had lesson. I knew his whole time table.
– I do have, but I'm still here, as you see, and I got no answers to my question just yet. I'm not going anywhere, fag!
– Fuck yourself, Sonny.
– Believe me, I would if I could. And I've tried, but it was kinda impossible.
I couldn't help but smile on this jerk.
– Finally. Now tell me, what's wrong with you today. I let out a deep sigh.
– James just broke up with me for no reason.
I expected at least a joke or a laugh but nothing. Silence. Weird silence. I looked up at him and I noticed that he was staring at me in a scary and freaking way.
– What? – I frowned. He acted strange.
– I'm just... I mean...
– What the hell is wrong with you?
– I'm just kinda surprised. That's all.
– Why would you be surprised?
– I just am, okay? Just put this away – and he smiled at me.
– Well you can cheer on my sadness now and leave me alone later please.
– You know I am really cheering now. I really am satisfied.
– You are such a jackass! Fucking asshole! I don't even know why I told you that. Happy with my sadness, well thanks!
– I am happy now. But not for the reason you think I am.
– I don't understand a single word of yours now...
– I am happy, because now, you don't have that man, I can confess, that... – He took a deep breath before saying – I'm in love with you.
– What the... – I froze. Unbelievable, that his man, actually the man of my dreams just admitted that he loved me. Okay. This is so fucking weird. – Fuck...
– Yeah, that's what I wanted to do to you for the last two years. – He laughed at himself hopelessly. I stared at him with a confused look, and he started to explain this. I wasn't sure that he was trying to convince me more than himself. – So this is all new and so very hard for me. Everybody thinks that I'm straight, but the truth is that I am not. It feels like I always knew I mean I thought that we made for each other. You were always so fucking perfect: I didn't fit in your future plan. But you have to know all of your opportunities before you decide how to continue your life. I am so sure you could convince James to get you back, if you really want to. And you have to understand, that I am at the crossroads right now, I have to deal with myself in a lot of things and I just can't give you what James can. But life would be more interesting and exciting with me. So if you want to what I would LOVE to... Oh... I didn't let you say a single word. I made a complete idiot of myself. You probably don't want to hear about me, and getting together. You must hate me for what I said and did to you. I put you through a lot off mess and trouble, and I am so truly sorry about that... I have always had feelings for you, and I still have, I was just afraid, to admit it to the world. And to myself of course. I think I really love you will. If this flattering feeling in my stomach is it. I can't stop thinking about you, you are always in my mind, and I would be ready to share this feeling, but I know, you might send me to the hell right now... And I don't deserve anything else. I think I should go now, and let you deal with... – and he stood up from the ground. I was frozen there, didn't know what to say, but he was going away, and I had to stop him.
– Stop – My voice sounded confident. More than I expected. – Get your ass back here – I told him. No begging or asking was in my voice. I was not polite as I always am. He sat himself back down.
– Will, I didn't want to hurt your feelings with my confession. I am truly sorry, if I did...
– Shut up. Stop being a girl, and don't act like I was a girl, because I am not.
– Sorry...
– Stop apologizing. Don't say a word, now I am talking. You listen understand?
He nodded.
– Okay. First: I don't know what the fuck comes to you, to love me! No, don't you dare to speak. Second: You are a fucking jerk, you were an asshole through the years, and I took it without a word, and you went on with that till today. Third: I cannot imagine my life when I am... – I stopped for a second to raise his face direct line with mine. – Not around you Sonny.
Seeing his face lit up, and tears started forming in his eyes.
– I have always fallen for you. I loved you while you were a jerk, and I didn't even love James. I always loved you.
- Will, I don't know what to say...
– Don't say anything. Prove it. Kiss me.
He looked at me not knowing what to do. He hasn't kissed a guy before, and he was scared. I leaned closer to him, and I softly touched his face with my palm.
– You okay? – I asked.
– My heart beats so fast. I don't know if it's normal...
– It is. And I am glad you feel this way, because I feel it too. You think you ready to do this?
– As ready as I've never been – He panted out. I leaned even closer and cupped his face with my hands. He closed his eyes. I did too and I softly touched his lips with mines. It was kind of electricity between us. I pulled away for a second but after I kissed him more passionately. My tongue licked his lower lip and I felt him trembling. I raised my hands to his neck, and pulled him closer. He stroked my hair with his fingers. And I couldn't help but moan to his mouth. When we parted away we both couldn't breathe. It wasn't my first kiss, James kissed me before, but I never felt so strong for anyone. I had it bad for Sonny. He was my competition and my award as well, he completes me. He became my addiction during this kiss.
– That was...
– Sonny I love you... I love you so much.
– Oh my god... I can't even believe that this is happening... Don't wake me up, please... Never wake me up. I love this dream... And I love you! I am so very, awfully terribly sorry for what I did to you.
– Don't be, I totally get it. You were ashamed of being gay, and you didn't dare to be with me...
– Yes, but I'm sorry. I did it the worse way. I shouldn't have been bitching with you. Please forgive me!
– I already forgave you! – I whispered, and kissed him again. A teardrop rolled down on his cheek. He was so broken, and shy, I haven't seen him like this before. – So what will happen now? – I asked.
– What do you mean?
– Will you tell the others, or you go on with hiding? I mean... I don't want to force you or something...
– I want to. But I'm scared. And so confused. I don't know what to do... I'm afraid of what they say but I want to be with you... – He cried out.
– Shush, I'm here! I'm here for you Sonny! Now, and always! Just enjoy what we have now!
He looked up at me, and his sparkling eyes were filled with tears. Then he closed them, and leaned closer. His lips softly touched mine, he raised his hand to cup my face, and he stroked my skin with his thumb. Our tongues crossed each other, and started dancing a waltz. We both were trembling. As his teeth softly bite my lower lip I totally lost my mind. I parted just for a half second, then I pressed my lips aggressively against his own, and my fingers went through his dark locks in a rough passionate way. I enjoyed every inch of him. I wanted all of him, and I did what I never let James to do to me. I touched him THERE. He was semi-hard while I was rock hard already. Sonny quaked, and froze. I parted away, and saw him looking freaked out.
– Oh, my gosh... I'm so sorry, I didn't think... I wasn't thinking, I lost my head, please don't be mad at me, I didn't want to do this...
– You didn't? – He stopped me.
– I did, but I shouldn't have...
– You should have! You must have! Oh my god you are awesome and so passionate. And I will hurry to be ready. I don't want you to wait so long. You might get used to it with James and I'm unexperienced...
– Oh, no, no, no. I didn't... We haven't... So I didn't let him. Anything. Not even a single touch. He wanted, but...
– But... Will, it was two fucking years, and you didn't let him to have YOU!?
– What about me!?
– You are... Hot!
– No I'm not.
– Yes, you are. Don't you see that you are the most handsome and sexiest guy in this fucking school? All of the girls would go crazy if you were not gay. And that is why I can't believe, that you are here with me...
– Thank you for loving me Sonny.
– Thank you for accepting it.
– Okay. I'm glad that you are not mad. And you still want to be with me?
– Of course I want to be with you. And in the next break everybody will get to know, that we... Actually, are we a couple now?
– Yes, if you want to... I'm not forcing you or something...
– Okay, shut the fuck up, of course I want to! All I wanted in the last two years was to be your boyfriend! Oh my god, I love the sound of that!
– Right?
– Then kiss your boyfriend!
– Gladly! – I moaned meanly inches far from his mouth and then they met. We just started kissing each other, the school bell rang. It was time to face the others, and show them that we got together. Sonny looked up at me with a confident glance, and I melt.
– Ready? – He asked.
– More than ever... – I whispered to his ears.
To be continued…