Chapter 1: You bored now?
The thing to understand is that in order to be a great grandmaster, like Robin and Morgan were, you had to know tactics and people at the same time. Father and daughter were well liked and respected around the camp for their (usually) successful strategies, skill on the battlefield and overall pleasant demeanor. It was almost like they were perfect; even though it was known that Robin was meant to be a vessel for Grima to end the world, the Shepherds had teamed up and brought him down. Along the way, many "future children", as the Shepherds named them, showed up. They basically came from an alternate future about as broken as Henry's childhood after the giant wolf died. With their help on the battlefield and knowledge of future events, the world was saved.
But the conflict wasn't over for Robin and Morgan. Oh no, far from it. See, when you're as smart as they are, many normal things in life that are entertaining for others are boring. This would not do. The world was saved, and now these two would be bored for the rest of their days? As Brady would say, "Oh hell no, fuck that bullshit!" Whether he was avoiding runs or they were avoiding boredom didn't matter- the term was being used in the same context.
"Wow dad, it's been beyond boring for the last two months," Morgan quipped one day.
"I know. Honestly, I don't even know what to do right now," Robin replied. He really hated seeing her daughter like that. Being extremely bored, he thought, may be on the level of excruciating pain as one of the worst feelings he experienced. He knew what he was thinking, and what she was thinking- the peace they had worked so hard for, while undeniably good for everyone, made things quite dry. Then again, when you fight in a war where the world is on the line, and you also happen to be incredibly intelligent, it's hard to create excitement.
Whether for good or bad, that was about to change very soon.
In the future timeline where Morgan came from, Chrom had married Sumia between the war with Plegia and Valm. That was not the case here; in fact, while some had tied the knot, many Shepherds hadn't married yet. However, that was going to change, starting today.
Suddenly, Cordelia came into the room. "Listen Robin, you're a friend of mine, so I'd like to tell you-" Robin knew instantly where she was going with this.
"You have a crush on Chrom and you want my help in getting you married with him," Robin finished for Cordelia.
"Wait, you knew?" Cordelia was quite surprised, and that in itself surprised Robin.
"Two things Cordelia. One, you didn't do a very good job of hiding your feelings, and two, pretty much everyone in camp knows you're trying to get in Chrom's bedroom. So, after a while, the Shepherds went and told me." At this sudden revelation, Cordelia's face went as red as her hair.
"Oh, well that's…" Cordelia trailed off, still embarrassed.
"Something that will no longer be a problem for you. Listen, if Morgan and I can make strategies that help save the world, we can most certainly get you a dosage of the prince's holy sword. We're gonna help you get some of that penal activity, you know what I'm saying?" Sometimes Robin would talk like this when addressing Shepherds; this was after they convinced him that the camp did not need a second Miriel, except in male form.
Cordelia smiled, despite his crude language; it was obvious they wanted to help her out. "Meet up with us later tonight. We will discuss our strategy then in the very place we are standing," Morgan added.
"Thank you," Cordelia said as she walked out. Robin and Morgan both flashed a now rare grin at each other. Then, it was all business.
"The first step is getting him to notice her. Like goddamn, you have to be a special type of stupid to not realize that someone's had a crush on you since childhood. Now, what kind of scenarios should we invent?" Morgan mused. She wouldn't have much time to think about it, however, as someone else walked in while she was thinking.
"Robin, Morgan, greetings. I will get to the point: I have run into quite a big problem involving my personal feelings and Princess Lucina," Laurent suddenly explained.
"Oh, no…" Robin knew exactly where this was going.
"Quite simply, I am attempting to court Princess Lucina in an effort to be in a romantic relationship with her, hopefully culminating in marriage. For a long time I have had these feelings, but never knew how to handle or act on them. Therefore, I seek your help."
Morgan spoke up. "You know I won't lie, that actually caught me off guard. Ok, so just curious: do you remember the last time you talked to her casually? Not about war or battles, just making conversation?"
"Conversing with others has never been something I was adept at, as people are often confused by my manner of speech and vocabulary. However, I do not believe I can recall the last time I spoke with her about a lighter subject." Laurent replied.
"Oh, shit…" Morgan started to trail off, realizing that Laurent was somehow even more socially awkward than she had imagined. "We're talking about starting all the way from the beginning here. And then we have to hook you up with her before one of her no doubt many suitors does. My god, this is some tough sledding we're looking at here."
"I understand that my social competence is lower than that of the average human being. Could you perhaps teach me how to act in social circumstances, so that I may begin courting Lucina?" Laurent asked, almost begged, even, judging by his tone of voice. Morgan couldn't say no, especially not to a good friend.
"Yes, Laurent, we promise to help you out. Meet us later this afternoon, and our plan will come to fruition!" Morgan exclaimed. Laurent thanked the both of them and walked out. "Honestly, we may have a harder set-up here than getting Cordelia with Chrom."
"Remove the may in that sentence, because I don't even know where to start. And it looks like you don't either," Robin replied.
"Yeah, I hate to say it, but it looks like-" Once again, Morgan was interrupted, this time mid sentence rather than mid thought.
"I need help!" Inigo exclaimed from outside the tent. "Look, it's about Lucina…" There was no reason for either of them to listen to the rest of his sentence; it was quite obvious what he was talking about.
"Oh my God, is he fucking serious right now?" Robin didn't say a word, but that was what his facial expression told Morgan.
"Well, he is serious. About fucking. And Inigo generally doesn't lie. If he does, you can see it coming from Tellius, or any other foreign continent for that matter." Morgan mentally replied to her father. Even though they had tuned out almost everything Inigo said, they still knew what Inigo said.
"So, you want us to help you get with Lucina. You, of all people?" Morgan asked, more rhetorically than for an answer, but she got it anyways.
"Yes. I believe I have fallen in love with her, and I wish to spend my life with her. However, she doesn't seem to have the strongest image of me. As you are a good friend of mine, I would like your help in courting her," Inigo explained.
Now, Morgan was going to refuse his request, as they had already planned on helping Laurent get together with Lucina. However, it wasn't that simple. For one, he wasn't lying when he said they were friends. She was as close a friend to Inigo as she was to Laurent. How could she possibly break his heart and tell him "No, I'm already trying to get Laurent into her bedroom?" Also, she owed him for all the times he saved her ass on the battlefield during the war. Additionally, it was quite apparent that either of them would make a better husband than her no doubt countless sleazy royal suitors.
And finally, if she was being fully honest with herself, she didn't know whom she would rather see get with Lucina: Inigo or Laurent? She had teased Lucina about "hooking up" with many boys before, but nothing ever serious came of it. In her mind, she had always imagined that Laurent or Inigo would make a good husband for Lucina. Now, she had the opportunity to basically choose who would get with her. Morgan had both Laurent and Inigo in the palm of her hand. Well, her and Lucina.
And she was always comfortable with giving orders and having people follow her. She wasn't evil; it's just that she was suited for leading people. "Okay Inigo, meet us tomorrow morning. You had better be serious about this and not go around flirting with other girls or you're a 'dead motherfucker', as Brady tends to say."
"Thank you! I'll meet you then." Robin waited until he was sure Inigo had left to speak to Morgan.
"What the fuck did you do that for?!" Robin exclaimed.
"Calm down, I'll have it covered. They'll never find out about the other's romantic plot. Listen, I know how to make crafty plans and manipulate people without them knowing. I learned from you," Morgan replied sarcastically.
Robin couldn't exactly make a crafty reply to that. "Oh, damn…" He was actually kind of impressed at his daughter's snark. "Well, anyways, how is Lucina's relationship with Inigo?" His voice was rather high as he tried to change the subject.
A response came. However, it wasn't the one he was looking for. "Um, Robin, do you think you could help me with something?" Sumia asked from outside.
Robin let her in. "Oh, goddamnit, here we go again…" Morgan thought to herself as she desperately hoped she wouldn't follow the same path as the previous three guests.
"Anyways Robin, I have a bit of a problem with someone. I have… well, romantic feelings for this one guy, and the issue is I can't confess them. Or maybe, I don't know how," Sumia explained.
You know, it should be pretty obvious who she's talking about, but just in case… "And this guy is…?" Robin thought to himself before asking.
"Chrom." Oh, how surprising. Wait, shit! This is so fucked! How do I explain to her that I'm helping Cordelia? Romance was a rather new field for Robin, as he had never bothered to explore it all that much during the wars. Sumia and the others did not approach Robin because he was a romance expert; they went to him because they liked him.
Whenever Robin was put in a bad situation on the battlefield or in a social gathering, the first thing he would always do was try to make more time. Whether that meant changing the subject, running away or creating a distraction didn't matter; he just had to take focus off the weak spot or awkward topic of conversation. This may have been the worst situation he found himself in, so he would have to ensure neither of them figured out about their romantic intentions. Because it was quite obvious that neither he or they were ready to know the truth. Until then, he would need to buy time for himself and craft plans- to get one of them into Chrom's bedroom, to ensure no one aside from him and Morgan knew of the plans and, maybe, in the worst case scenario- to tell Sumia, Cordelia, Laurent and Inigo what was really happening in the least awkward way possible.
The third plan was one he had no intention of executing, so it was time for him to devote his energy to the first two plans. "Okay then, I tell you what. Meet us tomorrow afternoon, and we'll find out how you can confess your love, okay?" Robin said gently. It was always fascinating how words, how you looked while saying them, the words chosen and the tone of voice while speaking could affect someone so greatly. Sumia walked out of the room, leaving Robin and Morgan alone, and mercifully, with no one else looking for romantic advice.
"You bored now?" Robin asked to no one in particular.