Loving Alone
Disclaimer: I don't own any of this. JKR does.
A/N: This is set during their seventh year at Hogwarts. Crabbe's transferred to another wizarding school, and Goyle was killed by a rogue bludger whilst playing Quidditch in the holidays.
This is slightly Harry/Ginny, but also it's (unrequited) Draco/Harry slash. If you don't like slash, stop reading now. Don't carry on reading & then flame me. Thanks, dramaqueen.
Early morning sunlight was already beginning to shine through Draco's dorm room window by the time he finally got to sleep. Not that this was anything new.
Things had been bad enough towards the end of his sixth year after Crabbe had left Hogwarts to move abroad with his family. School just hadn't been the same with only two of them to torment the other students.
But at least then there had been two of them.
He had been staying with his cousins in New York when he had heard the news.
Even now, eight months on, Draco could clearly remember the feeling that welled up inside him when he had read the letter from home. He remembered hoping that it was just some extremely cruel prank, played on him by one of the many people whose lives he had made hell over the years. No such luck.
Returning to Hogwarts after that summer had been excruciating. Not only because it was filled with the memory of his late friend, but also because Draco couldn't let anyone see how upset he was. He had worked so hard at hiding his feelings from his family, he wasn't about to let the losers at school see how much he was hurting.
Every night, when his roommates were asleep, Draco would sit up in bed and cry as silently as possible.
He hated himself for being so weak. But not as much as he hated the confusion. He was confused as to what made him most weak; being unable to let those around him know that he was grieving, or the simple fact that he *was* grieving.
He was confused by other feelings too.
For about a year now Harry and Ginny had been an item. And for about a year, Draco had felt what he could only describe as jealousy whenever he saw them together.
What was even more confusing for him was the part where a voice in his heart screamed out that it wasn't Ginny that he wanted so badly. No matter how much his head told him that was the only available option.
As their final exams grew closer and closer, Draco's feelings towards Harry grew stronger and stronger.
Day in, day out, Draco told himself he was imagining the pain in his heart that increased each time he saw how happy Harry was with Ginny.
It wasn't the prospect of being gay that bothered him so much, (although he was terrified of how his parents would react if that proved to be the case,) but rather it was the concept of being in love with Harry Potter of all people that freaked Draco out the most.
But after awhile he could no longer deny it. Not to himself anyway.
Harry was on his mind twenty-four/seven. He felt happier around Harry than he ever had in his entire life. And Harry was the reason that he had not had a decent night's sleep in ten weeks.
With Crabbe on the other side of the world and Goyle dead, he spent most of his time alone.
That combined with his deep yet unrequited love for the one person he knew he could never be with, Draco was lonelier than he had ever imagined possible.
Every night, as the dusk turned to dawn, Draco Malfoy was loving alone.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of this. JKR does.
A/N: This is set during their seventh year at Hogwarts. Crabbe's transferred to another wizarding school, and Goyle was killed by a rogue bludger whilst playing Quidditch in the holidays.
This is slightly Harry/Ginny, but also it's (unrequited) Draco/Harry slash. If you don't like slash, stop reading now. Don't carry on reading & then flame me. Thanks, dramaqueen.
Early morning sunlight was already beginning to shine through Draco's dorm room window by the time he finally got to sleep. Not that this was anything new.
Things had been bad enough towards the end of his sixth year after Crabbe had left Hogwarts to move abroad with his family. School just hadn't been the same with only two of them to torment the other students.
But at least then there had been two of them.
He had been staying with his cousins in New York when he had heard the news.
Even now, eight months on, Draco could clearly remember the feeling that welled up inside him when he had read the letter from home. He remembered hoping that it was just some extremely cruel prank, played on him by one of the many people whose lives he had made hell over the years. No such luck.
Returning to Hogwarts after that summer had been excruciating. Not only because it was filled with the memory of his late friend, but also because Draco couldn't let anyone see how upset he was. He had worked so hard at hiding his feelings from his family, he wasn't about to let the losers at school see how much he was hurting.
Every night, when his roommates were asleep, Draco would sit up in bed and cry as silently as possible.
He hated himself for being so weak. But not as much as he hated the confusion. He was confused as to what made him most weak; being unable to let those around him know that he was grieving, or the simple fact that he *was* grieving.
He was confused by other feelings too.
For about a year now Harry and Ginny had been an item. And for about a year, Draco had felt what he could only describe as jealousy whenever he saw them together.
What was even more confusing for him was the part where a voice in his heart screamed out that it wasn't Ginny that he wanted so badly. No matter how much his head told him that was the only available option.
As their final exams grew closer and closer, Draco's feelings towards Harry grew stronger and stronger.
Day in, day out, Draco told himself he was imagining the pain in his heart that increased each time he saw how happy Harry was with Ginny.
It wasn't the prospect of being gay that bothered him so much, (although he was terrified of how his parents would react if that proved to be the case,) but rather it was the concept of being in love with Harry Potter of all people that freaked Draco out the most.
But after awhile he could no longer deny it. Not to himself anyway.
Harry was on his mind twenty-four/seven. He felt happier around Harry than he ever had in his entire life. And Harry was the reason that he had not had a decent night's sleep in ten weeks.
With Crabbe on the other side of the world and Goyle dead, he spent most of his time alone.
That combined with his deep yet unrequited love for the one person he knew he could never be with, Draco was lonelier than he had ever imagined possible.
Every night, as the dusk turned to dawn, Draco Malfoy was loving alone.