Title: Truth Be Told
Author: Steph
Rating: G
Pairing: Hook/Emma
Characters: Hook & Emma
Category: Drama/Romance
Disclaimer: I do this out of a love for this couple. No infringement is intended.
Spoilers: Picks up right after 5x08.
Summary: Killian and Emma discuss the decision she made that caused Killian to become the Dark One. When she reveals what happened in Camelot after, Killian learns some surprising truths that will change everything.
Note: So this popped into my head after 5x08. This is how I would like things to go in 5x10. Hope you enjoy it and please let me know what you thought! ~Steph
…Truth Be Told: Part 1/1…
Zelena smiled wickedly at Killian. "So what did you have in mind? What should we do to her? Can I use my monkeys on her? I miss my monkeys."
Killian looked at Emma and he felt an ache in his heart. No matter what, she would always be the woman he loves.
Killian turned to Zelena. "I need to speak to Emma alone."
Zelena adopted a pout. "Oh, but it was just getting to the good part."
"Leave. Now," he said to her, his eyes boring holes into hers.
Zelena nodded. "Fine, no need for your newly acquired darkness to rear its ugly head."
Zelena waved her hand and disappeared.
Killian moved to stand in front of Emma. He looked at his hand and realized for the first time that he had magic. He waved his hand at her and she became unfrozen from her spot. Killian's eyebrows rose in surprise, but he couldn't deny that he liked the rush it gave him.
"Thank you," she whispered.
"I can't believe you did this to me," he spat out.
"It was the only way to save you, Killian. I didn't have a choice."
He shook his head. "I remember now. I remember telling you not to do it. I told you I didn't think I could fight the darkness again."
Emma took a deep breath. "I couldn't lose you. I've lost everyone I've ever been with. I told you that. It was one of the reasons I was afraid to open my heart to you in the first place. The fear of losing you is why I was afraid to invest in our future, Killian."
Killian's jaw clenched. "You took away my choice. You chose to take on the darkness, Emma, because you believed you could fight it and that everyone who loved you would try to save you. You were the Savior. You have goodness and light in you that can never be taken away. When I was a pirate, I allowed the darkness inside of me. I chose to commit those terrible sins. But now...now you've put the darkness inside of me. The choices I make are not my own anymore, Emma. And I know that no matter how hard I try I won't be able to fight the darkness."
"Yes, you can, Killian. You're stronger than you think. You fought the darkness once. You can do it again."
He met her eyes. "I was able to fight it because of you, Emma. You saw the good in me. You were my guiding light. I looked to you to see how to follow the right path. But now...I can only look to you to see how to follow the darkness."
Emma shook her head sharply. "That's not true, Killian. The choices I've made were for you. For us. For our future. I was not guided by hatred or anger or vengeance. I was guided by love."
Killian's voice emerged sharply. "The Dark Ones make the wrong choices for what they believe to be the right reasons. They justify their actions to help them live with themselves. And now that's my burden to carry. All because of you."
"I won't apologize for saving the man I love. I just regret that I couldn't find another way."
"You made your choice, consequences be damned."
Emma came closer to him, leveling him with a glare. "Look me in the eye and tell me you would have made a different choice, Killian. Tell me that if you were in my place, if you were watching me die, that you wouldn't have done everything in your power to save me."
"I would have respected your wishes, Emma," he replied, his eyes leaving hers and his voice betraying him.
"Liar," she whispered. "I know you, Killian. I know how much you love me, I know how determined you are. You would have made the same choice."
He shook his head. "No, I would never try to control you, Emma. If I wished to do that, then I would have used the dagger on you in Camelot, but I never did." Killian sighed, his voice lowering. "It's all for naught now anyway. Turns out, despite your best efforts, you still lost me."
"Killian."
"I want to hurt you the way you hurt me," he whispered.
A tear rolled down Emma's cheek. "You don't mean that."
"I'm the Dark One now, Emma. The promises I make, I keep."
Emma brought her hand up to his cheek. He flinched for a moment, but did not pull away.
Her voice softened. "You said I made you believe that all sins could be forgiven if someone loves you."
"You said you didn't need forgiveness," he replied.
"I know I hurt you, Killian. It wasn't my intention. I did what I did out of love, but it doesn't change the fact that it hurt you. For that, I hope you will find a way to forgive me."
"Forgiveness doesn't come easily to a dark heart," he said softly, as he stepped back and broke contact with her. "I sought vengeance against the Dark One for centuries because I couldn't find a way to let go of what he did to me. And now you've turned me into what I detest the most."
Emma swallowed roughly. "I warned you, Killian. I warned you that you may not like the truth. But you said you wanted to hear it anyway. You said you would love me no matter what I've done."
Killian nodded solemnly. "Aye, that I did. I just never imagined you would do this to me."
"I saved your life!" Emma suddenly snapped, her eyes flaring. "You wouldn't be standing here right now if it weren't for me. A little gratitude would be nice."
"What kind of life is this, Emma?" he snarled at her. "Tell me. I will spend eternity committing terrible deeds. I will hurt others for my own selfish gain. I won't be able to fight those impulses."
Emma's voice softened. She could see the fear in his eyes. "Yes, you can, Killian. We can fight it together. I can help you."
"I've had my fill of your help."
Emma sucked in a breath. "I know you remember now. In Camelot, you told me that I needed to trust you. You told me that you would never stop fighting for us. You told me that you wanted a future with me, that the future was nothing to fear. Was it all a lie?"
Killian shook his head. "Unlike you, Emma, I never lied to you. I meant every word. But people change. I just found out I'm not the same man I was an hour ago."
"Yes, you are, Killian. You are the same man I fell in love with. Don't you see? That's why I tried to so hard to let you see that even though I was the Dark One I was still Emma, I was still the woman you fell in love with. I wanted to give you hope if you ever learned the truth."
"Hope? There is no hope, Emma. You took it away."
Emma's jaw clenched. "I made the ultimate sacrifice for you that day, Killian. I knew that using Excalibur to save your life would mean that I would be consumed by the darkness. But I didn't care. My love for you outweighed everything. I sacrificed myself for you."
"It was a selfish choice. But I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. The Dark One always makes selfish choices."
"Saving your life was selfish?" she asked, unable to hide the pain and anger in her voice. "Sacrificing myself to the darkness for you was selfish?"
He bobbed his head. "It wasn't about me. You did it because you didn't want to lose someone else. You did it because you didn't want to go through that pain again."
Emma stared daggers at him. "I did it because the mere thought of never seeing you again tore me apart. I did it because I couldn't imagine my life without you. I did it because I wanted that future for us. The one you promised me, the one you were planning for when you found this house."
"This house was about giving you hope for the future, it was about giving you something to hold onto, something to look forward to," he said.
"And I was fighting for that future when I saved your life, Killian." She shook her head violently. "I can't believe you were so willing to leave me, to just give up."
Killian sighed heavily. "I didn't want you to sacrifice yourself for me, Emma. And I knew I couldn't fight the darkness this time."
"You always told me you were a survivor. You told me that countless times. All I did was make sure that remained true."
"No matter the consequences."
Emma felt tears fill her eyes. "I watched you die when we were trapped in that storybook, Killian. And it tore me apart. I knew I couldn't go through that again. I found a way to save you then and I knew I needed to find a way to save you again. If that's selfish, then I suppose I'm guilty."
Killian nodded. "And now you too must live with the consequences of that decision."
Emma let out a breath. "I love you, Killian. And I know that no matter how angry you are at me, no matter how much pain you're in right now, that you still love me too."
Killian bobbed his head sadly. "Of course I still love you, Emma. This wouldn't hurt so much if I didn't," he replied softly, his eyes filled to the brim with tears.
With that, he walked passed her and out of the house.
Emma moved to the doorway. "Killian! Please come back! Don't do this to us!"
He squeezed his eyes closed as he heard her anguished cries behind him, but he never looked back.
…
A few days later, Emma poofed herself onto the deck of Killian's ship. She hadn't seen him since that terrible day at her house. She knew he was avoiding her, but she needed to see him. He still didn't know the whole story.
"I don't recall inviting you aboard my ship," she heard coming from behind her.
Emma spun around to face him. He looked different. His hair was wilder. He had traded his leather for a black jacket, shirt and pants. She wondered if he had purposely chosen not to wear leather like she did to distance himself even further from her.
"We need to talk," she said.
"I think we've talked enough for several lifetimes, don't you?" he replied.
Emma moved to stand in front of him. "There are still things you don't know. You don't know what happened in Camelot after. You left before the dream catcher could return your memories of that time."
"I don't see any dream catcher," he said, gesturing at her with his hook.
"That's because I want you to learn the truth from me this time. "
Killian cocked his head at her and crossed his arms over his chest. "Well, then get on with it."
Emma took a deep breath. "You were angry with me after you became the Dark One. You wished that I had respected your wishes. But you came to understand that I did it out of love. You forgave me, Killian."
His eyes narrowed at her. "Just like that?"
"It took some time, but yes. You remembered my struggle against the darkness. You remembered me pleading with you not to leave me. You remembered what it felt like to feel your life leave your body. You see, when you learned the truth the other day, Killian, it was like you were hearing a story. Yes, you got your memories back but you didn't get back how you felt in those moments. Not truly. You've known me as the Dark One for weeks now. You've seen what I've done. You know I've lied to you. But in Camelot I had just succumbed to the darkness when you became the Dark One. Given all that, it makes sense that learning the truth now would be much harder for you to accept. It's understandable that it would be harder for you to forgive me now."
He shook his head. "If that's true, then why take my memories?"
Emma met his eyes, as her voice softened. "That wasn't my idea, Killian."
"What in bloody hell are you talking about, Emma?"
"It was yours," she stated.
Her shook his head furiously. "You're lying to me again. You've been lying to me this whole time. That's what the Dark Ones does."
"It's the truth," she said firmly.
"Why would I want you to take my memories?" he asked, his tone bordering on angry.
"Because you didn't want to remember what you had done," she said.
Killian swallowed hard. This was his greatest fear realized. He knew he hadn't been able to fight the darkness.
"What did I do?" he asked hesitantly, his voice emerging barely above a whisper.
Emma took his hand in hers. She expected him to pull away, but he didn't. "It was your idea to cast the curse, to send everyone back without their memories, including yourself."
"But why, Emma?" he asked, growing increasingly impatient.
"You wanted to rid yourself of the darkness, Killian. You wanted to rid me of it too. You came up with the idea to make Excalibur whole and put our darkness into another vessel."
Killian's eyes widened. "I came up with the idea to kill Zelena and fill her with our darkness?"
Emma shook her head. "Not at first. Your idea was to kill Merlin and use him as the vessel. Merlin is immortal, but you believed Excalibur could destroy him. You thought that it was the best way to contain the darkness since Excalibur had once controlled him."
"And you went along with this, Emma?" he asked, shaking his head in disbelief.
Emma nodded. "Yes, I did. I wanted the darkness gone from both of us. I wanted to get our future back. So I agreed. I used the spark to unite the dagger and Excalibur. And then we found Merlin."
Killian's brow furrowed. "What happened? If it had worked, then we wouldn't still be dark."
"You stabbed Merlin with the sword, but when you did, it broke off inside him. The part that had been the dagger broke off. It turned out that Merlin's magic was too great. He was able to fight off the darkness and then he returned Excalibur to the stone. I was able to retrieve the dagger."
Killian nodded sadly. It all felt surreal, like he was in a nightmare.
"I see," he said faintly.
"That's when you came up with the idea to use Zelena instead."
"I was willing to take a mother away from her child like that?" he asked weakly.
Emma brought her hand up to stroke his cheek. "You wanted so badly to rid yourself and myself of the darkness, Killian. You didn't see any other way and neither did I."
He bobbed his head in begrudged acceptance. "So, we opened a portal to send everyone back to Storybrooke and cast a curse to make everyone forget, including myself." He paused, his brow wrinkling. "But in order to cast a dark curse, one must crush the heart of the thing you love the most."
"That's right," Emma said.
"You crushed my heart?" he asked softly.
Emma shook her head. "No, you crushed mine."
Killian felt the air leave his lungs. "No, Emma, please tell me that's not true."
Emma's expression softened. "I'm sorry, Killian, but it is. You wanted to use your own heart, but we couldn't."
"Why not?" he asked, shaking his head.
"Because you had just become the Dark One and that takes a toll on a heart. Your heart was weak. It was too weak to cast the curse."
Killian sucked in a ragged breath. "So we used yours instead. I crushed your heart."
Emma nodded. "You did."
Killian's face paled as he came to a slow realization. "And that's what I didn't want to remember. I didn't want to remember crushing the heart of the woman I love."
"You didn't want to remember any of it. Not the plan to kill Merlin or Zelena or crush my heart. You couldn't live with yourself, Killian. So you made me promise not to tell you and follow through with our plan on my own."
Killian's eyebrows raised. "You're immortal now, so you can survive without a heart, but you can't love without one."
Emma nodded. "That's right."
Killian stared into her eyes. "But I know you are still capable of love, Emma. I see it when you're with Henry. I can see it in your eyes when you look at me. How is that possible without a heart?"
Emma smiled gently. "I have a heart, Killian. I have yours."
His mouth dropped open. "What?"
"You gave me half of your heart."
"I did?" he asked, shocked yet again.
She nodded. "Yes, you believed in our future and you didn't want me to lose that. You didn't want me to lose the ability to love my family and you."
"And my heart wasn't too weak to split?"
"It was risky, but it worked."
Killian brought his hand up and placed it over Emma's heart, a small smile on his lips. "We share a heart."
Emma nodded. "We do and that's why I know that no matter what happens, we will find our way back to each other. I'll give you all the time you need, Killian, but I'll never give up on us."
Emma moved to step away from him to leave, but he wrapped his arm around her waist to hold her in place.
"I don't need any time," he said.
Emma swallowed hard and blinked back tears. "I know this is a lot to take in. I know it's a lot to process, Killian. Please don't make any rash decisions right now. The love we share is too precious to just throw away."
He shook his head. "I meant I don't need any time because I know I want to be with you right now."
"You do?"
He bobbed his head with a smile. "I do."
"Even after everything I've done? You can forgive me?"
"You said I forgave you for making me the Dark One in Camelot. And from the sound of it, everything that followed was my idea. You were simply doing as I asked of you."
Emma smiled. "I was trying to make it up to you by following your wishes this time."
Killian brought his hand up to cup her cheek. "You were right the other day. I was lying. I would have made the same choice, Emma, if the roles were reversed. I would have done everything in my power to save you. I always will."
Emma felt a tear slip down her cheek, as he pressed a kiss to her lips.
They parted, but their foreheads remained touching.
Killian grinned. "I never did say thank you for saving my life."
Emma laughed softly, but her expression quickly grew serious. "This isn't over. We will find a way to rid ourselves of the darkness. We'll find a way we can both live with."
Killian squeezed his hand in hers. "We'll find a way together."
Emma nodded and then lowered her eyes shyly. "So, I was wondering…and maybe I'm pushing it now and should quit while I'm ahead but I was wondering if-…"
"Yes," he said, his eyes twinkling.
Emma's brow lifted. "You don't even know what I was going to say."
"You were going to ask me to move into your house with you."
Emma shook her head, as she fought back a smile. "Actually, no."
Killian's face fell. "Oh, well, my apologies for being presumptuous then."
Emma smiled. "I was going to ask you to move into our house. After all, you're the one who found it."
Killian grinned and placed another kiss on her lips. "Nothing would make me happier."
Emma placed her hand in his. "Let's go home."
With that, they both gave a flick of their wrists. They vanished from the ship and reappeared in the house they would now share together. The house was still a symbol of hope. It was a symbol of hope for a future they were determined to fight for.
…...The End…...
Thanks for reading! Please let me know what you thought! ~Steph