"One fateful day my family moved to the snowy lands of Michigan. I was very pleased for two reasons. 1. The temperature would be closer to the temperature in Norway so I could write higher quality black metal. 2. Deathcore_Doge would finally be able to share some of his Little Caesars with me. After many moons of seeing him eat pizza and drink Mountain Dew via snapchat, I would finally get to watch it live and in person. Better than that, he would even share the pizza with me and if I'm very lucky, he'll even give me my own Mountain Dew can. My first day of school came and went straight to the office. I asked to see the counselor so I could rearrange my schedule, because it was unacceptable. I told the counselor "I don't care what the classes are, please just put me in whatever classes I need to be in to have the same schedule as Deathcore_Doge". A bead of sweat ran down my face, in fact a fuckload of sweat was running down my face, and it made the counselor very uncomfortable. They backed up their chair a bit to get away from the barrage of fluids brought on by my need for Deathcore_Doge. The counselor cried out in a terrified whisper "who the heckie-darn is Deathcore_Doge?" I was startled, I thought everyone in Michigan was subscribed to Deathcore_Doge on iFunny. I panicked and fled the office shouting "I don't know his irl name because Deathcore_Doge is a good enough name to me!" I wept profusely, I couldn't believe that this was happening, I may never meet my hero irl. Just as all hope was gone, a scene unfolded which salvaged my hope for my life. I saw a lanky kid with overly straight black hair and an Asking Alexandria shirt fall to the ground, tripping over its own emotions. "Top kek", I heard someone say behind me. It couldn't be, yet it was, and I ceased to overflow with tears, and began to overflow with joy. I spun around and our eyes met, and that was when I heard the second set of words irl from my Doge, "nobody liked Asking Alexandria m8, the slams are no good and they can't even djent". My savior was here to rescue me from the world that lacked djent and chuggity-chug, and he would take me to a better place. Deathcore_Doge took me out to his car and told me to get in the passenger seat. He pressed a button, and the radio began to play Pierce the Veil. He turned to me and whispered "at least PTV has gotten better with every album instead of just putting the same formula together to make 14 albums that all sound the same", and with that, he pulled out and headed in the direction of Little Ceasers. Next, Fallujah came on the radio, and I begun to brutally headbang to the orgasm that poured through the stereo. I was enjoying myself until thirty seconds in, Deathcore_Doge slammed his brakes and then glared at me, "Fallujah is on, why aren't you masturbating". It was more of an accusation than a question, and I began to furiously "go at it" to please Deathcore_Doge. I was so ashamed, where had my manners gone?We finally arrived at Little Caesars, where Deathcore_Doge purchased our pizza with dogecoin (a higher form of coin). My life was finally perfect, and I had Deathcore_Doge to thank for this, he was the light of my life (but in a kvlt way). We returned to his house, where I sat eating pizza, drinking Mountain Dew, and watching Deathcore_Doge play Fallujah covers on his guitar. We did this late into the evening, and it was without a doubt, the greatest day of my entire life.