LIFETIME AFTER LIFETIME

Author: Sky Samuelle

Rating: PG 14

Words: 916

Disclaimer : If I owned Gossip Girl, Jenny and Dan would have far less screen time. Sadly, I don't.

Summary: Chuck has a strange dream after his first night with Blair. Or maybe it's not so much of a dream as a memory … of another lifetime. Reincarnation fic. Because, come on, we all know C&B are true soul mates.

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They weren't supposed to be doing this. She was his best friend's adoring little sister, and he had no right to touch her like this. She wasn't bound to him by any promise, and he was a soldier. He wasn't in the position to promise her anything in return for the innocence she was so willingly shredding under his hungry kisses.

He had never considered her beautiful before tonight, although he had always thought of her as charming, in her unassuming, poised way. But her face while she offered herself to him, just a little while ago, had been so open and trusting, her hazel eyes so wide and pleading to not crush her, to not push her away.

Noel would never forgive them if he ever found out about this, and it would be fair. She was only a girl, and her future depended on her reputation.

But he was only a man, and the Fire had devastating Paris, giving the city a surreal look. Damned revolution. Their world was crumbling and his hands were bloody, so much that he never seemed to able to wash the taint away, So when he had seen her again among the ruins, the mere sight of her figure was been so familiar, tender, welcoming. He had felt entranced, like if it was the first time he had ever really looked at her.

"Nobody sent me," she had explained herself. "They needed someone to deliver a message, and I volunteered to come."

"Why?" he had asked, needing to hear what he already knew, deep down. He had known since he and Noel were attending the Military Academy and he would come over the house to visit his friend: he would discover her watching them from behind the stairwell, or turning her face away from him too quickly at lunch.

"I needed to know you were all right" her answer was straight forward, her chin jutted out, her eyes meeting his without evasion.

She had kissed him first, her little hands cupping his cheeks and her lips softly pressing upon his. There was been a delicacy in that tentative gesture that had stirred in him both lust for her blossoming femininity and nostalgia for the simplicity of his old life.

Paris smelled like death nowadays, and he suddenly couldn't recall the last time had seen or talked to Noel, the last time he hadn't hated his life, hated himself. He felt like an old man. He had allowed himself the luxury to hold her, to press her slim body to him while he tasted her. She smelled like life, love, and a thousand things he had forgotten. Kissing her was like learning to breathe again.

"I've always loved you," she had murmured later, in his ear, looking beyond his shoulder, her voice shy and broken. "Be my first lover."

Her request startled him. She wasn't one of those common, loose-costumed girls he could take to his bed without thinking, even if he wanted her, even if he hadn't known her family as well as he did. He could not being a selfless man, but he had enough honour left to not destroy her chances of marriage for a whim.

"You know I can't accept you. It would ruin you."

"I came for *you*," she reminded him, stubbornly, and his body's treacherous response to that statement stilled his breath, weakened his resolve. "I want to know we've at least had this, if I have to fear for your life and mine each other day."

She was infatuated with him and he needed her, and while this spitfire of girl kissed him again, he began forgetting all the reasons why needing her was wrong. He no longer believed in anything, except her. Maybe they deserved to find some measure of peace, if only for one night.

"Are you sure?"


She smiled, nodding. His hand curled around the curve of her breast and he thought, while she closed her eyes to his touch, still smiling, that God could not have created anything of more perfect than the creature in his arms. How he could have missed it was beyond him, but he wouldn't forget. Ever.

Somehow, he had to live beyond tomorrow to find her once more, to love her like she deserved.

----

Chuck Bass awoke slowly. His head felt heavy, pounding with a weird sensation which wasn't- he decided straight away- hangover induced.

It was different in a sense he couldn't properly pinpoint. Yawning in his pillow, he tried to recall any details of the strange dream, but his memory was confused mess of alien words and feelings.

"Are you sure?"

For a moment, his confusion intensified. Then the fragments coalesced, finally.

He had banged Blair Waldorf last night. Wow. Now he had whole a new perspective on the terms 'mystifying experience'. The girl was been so….wow.

He was been reluctant to fall asleep because he couldn't seem to get out of his brain how exceptionally surreal it was been, being her first. Chuck glanced at the clock on his nightstand and realized he had slept less than three hours. No wonder that his mind was hazy.

There was the weirdest stirring in the pit of his stomach, but he wasn't hungry. He wasn't particularly nauseous neither.

He thought of Blair, so wild and hot, flirty and many other things you weren't supposed to associate with the Constance'sQueen Bitch.

The stirring intensified.

Freaky.

Better go out for breakfast.