Steven Hyde hated Jackie Burkhart.
He was done.
He was done with all of the bullshit. Tired of everything that she had done to him.
Hyde had gone through a lot in life. God knows it was a hell of a struggle growing up.
He never had a constant father figure in his life. His mother was a crackhead who never really loved him. He was homeless on numerous occasions. embarrassed by his dirty clothes, humiliated by his mother's constant drunkenness.
All of these things killed him every day.
Steven Hyde did not like showing these things. He did not like talking about them, remembering them, feeling them.
If he had one wish, it would be to be numb.
He couldn't deal with the homelessness, the lack of parents, the inability to love, the incapacity to be happy.
He hated it all, after all these years. He had it harder than anyone would ever know.
He shifted his weight on his tiny little cot, much too small for two people. Being careful not to make too much noise, he sat up and roughly rubbed his eyes with his calloused fingers.
'Fuck all this emotional garbage.' He tried. He was trying right now.
As much as he tried to be numb, he tried even more to just forget.
But he couldn't. Because after all the leaving, and the beating, and the moving around, and the feeling of worthlessness, the drugs, the drinking, every fucking thing that had ever made him feel like there was nothing to live for...
Nothing was worse than what Jackie fucking Burkhart had done to him.
She ruined him in a way that he could never forgive her for. He hated her for what she did to him, for how she treated him, for how she made him feel.
Because, with Jackie fucking Burkhart, he didn't feel worthless. He didn't feel like garbage. He felt like there was something to live for.
She loved him in a way that made all the wish for numbness go away, because he couldn't get enough of the feeling that she brought him.
He didn't care about his dirty clothes, because she secretly liked his scruffiness. He could care less about his mom's drinking, because with Jackie, he knew he would never need to be like her to just feel.
It didn't matter that his dad left him, because Jackie walked right into his life.
It didn't matter that his mom hated him, because Jackie loved him.
Her touch, her laugh, her smile, her tiny sleeping body in his cot. It was all for him. It was all he lived for. And it was why he loathed her. Because she loved him.
But, the reason why Steven Hyde hated Jackie the most, was because he loved her back, in a way he never thought was possible.
He wanted to be numb because he was so addicted to feeling .It was stupid, ironic, pointless. He didn't know what he wanted with Jackie because she gave him everything he ever asked for.
The world got blurry and he blinked his eyes until his vision was clear again, until the water was gone from his eyes. 'Fuck everyone.' He said, smirking a little as he wiped his damp hands on his jeans. He got up. He guessed he would go do a two-on-two circle with Forman.
As he opened the door, he looked at his girlfriend's sleeping figure. The shiny black hair, the tiny nose, the delicate hands.
He wanted to kiss her as she slept, but he mentally slapped himself and tried to regain his composure as he walked out of his room.
God, Steven Hyde hated Jackie Burkhart.