Disclaimer: I obviously don't own anything pertaining to Gilmore girls.

Author's note: This is a post season 5 fic and it is a lit, as it always should be. Ok here it goes…this is my first fic so please review so that I know how I can make it better.

RORY'S P.O.V

For the longest time I knew exactly what I wanted to do with my life; go to Harvard and become a foreign correspondent. After all the acceptance letters came in I made some pro/con lists in order to help me make my decision. I chose Yale seeing as it was closer to home.

Yale… it's why I left Star's Hollow… to pursue my dreams which everyone around me made me believe I could achieve. I guess they were wrong because look where I am now, although ever since Jess came back I don't feel that lost anymore.

I ran into him in New York where I was staying, courtesy of my grandparents, to clear my head about school, Logan and Mr. Hutzenberger's comments to my effect. I was strolling down the street when I spotted a coffee shop. Since I hadn't had coffee in at least 7 hours I thought I would stop in. As soon as I walked in I saw a bunch of students studying for finals and I started feeling bad about my decision to forgo said finals. It was all too much for me so I ordered the coffee to go and started walking towards the door. That's when I heard it… "Rory?" I stopped dead in my tracks; I would recognize that voice anywhere, it is my strength and my down fall. I almost don't turn around but then I hear it again, this time his voice pleading with me, "Rory please".

I turned around to face him; he was standing a few feet away from me, staring at me, pleading with his eyes for me to stay with him. In that moment I saw his vulnerability as I knew he could see mine. I knew I could not find any excuse to leave and I knew he would do anything to make me stay, and I was drawn by him like I always am. I stood there motionless for what seemed like an eternity; I still felt uncomfortable in the midst of all these students and I guess he must have sensed this because he graciously offered to go take a walk. I just nodded in agreement. After not seeing him for two years I was too shaken to speak, especially given the circumstances of our last encounter. I said no to him because I was scared of what would happen if I left school. Given my current situation I should probably have considered his offer. Hopefully I will be able to form a complete sentence when we get outside. He came back shortly and held the door open for me to exit the coffeehouse.

I was staring at my coffee cup, my shoes, at the street sign… basically anything but him because if I hoped to form a complete sentence I shouldn't look into his eyes. He apparently had other ideas because he lifted my chin with his finger so that I was at eye level. I had no idea what to say; I wanted to apologize for the way I treated him when he put his heart out there and I threw it back in his face but he didn't give me the chance. He looked at me and in the softest most comforting voice he said "Rory, I'm sorry about everything, what can I do to make it up to you". He seemed so sincere, his eyes full of longing and love. I looked at him trying to decide what my next words would be but I was distracted by him. He was wearing black jeans which hung of his body just right, with a pair of black converse shoes and a Distillers T-Shirt. He had a messenger bag hanging off his shoulder and his hair was still exactly as I remember it…messy and standing on end…but on him it was sexy. He looked exactly the same but he seemed calmer, less angry and not so worried to show his emotions. I wasn't sure what school he was going to or where he was working but wherever he went I am sure he stood out without trying to and that is one of the reasons I love him. He wasn't like any one else I had ever met.

I was only then that I recognized his magnetism. His willingness to comply with my every need was not what attracted me most; it was his lack of caring what people thought of him and his complete disregard for rules which stifled his soul. That is what hooked me and it's what causes my heart to leap every time he approaches me. His gaze always found mine right away as if nothing else mattered to him in that moment. They say that the eyes are the windows to the soul; when he looks in my eyes that is how I felt. I felt as though he could see into the depths of my soul and come back unscathed, unaltered. I always feel like I am the only person in the room when I am with him…even if it is a bustling New York sidewalk. Somehow being with him is scary because of the feelings that stir within me but I am smart enough to know that it is scarier to imagine my life without him. Yet for so long I thought I could live without him, but I realize now that I was merely existing, that only with him did I feel truly alive. Only when I thought of him or spend time with him did I smile fully. He was the person that made my feel strongest about everything… made me love more, made me cry more, made me hate more, but it is true what they say…the only person that can make you stop crying is the person who made you cry. That is true of Jess; he was the only one that could make me feel better even when he was the one who made me angry. I remember the first time I realized I felt something towards him. We were on the bridge having a picnic after he outbid Dean to win my basket and we were discussing literature. I think even in that moment when I was desperately trying to deny it to myself, I knew that he would be the only person who would challenge me while allowing me the space to be myself. Even though our goals were not the same; mine were college and journalism and his were…well he didn't have any, but he always supported my decision to go to college and even calculated how far away he would be from me.

I was shaken out of my daydream when I heard his voice again. I looked at him but once again words were not coming to mind…so I did the only other thing I could think of…

A/n: Please review…let me know if it was bad or if I should continue for a little longer.