Open Door
Authors Note: So basically I was thinking of how Eric got out of the bathroom, and I thought it'd be interesting if Adam had had that same option and just didn't think to take it. So yeah! Also, this is my first time in the Saw fandom, so any critique would be great!
John stood looking into the room that would more than likely become Adam's tomb. The room was dark, but standing behind the two-way mirror, night vision goggles on, John could see everything.
He could see Adam in his pitiful state.
It'd been a week since he'd shut the door on Adam.
Dr. Gordon was doing well. He was awake. He was grateful.
He had won his game, and he deserved his life.
Adam did not.
It was that simple.
Dr. Gordon had been receptive of his message. He understood that his game had made him a stronger person. A better person. A man who would no longer put work above his family. A man who wouldn't let his eyes stray because he didn't want anyone but his wife.
And then there was Adam.
Adam, who leaned against the wall crying and waiting to die. Adam, who hadn't learned anything. Adam, who wasn't taking any of the steps in front of him to grab life.
John had expected this outcome. He'd expected Dr. Gordon to live and Adam to die. He had wanted both to succeed, but he'd only expected one of them to.
Adam was the one hang-up that Lawrence had. Perhaps that's why John was still checking on Adam. Why he kept hoping Adam would realize that he still had a chance. Why he kept hoping Adam would suddenly decide he wanted to live.
Lawrence could be trusted. He was easy to trust. His game had truly changed him. And John had truly wished the same for Adam. Lawrence is his most valuable asset. But Adam could prove just as valuable.
Adam could help find the players. Adam knew how to sneak around. Adam had connections in bad parts of town. Adam could finally be using his skills to help people instead of using them to ruin lives. Adam could be something.
But Adam just sits on the floor in a state that isn't conscious, but isn't unconscious either.
Adam is pitiful, and John is disgusted by it.
But he still hopes that Adam will change his mind.
Lawrence asks about him. Lawrence is still getting used to his prosthetic leg and to the role he will be playing; it's a lot to handle. Still, he asks about Adam every day. Asks if anything's changed. Asks if he's out of his chain. Asks if he's dead.
But the answer is always the same. There's no change. Because every day is the same for Adam.
Adam wakes. He cries. He forces himself to drink a handful of toilet water from the back of the tank. He gets frustrated by the taste and goes into a fit. He screams. He screams for Lawrence because he has no one else to scream for. He curses John even though he doesn't have a name for him. He seems to contemplate eating, whether the shit from the toilet or the dead man in front of him. The thought sends him into another fit. He allows himself to become more dehydrated than he already is. He lies down, and he hallucinates. More often than not he calls for Lawrence.
What he doesn't do is use the toilet cover to break his foot just as he'd used it to break a skull. He doesn't free himself. He doesn't limp through the door that John had closed but hadn't locked. He doesn't risk his foot for his freedom. Or even to turn on the lights that he curses John for turning out.
No. He sits and he waits for a man, who although he calls for, he believes is dead, to save him.
And perhaps that's Adam's greatest flaw. That he has always expected someone to save him. That he's never taken steps in his own life to make it better. That he's always complained, but done nothing.
That he cursed his small, dirty apartment while refusing to take jobs where he could make more money because then he'd have to deal with people he didn't like. That he blamed the people he dated for leaving him after he'd pushed them away.
Adam had never done anything to help himself. He just waited for someone to fix things for him. To give him the big jobs he wanted, but hadn't earned. To love him even though he did everything to push love away.
And now he was waiting for someone to save him. But only he could save himself. And he had all the tools to do it.
But John didn't expect him to save himself. He expected him to die alone in his dark corner still calling for Lawrence.
But still, as John walked away from the mirror, he hoped.
Because Adam still had a chance to choose life. And there was no more precious gift in the world than realizing that you wanted to live.