Roadside divergent
I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!
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Beyond time...beyond space...beyond comprehension...Beyond...well beyond...Something woke...something stirred...something sniffed...something smirked...something...was broken...
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Dipper Pines was in a panic! Things had been complicated enough as it is with just Candy Now all these other girls were mad at him, yelling at him, and-
"Okay, okay! Whoa! Stop everything!" Everyone turned around...and wet themselves.
Standing before them was a hideous demonic entity...It wore a business suite...it had multiple, long, slender arms...and no face!
It shook it's head. "Look I get that your trying to go for the "Being a playboy is wrong" Aesop- Which is fine, don't get me wrong...But how you implemented it was flawed."
Dipper and the girls had no idea what this thing was talking about...But they were too scared to say or do anything.
The thing continues. "And we never see or hear Dipper do anything really romantic! Not to mention he clearly didn't know the girls for more then a few hours apiece tops!"
It shakes it's head as it turns to them and stares at them intently. "So what's the moral here? 'Girls will misinterpret any interaction you have with them as deeply romantic and meaningful to you both, so giving attention to more than one at once is a bad idea?'" The creature shook it's head. "I can't be the only one to see how messed up that is."
He then points to Candy(who wets herself again). "And don't think I've forgotten about you, young lady. Being all huffy over Dippers 'flirting'...But what about your friend Mabel? She flirts with everything that breathes...yet you treat it as charming...So what's the moral there? 'Girls can flirt with anyone with no problem, but guys need to reign it in because women can't be trusted not to overreact?' There's a nice double standard there!"
He then smiles. "But enough of the after-school special...Time to give the audience what they came for: HARD-CORE NUDITY!"
WAIT, WHAT!? Screamed everyone as the creature tossed down an Extra-strength Lust potion.
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The creature laughed as Dipper was 'raped' by all those girls at once, the fact that Stan gets eaten during this is just the icing on the cake!
"Right, let's see if we can't shatter this Aesop further!" He pauses only long enough to put their uncles corpse in Mabe's bed. He then goes to the next universe over, and back to the very beginning of the episode...at a certain giant ball of yarn...
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TO BE CONTINUED?
AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.
But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?
Love me, flame me, review me