Disclaimer: Rather unfortunately, or fortunately (however you see it), I don't own Bleach and can only borrow and play with the lovely characters.
Dying Warmth
Heat and warmth. Those were the feelings Rangiku first registered in the wake of subsiding adrenaline. The heat of Gin's body leaning into hers, chin propped on her shoulder. The burn of his hand resting on the small of her back, fingers gently entangled in the tips of her long strawberry-blond hair. The hot, sticky warmth that flowed over her two hands and down her arms in a seemingly endless stream.
Drip. Drip. Drip.
Seconds ticked by in unbroken silence as drops of crimson liquid fell to the ground underneath them, mixing with the settling dust, a testament to the battle that had just taken place.
She refused to look down, refused to face impending reality and accept what had happened. If she concentrated solely on the warmth, there would only be warmth, and she would be able to pretend that the Winter War was not happening around them. Pretend that Gin had never betrayed Soul Society, betrayed her. She could believe that this was just another one of those cozy embraces that they used to share ever since their days in Rukongai, could believe that the chaos around her was just a nightmare she would presently wake up from in the shelter of Gin's warmth.
"Ah re, ah re… Looks like my little Ran-chan has grown up after all…" His ever-present smirk could still be detected in the pained whisper that sliced its way through her cloud of denial as sharply as if Shinsou had done the job itself.
Against her will, her silvery blue eyes snapped down to Haineko and took in the sight of the cold steel that had clawed its way past layers of crimson-stained white robes into the ribcage of the man who had once been her childhood friend and lover. His warm blood flowed over the guard, covered her hands, and ran down her arms, mixing with her own blood he had drawn earlier.
The trembling came first. Then the whispered denial.
"N-No…"
A chuckle came from the infuriating man holding her in an embrace so reminiscent of the past— a chuckle that was all the answer she needed in response to her denial when it was interrupted too quickly by the sound of coughing and the splatter of more blood hitting the ground behind her. But that was quickly overshadowed by the dulled metallic clang of Shinsou falling onto the stained dirt.
"Ah… Good-bye Shinsou…" acceptance of his fate laced the weak murmur.
Cold tendrils of panic wove their way through the warmth surrounding her, jolting her into action. Letting go of the blade, Rangiku reached up and desperately wrapped her thin arms around his broad back, not caring that doing so would only push Haineko deeper into him. It didn't matter now. Nothing mattered now, nothing except the man she was clinging onto as if there would be no tomorrow, because for the two of them, tomorrow would end today.
He lifted his chin off her shoulder, and trembling with the effort, pulled back slightly to take her in. Forcing his body to last just a little longer, expending all his remaining strength, he raised the hand that had been holding Shinsou and cupped her face, thumb gently wiping away the tear that had escaped without her notice.
"Don't cry… Not for me, never for me…"
The anguish reflected in his open eyes would have made Rangiku reel back in shock had it been a different situation, but as it stood, her own pain overwhelmed any other emotion. Too many unspoken words raced through her mind, none of them adequate enough to express the creeping coldness of renewed loss running through her veins, not one of them strong enough to convey to him how much she hated him for leaving, for dying, for making her love him, and now, for shattering her heart into a thousand, unfixable, frozen pieces.
She hated him. Hated him for siding with Aizen and betraying the Gotei 13. Hated him for becoming a traitor, and causing her to be the one draining away his life. Hated him for making made her fall in love with him, only to splinter her heart into these sharp little shards that made her want to tear at her chest in frenzied pain. She hated him for breaking her heart over and over again, but she hated him even more for making this the last time he would ever do so.
Yet even as she hated him, she loved him. No matter how hard she tried, that feeling would always remain. No matter how many times her heart was crushed, love for him would always manage to worm its way back in. Despite all the pain she knew it would bring, she just couldn't stop loving him. Perhaps she was twisted that way.
But in this moment of deathly clarity, she saw that he loved her back in his own twisted way. Despite all the times he left her behind, despite all the times she watched his back shrinking away into the distance, he had never failed to come back to her. Prior to today, she had always thought herself weak for never refusing to take him back into her heart, only to come to realize that for him, turning back around was a weakness he would show no one but her.
So looking into his eyes now, she knew. Knew that even though he had left her in favor of Aizen, knew that even though he had betrayed Soul Society, knew that even though he had become a traitor to everything she ever held dear, he had never stopped loving her. His seeking her out for battle today was his way of coming back to her, of telling her that he still loved her. Maybe other people wouldn't call it love, but for Gin, that was what love was. Pain, anguish, hurt, interspersed with rays of happiness, warmth, and cheer. Such was the bittersweet love between them.
Their lips clashed together desperately, much like how their swords had crossed earlier, filled with hate and love, anger and happiness, sadness and joy. Everything blurred together, no longer distinguishable as individual feelings, just a rush of pure, unadulterated, passionate emotions.
The kiss didn't last long, a few seconds, maybe less. Red eyes locked onto hers for one last glance, a last smile made its way across his face, and his breath caressed her lips for the last time.
"Ja ne…"
And in the wake of his fading voice, the last feeling Rangiku ever registered was the icy numbness that engulfed her as bitter tears dropped down on Gin's pale, cooling skin.
A/N:
Rangiku: Another sad one?!? And you killed Gin??? What are you doing?!? WRITE SOMETHING HAPPY BEFORE I FORCE SAKE DOWN YOUR THROAT!
Gin: (sticks head in) Shinsou's not happy tha' you made me drop 'im...
Rangiku: (turns on him) She killed you, and all you can worry about is that you dropped Shinsou?!?
Gin: Mah... S'not like I'm really dead... (grins at Rangiku) Wanna come over here and check?
Me: (twiddles thumbs, and decides that Rangiku is too distracted to hear my answer) To all those fans out there who don't like/hate deathfics, I'm sorry! But GinRan is such a bittersweet couple that I couldn't resist. I'd also read a flashfic the other day that put the idea of Rangiku surviving, but not actually living (aka being happy etc.), after killing Gin, so yeah.... ^_^;; Thoughts? Besides the fact that you would like to give me a long torturous death for putting Gin and Rangiku through this....