. S A V I O U R .
Emotions
Thick enough to taste
Like fine wine
Or rusted steel
Emotions
Enough to lose your senses
Enough to bargain your soul
...
Do you want these emotions?
A sea of terror... Endless anger.
Above all, hate.
Hate.
Hate, hate, hate...
Hate.
So much hate.
Jasper opened black eyes to the sea of red.
It was his old nightmare.
Not old due to time, but old due to being. It was the old him that dreamt this dream. The old him that disappeared all those nights ago, when he in his naivety thought he had rescued three girls.
The dream was fuzzy. He saw through shades, curtains - but saw clear enough that the faces of the countless dead were all etched into his head.
How many had died?
How many were still dying?
How many would continue to die, just because he needed to live?
.
"Jasper," called the high, clear voice. "What are you doing?"
Jasper turned his head to Maria, and watched her small, yet still willowy frame glitter across the landscape as she ran to find him. Jasper straightened - he did not feel pain. He couldn't feel pain.
Could a creature like himself feel pain?
He took Maria's hand, and escorted her at breathtaking speeds to the next batch of newborns.
Who would be next?
.
The yowls and the shrieks were daily parts of his life. But even though he knew it was to happen every time, as an endless cycle, there was a shadow on his face every time that day came again.
First, it was only a shadow. The fear peaked, and so did the anger. It was not hard to keep his head clear, but some days somehow became harder than most. On these days, the shadow increased to a hesitant hand, a crease between the brows. And a sharp eyed Maria could not ignore these little faults from her best soldier.
"Jasper, are you twitchy?" she had asked impatiently. "Finish it tonight."
"Yes ma'am," he answered, like he always did. But the shadow never went far.
.
Fear.
Hate.
Loneliness.
Hate.
Anger.
Hate.
Horror.
Hate.
Pain.
Jasper jerked, and one hit sent the newborn flying. He had him pinned the second he returned to earth. The boy snarled, his eyes wild, as if nothing of his human self remained. The pain pulsed around his arm and Jasper glared at the bite mark. When the newborn tried to bite him again, he threw a punch at his face that sent his eyes reeling backwards. The growl had bubbled up unconsciously, but it was there now, rolling from his throat like a panther.
"Jasper?"
He turned his head, himself once more. He kicked the newborn aside when he rolled off him, and walked to kneel in front of Maria.
Her eyes found the bite mark, and understood quickly. But she did not comprehend. "What are you waiting for?" she asked, her tone genuinely curious. But she felt confused, annoyed - he was not doing his job. Jasper ducked his head at the unspoken scolding.
"I was distracted." he offered as a defence.
She clearly did not believe him, but still walked away without commenting further.
Jasper walked back, but did nothing more to the newborn.
His punishment had already been delivered, had it not?
.
"What?"
Her disbelief made her voice breathy. Jasper did not kneel this time, but he still quailed under her stare. She, his creator, his master, was angry at him.
After, Jasper realized that he cared less than he imagined. Why? Wasn't it wrong to not obey his master?f
No.
No, it wasn't wrong.
Maria was not his master.
She was just a being. Not one hundred percent alive, but still a... woman. She had her fears, her jealousies.
Above all, her hate.
Jasper shook his head, and his eyes did not see the newborns in front of him.
He did not regret letting Peter and Charlotte go. There was no need to.
.
"No, no, no!" She almost stomped her foot. "No!"
He could feel the old quailing of humbleness touch his back. But they were faint now, not so much as shackles rather than a strong wind. Trying to push him another way.
But he was so much stronger than wind.
But so was Maria.
And no matter how much stronger than Maria he was physically, emotionally and psychologically she had him beat. Beat by miles and miles. He would not cower under his queen, but nor could he slay her.
So what would he when it came down to the deciding moment?
When it was either her life or his?
Could the peasant that slew the princess ever be justified?
But would a peasant give up his life just because the princess felt like taking it?
.
His arrival was very sudden. So sudden, Jasper had almost mistaken him for an intruder, or a newborn that had broken free from the others. But his approach, and his startling content, was more than enough proof that he was no enemy.
He announced his arrival with a gentle knock. Entered with a breath of wind. Spoke a simple exchange of words.
But it was enough.
Peter had come back for him, and Jasper welcomed his new saviour with both arms. He needed no time to take in what his old friend was telling him, and did not want it. Anything. The peasant loved his princess in his own, peasant way, but did not want to protect her life with his. So he would travel far and wide to assure her of his leave. He would never see her again, for both their sakes.
Jasper leapt away at Peter's heels, and felt... free.
.
What days!
The old nightmare was never to be forgotten, but at the same time, never to be relived.
Or so he thought.
His happiness was not high, but Jasper knew he was not going back to the south.
Peter and Charlotte were his guide to the new world, both grateful to the man that spared their lives. Jasper did not heed this - there was no need to. But even then, even when they were so much closer than he and Maria, Jasper did not feel right.
Was there something wrong with him?
He felt like dying so badly.
He knew how it felt like.
He did die once, felt pain a hundred times worse than death.
But then felt it again and again, every time another life perished to - once again - sustain his own.
Instant gratification was a great thing, it made life easy. But it was so much harder to keep living when ghosts from it kept coming back to haunt.
"Are you feeling alright?"
Jasper turned his head to Charlotte.
Empathy. Worry. Confusion.
He straightened, and disposed of the newly dead body. It made a hollow crunch. Already like a sack of bones.
Jasper Whitlock, butcher.
Or would that be, Jasper Whitlock, The Butcher?
.
"Jasper, maybe we should take a hike somewhere?"
Again, empathy. They were not feeling this. Jasper felt the twitch again, and knew he could not live this life.
Thanks are just excuses.
Goodbyes are empty words.
Promises are too.
But there are exceptions to every rule.
Besides, he could not talk his only friends out of their way of living just because he could not live it.
.
Rain.
Sun.
Cloud.
Fog.
Night.
Night.
Night, black enough to match his eyes.
How much darker could life get? Jasper sighed - but no cloud of fog heated the cold night air.
He was thirsty. Human scent was thick in the air. But his aversion had increased. He could put off the thirst for a while longer, no? Just a while longer. It might go away.
.
The next man he passed did not even have time to make a surprised 'oh'.
Jasper dug a hole for the body.
Who was he kidding.
.
Endless walking. When that got boring, he turned to running. But he could not stop the thirst for long. The thirst that unconsciously brought his feet to civilization. The scent that took over for the thirst.
Maybe he would go find Peter and Charlotte? Make a game out of it.
Childish.
How about going back to Maria? Not to that life, but just to see if she had left the newborns, and started something more worthwhile.
Idiocy.
Jasper growled to himself in frustration. He had an eternity spread out before him. Seconds, minutes, days, weeks, months, years, centuries... perhaps even millennia. How could he possibly find anything to do...?
The rain whet everything. But it turned from a bearable drizzle, to an unforgiving downpour. Jasper felt it like a gentle breeze. He couldn't care less - the rain hampered none of his senses or his comfort levels. However, for the sake of remaining inconspicuous...
The diner ahead offered a light that was welcoming, rather than ostracizing. Not sure he was welcome to what the diner had to offer, Jasper slid inside hesitantly.
And never looked back.
---
He opened his eyes when he heard those unmistakably light footsteps. She pounced on him when she realized her stalk had failed. He swung Alice around one revolution before she settled onto a perch on his back. She tucked her small face in the bend of his neck, and Jasper felt her emotions echo his own. Her small, thin arms hugged his neck. Jasper smiled.
She faced the direction she wanted to go - the great mansion. He set off at a run, and he could feel her smile against his shoulder.
He had never experienced anything as glorious as his life with the Cullens in his entire... well, life.
But it did not start with the Cullens. This bright future he saw, with no help from a sixth sense, was solely due to one existence. His own little wonder, his true soul mate. His final saviour. Jasper felt himself reveling for the umpteenth time how undeniably lucky he was. And how happy he was now able to be.
As soon as they entered the Cullen Mansion, Bella, two years young, pranced forwards, begging Alice for information. Jasper let Alice down, and watched the two bicker from a distance. Though their words were quick and blunt, neither of their emotions faded away from the love and adoration they felt for each other. He gathered that Edward had not told Bella what his second year anniversary present was going to be. Jasper did not smile, but he felt like it, a little. Bella certainly never liked surprises, but he knew that she would feel much better if she did not know this one until the great revealing.
Alice left Bella frowning after her. She reached for his hand before they scaled the stairs, into the attic, and then onto the roof.
The wind picked up her hair, almost the same length as his. A few centimeters longer.
Alice sighed, and rolled around on the red tiles in irritation. "I need something better than what Edward's getting her!" she complained.
Jasper smiled this time, and raised their entwined hands to eye level. "I don't think that's going to happen." He murmured, brushing his lips across her small knuckles.
She turned her head to face him, and her face softened. He knew that she understood immediately what he meant. How could anyone outshine a gift that your most beloved gave you? Alice used their hands to pull herself closer. She lay across him, curling up against his chest. The warmth she gave him was more than just skin-deep.
"I could always try." She sighed speculatively.
He chuckled, and tilted her face towards his.
"I don't think so."
. F I N .
AN: Well. Twilight really and truly has become mainstream. Good on Stephenie Meyer, huh? Anyway... a little oneshot. First fanfic in a long time. Jasper and Alice had always been my favourite couple, I wish I could've seen more of them. Probably more Jasper & Alice to come :)
Hope you guys enjoyed.
I have disclaimed.
xx Caeleus