Hi! My name is Carl! I'm a Canadian mailman in Austin, Texas! Oh I just love my job, because everyone is so nice! Mr. Smith, a 70 year old man who is so happy all the time. he motivates kids to get active by challenging them to step on his lawn. then, if the kids do it, he rewards them with pointy stuff from his lawn. The kids run so fast, I swear! I wonder why they yell ''ow ow ow'' so much...
My best friend is named Roger. He is so awesome! We play tag every day! he belongs to the Keller family, and they train him really well! Sometimes he gets so into our game of tag that he bites off a piece of my clothing. Silly Roger! But sometimes I am so busy running that I forget that I have a job to do. It's sometimes hard to tell Roger to go home, so I got to force him. I usually carry him. well, he actually hangs from my pants and I limp back to the Keller house. Oh what fun!
After a long day at mail-delivering, I walk 10 miles back to my house. It's a nice, peaceful walk. I love the sound of sirens in the evening. don't you? It's the sound of justice rolling through the night, chasing the bad guys. though one time I heard gunshots. then the sound of justice turned into a spiraling scream of death. But I know one thing for sure that that night, someone with a gun died that night.
I have a nemesis, you know. His name is CALVIN RICHFIELD and I have hated him since the day I met him. we went to school together, and it's been that way ever since, from 3rd grade to college. we both had the same future in mind; to be the owner of a post office. but then we soon learned that the post office thing wasn't really possible because the post office is owned by the government. it was awkward for all of us that moment, but it faded away when I discovered two options to the situation; to either TAKE OVER AMERICA! or just be manager of the post office. I was going to go with the first option because, you know, who doesn't want to get all the perks of being "president"? but, at career day at school, some kid named Kevin announced that despotism will once rise again, and that democracy will fail as a whole, and that we are all "filthy" and that he will control us with his mind and charm, and some other crap I think I forgot to mention. did I? oh, just reread the article again, you need the extra words. Any-who, I knew that that idea was taken, so when the teacher asked the whole class what they wanted to be when they grew up, I shot my hand straight up! I was so proud and excited, but stupid little CALVIN was 2 inches taller than me at the time, so when he rose his hand, the teacher's subconscious sort of locked onto him because he was tallest, and she asked him first instead of me. well, I WAS MAD. He answered, " a working man of the 41st division of mailmen who deliver mail and other objects to the people requesting." He could have just said " mailman" but Calvin is weird like that.
Well, being a mailman, I only have to deliver for 3 of the 7 days of the week. another young guy takes my shift for the rest of the week. That leaves me at home. My home isn't much, but it's enough to keep me happy. I have no wife, though. or kids. (And no! I don't live with my mom! you and your stereotypes...) so I end up with a lot of time on my hands. But I fill up that time with something dear to me, something that you couldn't take away even if you wanted to... WORLD OF WARCRAFT! dude I totally own at that game! *snort* I have a level 84 orc warrior with tons of attack and magic points, and I ride my pet gryphon all day! say, want to join me to fight this level- oh, you don't have an account. Well, Mr. /Mrs. reader, sorry for bothering you...