Drowning by gregismamazing
He figured that this was how it must have felt to be drowning; that every time he felt that he has just got back to the surface and was back in control, there was something that dragged him back down. He didn't like that sensation; he knew that there was nothing he could do about it because he was being overwhelmed by the sheer volume and power of it. He could do nothing- he could just watch time passing so slowly because, after all, it was only a matter of time until he was beaten.
It was all about keeping afloat, he shouldn't have gone under in the first place- unfortunate was he to be caught off guard and he ended up going under. So now it was a case of getting back up, regaining control…
Well that was easier said than done.
Greg had told himself over and over that he was fine, that he was actually keeping his head above the water. Convincing himself was the only thing he could think of doing- because all the other options resulted in bodily harm from someone. He knew, underneath all the strong façade, that he wasn't fine.
Somehow, everyone else knew- just looking upon him with concern, maybe even pity and that was something he couldn't cope with. He didn't want people treating him differently because they saw a broken Greg. He just wanted to be treated normally, because quite frankly… They weren't helping matters.
Every day, he could feel himself getting more weighed down. As if someone had swapped the blood with lead, just to deliberately make him feel more tired and more sluggish; which made him feel that he was just being dragged slowly into the depths. Recently everything had felt more strained, like his normal lifestyle couldn't be sustained because he was inevitably loosing.
He had to drag himself up, his normal spring in his step had faltered a long time ago. There was no longer a genuine smile plastered on his face, they had to be forced- and even then there was not the wattage behind the smile to light the room. And his eyes… Well they were dead.
At one point, he had regained control because he was a strong man. Greg had managed to forget her face and managed to forget all the emotions attached- but that hadn't lasted long. A wave had crashed right over his head- pushing him back under with excruciating pain. All she had to do was smile in his direction, a brighter smile than any she would ever give Greg, and he knew that the feelings were there… He just didn't want to admit to them.
He could feel his lungs screaming for oxygen, there was a burning in his chest that just couldn't be extinguished. He could do nothing but look up from his watery depths towards the surface that was disappearing from his grasp. There could be no one to save him; Greg just had to drown in emotions.
Because Sara loved Grissom, and Greg wasn't able to cope with that after loving her for so long.