My.
G...oh shit.
It's. True.
NOT a metaphor. Ooooh nooo. Much worse. Delusional would have been better.
So, so much better.
And I had sex with...him. It? And he...and we...
Oh God.
He had so many chances to...what if he had...
Stop right there, Linda. He didn't.
She blinks and slowly looks around her office.
He's gone.
Her back aches from the tremors that wracked her body while in shock. Releasing a long, halting breath, she blinks again before standing up. Her hands shake as she pours a messy glass of water and sits back down.
Breeeeaaathe, Linda , she counsels herself as she feels a headache coming on.
All those times he said...and it couldn't have been true.
Only it was. Is.
Completely unbecoming? Hardly.
Oh God...Maze really is a demon. "Forged in the bowels of Hell," she said. Not born. Forged. By...Lucifer...that means he's her...
And Amenadiel is a...an angel? But he...lied.
And Lucifer doesn't.
He's the Father of Lies, that can't be true.
Can it?
In spite of herself, she huffs a laugh, Oh the irony. An angel lies his feathered ass off but the Father of Lies doesn't.
Another sip of water. She grabs her phone and speed-dials a number.
"Hey, Linda," a happy male voice greets her over the phone. "A bit late. You okay?"
"Yeah," she croaks, then clears her throat before trying again. "I...um...will be, Ben. Can I...can I come over? I need your help."
A pause, "Of course. No problem. Is this a social call or...?"
"A little bit of both, if that's okay," she interrupts.
She can almost hear him shrug over the phone, "Yeah. I'll get set up."
Linda finishes her glass of water, grabs her purse, then heads to her car. She arrives at her destination in Brentwood and retrieves a gym bag out of the back of her car before approaching the house.
A young Hispanic man of medium build opens the door and gives her a welcoming hug, "Linda, it's been too long! Ben told me you were coming." He backs up and gestures for her to come in.
"Thanks so much, Luis," she forces a smile onto her face and he cocks his head, obviously seeing right through her. Busted.
"That bad?" he asks sympathetically.
She can only nod as tears well and he hugs her again. "Well," he continues, "come on in and get changed. He's already downstairs waiting for you. Be as loud as you need. The kids went down hours ago and they won't hear a thing."
Linda changes in a guest room then heads down to the basement where her friend, Ben, has set up mats, pads and bo sticks. The tall, blonde viking is hanging the work-out bag as she enters the room. He takes one look at her face and pulls her into a bear-hug, "Oh, honey," he croons. "Need some fortification first?"
She shakes her head, "No thanks. I need a clear head for this."
He nods in understanding. "Got it," he continues, "Want me to record so you can make notes later?"
She shakes her head again, "You're sweet, but no. I won't need...notes."
They start moving through breathing exercises and stretches, "Just start talking when you're ready," Ben encourages her.
Linda sighs as she releases a deep breath, "It's about a patient," she begins slowly. She sees him nod in the mirror and continues. "We've been working together for most of the past year and I diagnosed him as post-traumatic and delusional. The stories he would tell...oh my G...I didn't believe them."
Ben makes an understanding sound, "And now?" he asks.
She looks down at the mat as she stretches deeply, enjoying the release of muscle tension, "I found out tonight that it's all been true and I..." she coughs a laugh, "Well, it was mind-blowing. The implications are...well, they're hard to process."
Her friend reaches for her hands and leads her to the mat, "You need some space for now, so let's go no-contact for now, hmmm?"
Linda nods gratefully and they start to move together.
"Tell me about this patient," Ben suggests.
She pauses for a long moment while they establish a rhythm, "He's...well-known. Well, infamous, really. Everybody has heard about him in some fashion."
"That puts a bit of pressure on a guy," Ben comments sympathetically. "You said "infamous," is he dangerous?"
She blinks and swallows hard. The second-most dangerous being in existence.
Ben notices her hesitation and rephrases, "Okay. That's a yes. Is he dangerous to you ?"
Linda looks at him, "No. I mean...I don't think so. I mean, he's had plenty of, um, opportunities and..."
Ben nods with a gentle smile, "He hasn't, right?"
She nods, "Right. Except for once...he's been a perfect gentleman."
"What happened that once?" Ben asks.
"I pushed him too hard and, with the context I have now, his reaction actually shows a rather...um...inhuman level of restraint," she responds quietly.
"Were you in danger?" he asks.
"No!" she answers quickly. "Never even a moment...actually."
Ben nods again as they move closer and begin to engage, "Good. So, tell me more. It's obvious you care a lot about him."
Linda swings at her friend and he easily blocks her, "He acts like a teenager most of the time," she smiles affectionately. "He's so confused about...feelings and I swear sometimes it seems like he intentionally draws the wrong conclusions when I try to direct him."
The tall man grins as he strikes toward her, "Stubborn?"
She laughs, "I think he invented it." She blocks the blow and kicks out, "But he's really sweet. Even if he doesn't know it."
He. Doesn't Know. Linda blinks and stops for a moment.
"You okay?" Ben asks. "Something click?"
She looks at him and gives a quick nod, "Yeah, but something small." She reaches for a staff while he does the same, "Can we do this a little longer?"
He shrugs, "Sure. I told Luis I'll come to bed late and I don't see my first patient until 11 o'clock. No problem." He swings the staff and she blocks, "So, what else doesn't he know?"
Linda ponders the question for a moment before answering. "Well," she begins, "he's extremely charming and quite handsome."
Ben grins, "He probably knows that . Ladies' man?"
She laughs again, "He's...opportunistic."
Her friend's eyebrows go up, intrigued, "Such a shame I'm happily married, then. I should like to meet this patient of yours."
She blushes, "To answer your question, you're right. He never wants for...companionship. He also has a serious substance situation going on."
"What's he into?" Ben asks.
Linda shakes her head as they continue to spar, "Anything and everything. He's got the means, so he sees no reason to limit himself."
"Sounds like quite the hedonist," comes the reply.
She nods absently, "He does, doesn't he? But, the thing is that even with all that going on, he's oddly generous and considerate. As I said earlier - very gentlemanly. I think he doesn't know that, either."
"That he's a gentleman?" Ben asks.
"Sort of. I mean, he's generally very polite and well-spoken but he tends to be blind as to his better qualities," she explains.
"So," Ben says, trying to get the conversation back on track, "You mentioned having a breakthrough moment tonight. Something about discovering his delusions were true. Can you tell me what happened?" He pauses, "I mean, generally, of course. Without violating his privacy."
Not like I could actually tell anyone anyway , Linda thinks to herself. "Sure. So, he's been coming to me for months, always holding true to this elaborate...story. Or what I thought was a story." She swallows hard and looks at the ceiling for a moment, "All those times proceeded on my egotistical belief that he was speaking through a metaphor..."
Ben nods encouragingly, "It's okay, honey. Go on."
"So tonight, he presented...irrefutable evidence that the things he'd been saying were...are...true," Linda reports.
His eyebrows furrow a bit, "What sort of "irrefutable evidence?"
Linda bites her lip and Ben leans forward, "Come on, love. Tell your bestie."
She takes a deep breath and lets it out in a long, shaky exhalation, "Scars," she says. "There were...a lot of scars. Just...horrific things. It broke my heart, Ben. I was..." She stops for a long moment, "shocked out of my mind for a few minutes."
She leans against the staff and stares at the wall, "I've been pushing him and pushing him then, when he finally does The One Thing I've been on him to do, I completely freeze up." Linda sighs heavily as tears fill her eyes, "When I came back to myself, he was gone, but I remember his face. So sad. So ...God, Ben, I really let him down. He opened up like that and I...I literally spaced out from shock."
Her friend frowns, "That must have been horrible, Linda. Are these scars generally visible?"
She shakes her head, "No...he, um...hides them really well" she trails off and looks at the floor. "Dammit. I really screwed up, Ben." She hands him the staff, "I think I should go talk to him."
Ben looks at the clock, "It's after midnight, Linda. Can't it wait until later in the morning?"
Linda gives a small smile, "No, I need to go see him as soon as possible. Besides, he's a bit of a night owl."
After she gets changed and freshens up, Linda gives Ben a kiss on the cheek and a warm hug, "You really are the best friend ever. Thank you so much."
He smiles as he returns the hug, "The pleasure is mine, Linda. Let me know how it goes, okay?"
She nods, "You bet. Now get upstairs before Luis gets mad and refuses to make his wonderful sangria for me any more."
Linda walks briskly out to her car and drives to Lux. She's not surprised the door is locked. As she paces on the sidewalk for a moment, she gets an idea. She grabs her phone and dials before she really thinks.
A sleepy female voice on the end of the line, "Hello?"
"Ella, it's me Linda," the therapist says. "I need your help. One tribe member to another."
"Huh? Whoa..okay," the groggy young woman on the other end responds. "What's up?"
"You said you used to steal cars, right?" Linda asks.
Long pause, "Yeah, but, I mean, that was a long time ago, dude."
Linda nods even though the other woman can't see it, "I know. But can you pick door locks?"
"Sure," Ella answers. "You robbing someplace? Knocking over a liquor store for the next tribe meeting?" She laughs.
Even Linda is amused, "Nothing so interesting. Can you meet me at Lux? I need to get in to see Lucifer..."
"Oooh, man, go for it! Yeah, he looks pretty nice, doesn't he?" Ella smiles into the phone.
"I'm his therapist," Linda cuts her off. "I need to check on him."
Ella sounds more awake now, "No problem. I'll grab my keys and come on over."
"Thanks," Linda responds appreciatively. "Understand, though, that after you get me in, you need to leave."
"Yep. I know how this goes. No problem," Ella answers. The young woman arrives twenty minutes later and gives the doctor a look, "Everything okay with tall, dark and snarky?" she quips.
Linda waves her phone, "He forgot his cell at my office, so can't exactly call him, right?"
Ella shrugs, "Whatever, man." She takes a moment with the lock then pulls it open, "There you go."
Linda sighs heavily, suddenly extremely nervous, "Thanks. We should do girls' night again soon."
The younger woman smiles and walks to her car, "You got it!"
Linda stays put until Ella drives away then slides into the dim club. The usual lights are down but emergency lights remain on. She walks carefully to the balcony at the top of the stairs and looks around.
Lucifer is standing behind the bar and looks up at her. His glass stops before it reaches his lips and Linda feels her knees shaking.
The Devil.
He slowly lowers the glass, his expression one of surprise, then leans forward to put his elbows on the bar so he can watch her descend the stairs.
"Linda," he says softly. "Are you..." he pauses and swallows hard. "Are you alright?"
Satan.
Miraculously, her shaking knees don't send her tumbling down the stairs and she takes a deep breath when she reaches the floor. She offers a nod, "I will be. Later" Another halting step forward.
He arches a brow at her hesitant approach, "Have you brought a pitchfork? Torch, maybe?" he asks quietly.
Prince of Darkness.
A small grin graces her face, "I thought pitchforks were your deal."
He blinks, speechless for a moment. She...cracked a joke . He blinks again then cocks his head as he gives her a wondering look. Lucifer huffs a small laugh then reaches for another glass. He pours then slides it in her direction as an offering.
Father of Lies.
"Lucifer..." she begins quietly as she steps forward. Tears well in her eyes and she looks down.
He feels a twist in his chest, sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry , "Linda...I...
"I'm sorry!" they spout in unison. Two pairs of eyes open wide.
"Bloody Hell," he swears softly then downs his drink.
Samael.
Linda tries to begin again, "You trusted me and I...I rejected you when you needed me. I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am."
He leans forward and narrows his eyes as if to examine her intentions, "You came over here. In the middle of the night, after what is undoubtedly the most shocking thing you'll ever see in your life...to apologize? To ME?" He smirks, "Why? Afraid of me now? Concerned I'll take offense and damn your eternal soul?"
She twitches, "Um, no, actually."
He stands up, "No?"
Linda shakes her head, "I came to apologize because I let you down, Lucifer. You're not just a patient. I consider you a friend and I didn't offer support at a critical moment." She blinks tears away, "THAT is what I'm apologizing for."
Lucifer smiles gently down at her, "You're human, Linda. You can't blame yourself for being quite literally shocked out of your mind." He sighs and pours another glass, "I suppose my approach may have been a little heavy-handed. For that, I should apologize." He raises his glass and encourages her to do the same, "To apologies!" They toast and drink then fall into a long moment of silence.
Finally, the therapist speaks up as she reaches out to touch his hand carefully, "So...you're...real."
He laughs and does a spin behind the bar, then offers a slight bow with a flourish, "Indeed I am, darling."
"Does Detective Decker know?" she asks.
"Oh Father, no!" he replies emphatically. "I've completely lost track of how many times I've told her or the half-arsed attempts at trying to convince her, but she hasn't been to the same private show you received earlier this evening." He sighs, "And, frankly, after your reaction, I'm loathe to do it."
Linda nods and takes a healthy pull from her whiskey, "Understandable." She smiles and cocks her head, "I can help you with that if you're interested."
His eyebrows go up, "Why would I want to do that, Doctor? I rather like her faculties intact."
The therapist chuckles, "You really have no idea, do you?"
He tosses back the remains of his drink and shakes his head, "There's a lot I don't know, darling. Omniscience is my father's bag, remember?"
"You're in love with Chloe," Linda declares.
Lucifer chokes. "Beg pardon?" he asks. "In...love?" He grins wolfishly, "I don't do love, Doctor."
She grins and raises her glass in salute, "And about three months ago, you had no idea what a friend was." She finishes her drink and puts the glass down, "And look at us now."
He scowls for a moment then nods in acceptance, "Touche'." He pours another round, "So, is that how we are to proceed, Doctor? As friends?"
She nods, "I'd like that. I'd like to remain your therapist as well, if you're willing."
Lucifer hands her a refill then sips his own, "I am. Should be quite interesting with you being in the know." He takes a sip, "Same schedule?"
Linda drinks then nods, "Yes, but can you give me a week? I want to go through your file and re-assess my notes."
He flashes a cheeky grin, "Want to take a peek through the lens of your new perspective, darling?"
She huffs a relieved breath and smiles, "Exactly."
His grin grows sinful, "Previous payment terms?"
She shoots him an admonishing look, "No, Lucifer. Tempting as it is, that's wrong."
Lucifer pouts, "Oh, come on."
She tosses back the rest of her drink then hops off the barstool, "You chose to be here, Lucifer. You have to live by our rules. And if I lose my license, I can't be your therapist any more."
He huffs loudly then rolls his eyes before coming from behind the bar, "Fine." His eyes widen and his expression softens as he takes her hand, "I do, however, want to thank you, Linda. For seeking me out. For talking to me. And for being my...friend."
He leans down to give her a peck on the cheek and her arms go around him in a warm hug. Lucifer pauses a moment, unused to contact in this context but he eventually relaxes into her and they remain standing together for a long moment.
Finally, Linda kisses his cheek then steps back. She picks up her purse and smiles at him, "Next appointment, then?"
His smile is brilliant and, for once, seems authentic, "I'll be there come Hell or high water, darling," he says with a wink.