Bras
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, but this is a fan fiction and is on , so that would be kind of obvious, right? It's annoying typing all of these things out. So let's just get it in our heads that I don't own HP.
A/N: One shot, I just wanted to put this on the net, cause I'm sick and twisted. Have fun reading and R&R!
Harry stood in the endless rows of bras, sticking out awkwardly. He shifted his stance onto the other foot, and rubbed his elbow. Hermione came out of the dressing room and handed him a couple of plain black bras.
"What am I supposed to do with these?" he asked, holding them away from his body like they were covered in contagious boils.
"Just hold them you fool." She said as she walked off.
Harry looked around nervously. Everywhere he looked there was a muggel picture of a scantly clad woman, or a sexy plastic manikin, beckoning him to temptation. He looked down at his feet, trying to not be noticed as he stood in the only non-panty filled part of the store. A pair of worn out brown oxfords shuffled up to him and held still. Harry looked up to see his redheaded companion, Ron.
"You to?" he asked, painfully.
"Ginny's first..." He said with shame in his voice. He tried not to stare as a particularly beautiful woman held a corset up to her chest. They stood in excruciating silence until Hermione showed up again.
"Ron," she said, blushing slightly, "what are you doing here?"
"Waiting for Ginny." He said as his sister popped up at the mention of her name.
"I'll help her." Hermione said as the two disappeared behind an angel display.
"Can this get any stranger?" Harry asked as his eyes darted around the painfully pink store.
"Oh it can, and it just did." Ron moaned as Professor Snape walked into the store. The lady he was with walked over to the skimpy black lingerie. Harry almost threw up. Snape joined them in the only guy friendly part of the store.
"Not a word, or I shall have you both in detentions for the rest of your life." He threatened. The boys nodded their heads, and then stood perfectly still, as if they had been petrified by the bascalisk.
For what seemed like hours. They stood in complete silence as their women walked over and handed them things.
"Do you want some gum?" Snape asked holding out a package, he blew an enormously large bubble and then popped it loudly. They boys popped the chewy squares into there mouths and began to chew.
"Did you make this?" Harry asked his professor.
"Yes, actually, though I had some trouble with the ingredients..." he rambled on about the difference between an Arabic man's gum and gum Arabic, " If Weezly would like to raise his meager grade in my class, he is more than welcome to write me an essay on this subject." Snape sneered. Ron blushed.
"Professor Snape." Lucious Malfoy said as he walked into the store, family in tow. Draco ran his hand down the plastic thigh of a manikin. "Don't touch anything." Lucious said as his snake headed cane connected with Draco's shoulder. Draco sulked over to where all the men were standing and stood next to Snape.
"Why doesn't the picture move?" he asked staring at the giant picture of the lingerie-clad angel on the wall. All three men blushed, though Snape actually smiled at the thought of it. His Girlfriend called him over to the dressing room, and in a billow of robes he disappeared into the small room. Ron gagged himself, while Malfoy looked jealous, and Hermione handed Harry three more bras.
"What's the matter mud blood? Magic bras not good enough for you?" Draco sneered.
"Well they don't seem to be good enough for your mom ether." She said back coolly.
"Look, they give her the support she needs!" he defended his mother, on the brink of tears.
Snape walked out of the dressing room, blushing and fixing his hair at the same time. He grabbed Draco's shoulder and glared at Hermione.
"We don't want to be making a scene." He said, scaring the wits out of both of them. Hermione grabbed her bras and joined Ginny up at the register to pay for them. Snape's lady friend came out of the stall and walked past them. Snape walked away with her.
"But, she's so YOUNG! How did HE get a chick that HOT?" Ron whimpered, obviously disgusted. Harry made gagging noises as Malfoy shook his head.
"Harry, this is rather awkward, let's go." Said Ron as Harry nodded in agreement.
"I don't bloody see how this can get... oh my god." Harry stopped short. In the corner near the maternity bras stood a tall black robed figure. The man turned his face to reveal glowing red eyes and a snakelike nose.
"V-v-v-v-oldemort?" Ron stuttered, freezing in his steps. Lucious heard the name and bowed down instantly to his master. Snape stared, then tried to hide his face with the bag he was holding.
"Peter, we must away!" The Dark Lord hissed as he threw the bra at Harry's head and flew out of the store.
"EEWE! Dark magic maternity bra!" Harry screamed as he batted the evil thing away. Malfoy laughed as his father dragged him out of the store.
"All I'm wondering is why did Voldemort need a maternity bra?" Ron asked, watching Harry stomp the bra into oblivion.
"Beats me." Shrugged Hermione, "Let's go get pretzels."