Disclaimer: I don't own them, I just screw with their heads. :3 What can I say? It's cathartic.
Written for mercale, long overdue. Sorry 'bout that. XD I stink at deadlines.
There was cheesecake in the refrigerator when Vincent returned. Small, almost petite, with large curled chocolate shavings and cherries smothering the surface and dripping off the edges- he stared at it for several seconds before Reeve nudged past him to grab the milk. "I thought you didn't like cheesecake," he mused.
"… it's not for us." Reeve poured himself a glass, eyes shadowed by a sudden grief. "I ordered Wutai for dinner. You don't mind, do you?"
Vincent put the milk away and closed the door. "It's fine," he replied. "But… who is this for?"
He didn't get an answer.
The next day Reeve came home carrying a shopping bag with the name of a toy store scrawled across it. Inside was an oversized orange ball with cartoon chocobos printed around the edges. "… This is a bit big for the cats to play with, isn't it?" he asked, one eyebrow raised.
"It's… not for them," Reeve replied, voice soft and weary and somehow ancient. He slipped the bag back behind his office chair and sat, hunched over his work as if it were a lifeline. Vincent made a questioning noise. "I'll… I'll tell you later. Promise."
Reeve never did.
The cheesecake was missing and the ball gone when Vincent awoke the next day. On Reeve's desk was a note- 'Gone. Back later.'
Vincent found him at the fringe of the cemetery, a sobbing woman in his arms. They spoke for a few long minutes before she walked away; he slipped up behind Reeve and laid a hand on his shoulder. The cake and the ball were placed neatly in front of a clean marble headstone. Crimson eyes traced the lines in sudden understanding. "This is…."
"Ryan Tuesti." Reeve smiled through his tears, leaning slightly into Vincent's chest. "My son."
"We were never really in love," he began, sitting pensively beside the grave with his knees drawn up to his chest. "Lust, I suppose. Friends with benefits. We were both young and foolish and feeling invulnerable. When we found out she was pregnant, I offered to marry her. She laughed in my face."
Vincent raised an eyebrow. "Not like that," Reeve said, a vague smile on his lips. "She knew I was doing it out of duty, not love. She didn't want that… but we both wanted the child. I paid for her doctor visits, I watched the ultrasounds, and I even cut his umbilical cord when he was born. Full head of hair- blonde like hers, curly like mine- and started squalling before the doctor could even think of swatting his bottom. I wish you could have seen him. He was perfect. Perfect.
"I tried to be the father he needed. For the first three years I was there almost every day. I held, I fed him, I changed his diapers… he peed on me and spit up on me and kept me up nights crying and colicky and I loved every minute of it." Warm leather-clad fingers brushed the dampness from his face. He reached up, taking Vincent's hand and holding it loosely as the vague smile disappeared into a shamed frown. "But as much as I loved him…."
"… what?" He squeezed his lover's hand briefly, crimson eyes flickering in sympathetic pain.
"I can't say I wouldn't have given up the world for him," he finally said, "because I did. When Shinra promoted me to head of Urban Development… I let the job consume me. Days turned into weeks… weeks turned into months… soon I was only seeing Ryan maybe every other month if I was lucky. I wrote to them every week, or at least tried to; I wanted to make sure I didn't miss a thing." He scoffed. "I missed his first day of school to sign a contract. I missed his first baseball game to attend one of President Shinra's formal dinners. I was missing out on everything I'd hoped to see, and yet…." He broke off, rubbing at his eyes. "You know… I designed Cait Sith off one of his first drawings? I still have it. He did it for me in second grade… a big awkward cat with a superhero cape and SOLDIER boots, out to conquer the world." He gave a hiccuping laugh, fresh tears welling in the corners of his eyes. "I provided for them. I bought her a house on top of the plates, got him into the best schools, paid for the best medical care available, made sure he had the best of everything, but… I couldn't give him what I wanted. What he needed, what he deserved to have. A father."
The older man tucked his head down behind the collar of his cloak, still keeping a firm grip on one of Reeve's hands. "When the Sector 7 plate fell, I knew things were going to get worse… so I sent them out to my old home in Kalm. I'd hoped it wouldn't last long, but then- well, you know this part of the story. Everything fell apart so quickly and… I was so busy playing traitor that I barely even thought about them until it was too late."
Vincent was silent.
Mindlessly he lifted up the ball and rolled it across the grass. "I didn't find out until almost a week later that… he'd died when Meteor fell. Three days before his birthday- when Cloud told us to… find our reason to fight- I went to see him. He was so excited to see me… you should have seen him. Even with the world coming to an end, he was… happy. I bought him a cheesecake for his birthday. It was tradition- I ate the crust and the chocolate, and Ryan took the filling and we play-fought over the cherries and-" Reeve's voice cracked. Vincent caught the ball before it could roll away. "He was my son, Vincent, my son, and I- "
Vincent caught him up into an embrace before the tears hit, and he sobbed, fists pounding uselessly against the hard, leather-clad chest. "I was his father! I should have been able to… I should have protected him… he was so young…." A gloved hand ran through his hair in a soothing gesture; firm cold claws held his back gingerly. "It… Sometimes… I still think this is… my punishment. For helping Shinra go so far, for not standing up to them. I failed him… he was my son and I failed him-"
"Reeve-" The name was said in a firm, clipped tone; the arms around him, however, tightened protectively. He tucked the other man's head underneath his chin, keeping him close.
He trembled in the embrace. Hot tears soaked the rough red fabric down to the skin. "Why did it have to be him? Why did it have to be my son? Did he even know how much I… I loved him, Vincent, and I wasn't… I couldn't…."
Vincent fell silent for a moment, as if choosing his next words carefully. "A parent can be with their child physically… and not be there emotionally. We're all human, Reeve… none of us are infallible. We have to try to do the best we can. You loved him. That's the greatest gift you could have given him. A child raised without the security of knowing a father that loves him-" He didn't have to finish. Without love, without care… giving a child that sort of life had nearly brought the Planet to her knees. He sighed and stroked his wavy hair again, letting the storm pass.
"I'm sorry," Reeve finally murmured after several long moments. He managed to sit back up, rubbing awkwardly at red-rimmed eyes still swollen and filled with tears. "Ryan would have been thirteen today, you know? I used to dream about what he would be like as he grew and now-" He reached out and put a hand on the cold marble slab in an almost caressing gesture. "I guess they always will be dreams now, won't they?"
"… maybe so, but… dreams can be shared." Vincent handed the now-muddy ball back to Reeve, a small, sad smile tugging at his lips. "You still have pictures. You still have memories. You still love him. He's not gone forever if you still have those… so let me see Ryan as he was. Let me meet your son."
Reeve set the ball back by the grave and stepped away from it, looking down thoughtfully. The sun was still shining; the chocolate on the cheesecake was slowly melting. He snitched a piece of it off and smiled, glancing back up at Vincent and taking his hand as they began the walk back to his car. "I hope you're ready for a long story," he said softly.
"It's all right. We have all the time in the world to get acquainted."