A/N – (I don't own twilight or the characters in any way. All credit goes to Stephanie Meyers)

Hell.

Esme's P.O.V.

Death is peaceful. I let the blackness consume me. No more hurt, no more pain. I'd be with my boy for eternity. Just me and him. I was numb, nothing could hurt me now. I welcomed it with open arms.

I didn't know what sort of commotion I would cause. I wondered if people would even recognise me, or if my mangled body was beyond identification. I heard them then. 2 voices blurred by the sea around me.

"She was a beautiful thing. Such a shame it ended this way. She had so much opportunity."

"How'd you know her?"

"She taught my little Timothy. You know, Ms Platt."

"Oh yes, I heard she was very good, a wonder with the children".

I felt a pull on both my arms. I was being lifted out the water. Suddenly a pain shot up my body sending spasms all over me. It hurt so much, but there was little I could do. I couldn't scream physically, but mentally I was being torn apart.

"What are we going to do with her Pete?

"She's already dead."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. There's no pulse"

"Let's just take her to the hospital. They'll take her from there." I wanted to scream! To do something. Show that I was alive!

I wanted it to be over. People told me death was peaceful. Short. They were wrong. I could feel every nerve in my body. The spasms of pain and no sign of release. Was God punishing me? He must be. I'd committed a sin, took my own life. This was the punishment he gave me. This punishment for failing my son, my family and myself. Hadn't he put me through enough? Was before just a practice run?

Please just let me go. I beg for release. Just let me be with my Son so we can live in peace. Please? My begging did me no good. I was still here. I felt the pain shoot up my spine. I was being moved again but now there were different voices. Unfamiliar voices.

"Thank you gentlemen. We'll take her from here."

"Thank you Doctor. Just one thing. Can you be gentle with her? She was a dear friend of my wife and an important person in my Son's life."

"Of course Matthew. Thank you again."

"God, Dr. Low, what happened?" I recognised that voice.

"It's believed she fell – well – jumped off that cliff looking over Lake Superior.

"Why?" It couldn't be.

"I'm not sure. All I know was that she was widowed, her Husband was killed in the great war and she was pregnant. I heard she lost the child not long after it was born."

"That's terrible." Maybe I was hallucinating, it couldn't be him. Not after so many years apart.

"Yes, it is, but there's nothing we can do for her. She's already gone, I was about to take her to the morgue , but now I think about it, could you do it instead? I have a patient I need to attend to, and it looks like your shift is about to end. Is it not?"

"Yes, of course, Dr. Low. I'll take her form here. Goodbye." I heard footsteps, and then I was moving. We came to an abrupt stop and I felt a gentle hand brush my cheek. Slowly I was fading, I was getting colder every minute but I didn't care.

"Why? You were so young. You could've moved on. Look at the opportunity you had. Oh, Esme. It's such a waste. How did it end this way? Esme..." It was him. The doctor from so many years ago. My angel. Dr. Carlisle Cullen.

I suddenly found my voice.

"Dr. C-Cullen?" It hurt so much everything I did killed me but I wasn't going to waste this chance. To speak with my Angel one last time. I forced my eyelids open. He was there leaning over me, so close I could feel his icy breath on my face. His golden eyes looking deep into my soul. He stroked my cheek again.

"Esme?"

"C-Carlisle? I-I..."

"Shhhh" He kissed the top of my head and I was comforted, knowing he would be with me when I go. I felt a small smile on my lips.

"Thank you"

"For what?" I knew that was coming.

"Being here." My eyelids were drooping. I was losing consciousness but I knew he wouldn't go anywhere.

"Please, Esme, stay with me." I couldn't, not for much longer. I could hear the hurt in his voice and it hurt me too. I was surprised about that. The connection I felt.

"I'm sorry...Goodbye, Dr. Cullen..." It came out in a whisper. My eyes closed shut and I was fading. Finally.

"NO!" I won't let this happen!" He was angry, if I was still capable I would've flinched. Jumped a mile. "I won't let this happen to you. It's too much waste."

I don't know what he was talking about. He couldn't save me now, no-one could.

"I'll save you Esme. I can't lose you again. I'm so sorry this is the only way to save you. If there was another option, believe me I'd take it, but there isn't. I'm so, so sorry. You'll be in so much pain and you'll probably hate me. I'll never forgive myself. Believe me, I never forgot you Esme Anne Platt. Stay with me...please."

I his icy lips press down own my neck, like he was arguing with himself. Then I felt it. The sharpness cutting into my neck, my ankles and my wrists. What was he doing to me? There was a fire rising from deep inside of me. I felt his arms lock around my body and I was flying, so fast it wasn't possible. It wasn't natural. The fire was growing stronger every second and it burned.

I heard angry voices, shouting.

"What was the point Carlisle? She was dying anyway. Couldn't you of just let her go? Thousands of people die every day, she was just one more!"

"Edward I couldn't of just left her. If you knew... you don't understand."

You're right Carlisle I don't! I don't understand this...connection with her. She's human for crying out loud! You know how risky relationships are. How could you be so selfish?"

"You're right. I am selfish. I'm doing this for me."

Then it was silent. You could hear a pin drop. The fire burned brighter within my body. The pain I suffered before was nothing compared to this. I would take child birth over this, a thousand times over if I could. I would even take my husband's beatings over this.

"AGHHHH!" I couldn't hold the scream in any longer. I was burning. Everything was burning, my feet, my face, my legs. The flames licked, taunted my body. "Please just make it STOP! Kill me PLEASE! ANYTHING! Just make the pain STOP!" This was my punishment. I hadn't made it to heaven. God didn't forgive me. I committed a sin, took my own life. I did all of this to see my son. I gave up. I did all of this and I still failed. What did it take to end the suffering? Through all this pain I knew only two things. One: I would NEVER see my son again, and two: I was in Hell.

"I'm sorry. So sorry. Just a couple more hours and it'll stop. I promise. Please...I-I'm sorry" How could he be blaming himself for this? This was my fault. I brought this down on myself, it wasn't his fault, not at all. I trusted him. Just a couple more hours and the pain will stop.

"AGHHHH!" Another wave of pain rolled through my body. They were getting stronger and stronger. Tears rolled down my cheeks and he brushed them away.

"Sorry." He made a broken sort of choked sound. Please don't cry. I'm coping because you're here. Please, stay strong, for me. I need you. Then it hit me. The realization that I couldn't be in hell. If he was here then I couldn't. A man as good and generous as him couldn't be in hell. He was an angel, not a monster.

"She knows your there." It was that voice again.

"She does?" Of course I did, didn't he know I could feel his hand in mine?

"Yes. She needs you to stay strong Carlisle. She's coping because you are. The pain's fading, just keep talking to her. She needs you right now." He was right the pain was fading, gradually, from my finger tips and toes. I could concentrate more easily, focus on Carlisle.

"Soon Carlisle. She's nearing the end." Suddenly the only sound that filled the room was the beating of my heart. The fire rushed towards the centre of my being. I didn't believe the fire could get any hotter, but I was wrong. It was like a furnace. My heart was battling with the poison that attacked my body. Ba-boom ba-boom ba-boom. My heart was slowing, spluttering. Ba-ba-boom ba-boom-ba ba-boom. My heart was losing. No, not just losing, it was exploding! The most important organ – my key to living – was being ripped from my body. It made one more sickening, spluttering jolt and then there was silence.

I opened my eyes to the God from my dreams. Carlisle. His eyes full of concern.

"Esme?"

A/N – OK, This chapter didn't turn out as well as I had expected. Anyways, if you have time, please review. Thanks .