Links to original prompt and fill can be found in my profile. That'll be pretty standard for everything I post here, really.
Gilbert had never in his life believed there was such a thing as being too awesome. That would just be silly. He was the most awesome person in the world, after all, and if there was such a thing as too awesome, that meant he was less awesome than he thought.
At the moment, he was seriously beginning to rethink that line of reasoning.
If there was such a thing as being too awesome, one of the symptoms of it had to be being chased through the city by uncountable throngs of screaming teenage girls. Because that was exactly what was happening to poor Gilbert at the moment, and if anyone was too awesome, It was him.
So maybe he was too awesome. Not like he could help it.
But back to the throngs of screaming teenage girls. They were gaining on him.
He swerved sideways, figuring he had to be awesome enough to know Berlin better than they did, and jumped a fence, cut through a few yards, clamored up a building and into someone's bedroom, took the time to compliment the occupant on her choice of lingerie, accepted the smack that sent him flying two blocks south with a thank you, cut across the park, and jumped into a tree just before the hordes came into sight again.
Why, yes, he was the most badass being in Creation. Thank you for noticing.
It took almost ten minutes for the crowd to pass his hiding spot and disappear back into the streets. Once he was sure they were gone, he dropped to the ground and dusted a few stray leaves off his uniform. Once he was his presentable and devilishly handsome self again, he started for home.
And ran straight into the stragglers.
They were mostly out of shape and already winded, so he did manage to stay ahead of them pretty easily until he spotted Francis.
The sight of Francis seemed to act like some kind of energy boost- the screaming got louder, they picked up speed, and they seemed to multiply by eight in the split second he stared at them before taking off again.
The scream must have been some kind of signal, though, because they hadn't run more than a couple blocks before the street ahead of them flooded with the same horde from earlier, the ones he'd given the slip in the park.
"Mon Dieu, these fangirls cannot seem to ever be satisfied." Francis said with a sigh, pausing to fix his hair.
"You know these freaks?" Gilbert demanded, somehow not surprised. "Don't tell me you've screwed 'em all!"
Francis waved his hand dismissively. "Don't be silly, mon cher." He said. "I have simply dealt with their kind before. Shall we even the odds in our favor?"
Next thing Gilbert knew, Francis had grabbed his shirt and pulled him into a kiss. And not just a friendly playful kiss, but a full-blown face-sucking spit-swapping passionate French kiss. There was the sound of a lot of things hitting the ground, and when Francis let him breathe again, about two thirds of the teenagers were lying on the ground, out cold. The remaining third were staring at them in open horror, and one of the closest ones was in tears, clutching a sheaf of papers.
"H-how could you, Prussia?" She demanded in a heartbroken voice. "You love West, right? This is just a phase you're going through, or that dirty French bastard is seducing you! Your heart belongs to Ludwig, doesn't it?"
While Gilbert was standing there trying to form some coherent reply that didn't use the word 'fuck' seventeen times, Francis threw an arm around him and laughed.
"But of course, ma petite!" He exclaimed cheerfully. "Monsieur Gilbert cannot help himself. Rest assured, however, when Monsieur Ludwig hears of this, he shall... how do you say... punish him. Thoroughly."
This time Gilbert got to see half the remaining fangirls squeal and collapse in ecstasy. It was a pretty amazing sight.
That left one sixth of the original horde, who were too busy raiding the bodies of their fallen comrades for fanart and meme fills to notice the two very quietly make their way into an alley and slip off towards Ludwig's house. Poor West needed to be warned about this.