Disclaimer: I don't own anything but my meager collection of Harry Potter
books!! So sad!!! NOT.
IF YOU CANNOT DEAL WITH EVERYONE BEING STUPID, DO NOT READ!
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Hagrid: Now, Ermione an' Ron. Time ter take yers to see Grawpy.
WARNING: EVERYONE IS INSANE!! GRAWP X RON, RON X PIGWIDGEON!
Hermione: What about Harry? Ron: He has the chicken pox remember? And Madame Pomfrey is in the Bahamas so he's gonna suffer.
Hagrid: Well, er anyways *leads Ron and Hermione to Grawp*
Grawp: HAGGY! *hugs Hagrid*
Hagrid: I'd like yer ta meet some friends: Ron and Hermione *points to Ron and Hermione*
Grawp: RON! *starts licking Ron's cheek*
Hagrid: Tha' means he wants yer ta be his mate.
Hermione: WHAT?! NOOOO!
Hagrid: NO! Shhh! The only way ta make Grawpy happy is to git rid of his bride!
Hermione: Ron?
Hagrid: Yeah.
Hermione: I have a plan. We'll use......................................................................... ..... ............................................................................ .................................................... CHOCOLATE! MUAHAHAHAHHAHA!
Hagrid: and cocoa!! Muahahah!
Crabbe: *appears out of nowhere* Well, technically, Ron's greatest fear is spiders so you should use that to scare the living hell out of him.
Hermione: Honestly, chocolate is better!
Hagrid: Where will we git it?
Hermione: I'll think about it during dinner.
During dinner..............
Hermione: This chocolate cake is delicious! And the chocolate pudding is great! Mmm, such wonderful Honeyduke's chocolate. Wait a second, I shouldn't be pigging out!! I have to find out how to get chocolate!
Malfoy: *appears out of nowhere* Hey, Hermione, got any shaving cream? I got this new razor! It gives me an urge to shave my tongue!
Crabbe: You don't have hair on your tongue. What makes you think this will work?
Malfoy: YES!! *puts razor on tongue*
Crabbe: Moron. If Goyle didn't already pass his NEWTs, he'd be here to help me put a muzzle on Malfoy.
Hermione: Oh wait, there's chocolate for dinner! I must make a plot on how I can steal it and go unnoticed.
Dumbledore: BEER! WINE!! ALCOHOL! *drinks a lot of beer*
Hermione: Dumbledore knows what I am up to! NOOO! *jumps out of window*
Dumbledore: HOLD ON LITTLE GIRL!! I'LL SAVE YOU!! *jumps out of window as a desperate attempt to save Hermione*
Ron: *to Pigwidgeon* You, me, Saturday night. *winks*
Pigwidgeon: *confused _expression* Hoot hoot.
Grawp: *appears out of nowhere* *angry _expression*
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I know, everyone is stupid and out of character. If you are the type of insane person like me who enjoys stupidity, continue reading. There's more stupidity where that came from. BUT IF YOU ARE OFFENDED EASILY BY GUY X GUY OR STUPIDITY, DO NOT READ THIS!!!
**************************************************************************** *********************
Hagrid: Now, Ermione an' Ron. Time ter take yers to see Grawpy.
WARNING: EVERYONE IS INSANE!! GRAWP X RON, RON X PIGWIDGEON!
Hermione: What about Harry? Ron: He has the chicken pox remember? And Madame Pomfrey is in the Bahamas so he's gonna suffer.
Hagrid: Well, er anyways *leads Ron and Hermione to Grawp*
Grawp: HAGGY! *hugs Hagrid*
Hagrid: I'd like yer ta meet some friends: Ron and Hermione *points to Ron and Hermione*
Grawp: RON! *starts licking Ron's cheek*
Hagrid: Tha' means he wants yer ta be his mate.
Hermione: WHAT?! NOOOO!
Hagrid: NO! Shhh! The only way ta make Grawpy happy is to git rid of his bride!
Hermione: Ron?
Hagrid: Yeah.
Hermione: I have a plan. We'll use......................................................................... ..... ............................................................................ .................................................... CHOCOLATE! MUAHAHAHAHHAHA!
Hagrid: and cocoa!! Muahahah!
Crabbe: *appears out of nowhere* Well, technically, Ron's greatest fear is spiders so you should use that to scare the living hell out of him.
Hermione: Honestly, chocolate is better!
Hagrid: Where will we git it?
Hermione: I'll think about it during dinner.
During dinner..............
Hermione: This chocolate cake is delicious! And the chocolate pudding is great! Mmm, such wonderful Honeyduke's chocolate. Wait a second, I shouldn't be pigging out!! I have to find out how to get chocolate!
Malfoy: *appears out of nowhere* Hey, Hermione, got any shaving cream? I got this new razor! It gives me an urge to shave my tongue!
Crabbe: You don't have hair on your tongue. What makes you think this will work?
Malfoy: YES!! *puts razor on tongue*
Crabbe: Moron. If Goyle didn't already pass his NEWTs, he'd be here to help me put a muzzle on Malfoy.
Hermione: Oh wait, there's chocolate for dinner! I must make a plot on how I can steal it and go unnoticed.
Dumbledore: BEER! WINE!! ALCOHOL! *drinks a lot of beer*
Hermione: Dumbledore knows what I am up to! NOOO! *jumps out of window*
Dumbledore: HOLD ON LITTLE GIRL!! I'LL SAVE YOU!! *jumps out of window as a desperate attempt to save Hermione*
Ron: *to Pigwidgeon* You, me, Saturday night. *winks*
Pigwidgeon: *confused _expression* Hoot hoot.
Grawp: *appears out of nowhere* *angry _expression*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I know, everyone is stupid and out of character. If you are the type of insane person like me who enjoys stupidity, continue reading. There's more stupidity where that came from. BUT IF YOU ARE OFFENDED EASILY BY GUY X GUY OR STUPIDITY, DO NOT READ THIS!!!