Repercussions
Disclaimer—Don't own anything, just taking a long-overdue playdate.
Summary: Hawke comforts Caitlin after she kills someone the first time.
A/N: For a time frame, this little story will occur two or three days after the S3 episode Horn of Plenty. A one-shot. Italics indicate a dream sequence. Enjoy!-Robert
It was just another normal day at Santini Air, which found String, Dom, Saint John, and Caitlin sitting in front of the hangar and talking.
"Business has really been down lately," Dom grumbled, "and I'm worried."
"Must be the time of year," Caitlin said, trying to lighten the mood. "Things'll get better, Dom, I'm sure of it." She smiled at him, and was relieved when Dom returned her smile.
"Thanks, Cait," Dom replied, reaching over and giving her hand a friendly squeeze. Just then, Dom saw the FIRM's limousine coming toward the hangar. "Aw, no. What does Whitey want?"
"Only one way to find out, Dom," Hawke replied as the foursome stood up.
"Hey, little brother, you want me to go into the office?" Saint John asked.
"Nah, Sinj. Michael's people were the ones who found you and told you to come home, after all, and you know about the Lady." Saint John smiled as he recalled how, a few weeks after he came home from duty with a Special Operations Group, String had introduced him to Airwolf.
"Okay," Saint John said, smiling at String.
The limousine pulled up in front of the hangar and Marella stepped out to open the rear door. Michael stepped out a moment later, looking grim.
"Hello everyone," Michael said. "I felt like I had to come out here to tell you all something."
"Where are you sending us this time, Michael?" String demanded.
"Nowhere," Michael said, staring into Hawke's steel-blue eyes with his one good one. "This isn't a mission. I—I just came from the hospital."
"The hospital?" Dom echoed. "You're not gonna die on us, are you?" Michael smiled at what he perceived to be the hope in Dom's voice.
"Actually, Dom, I had my yearly physical just last week, and I'm very sorry to disappoint you, but the doctor at Foxbridge informed me that I'm in perfect health. No, this actually concerns something that happened when you and Caitlin rescued Stringfellow from Horn."
Oh, please, no, Caitlin thought anxiously. She remembered shooting the guard just before she opened Dom's cell door. God, please tell me what I'm thinking isn't true!
"What's going on, Michael?" String demanded.
"Well, Stringfellow, you probably don't know this, but Caitlin was forced to shoot one of Horn's guards just before she rescued Dom. When our team went into the compound, we found the guard barely alive, and we transported him to Kensington Memorial. I went there this morning to question that guard, but the doctor told me he died from the gunshot wound early this morning." Hawke heard Caitlin gasp beside him, and quickly moved to comfort her.
"You're sure, Michael?" Dom demanded. "And you're sure Cait shooting him is what killed him?"
"Yes, on both counts," Marella responded, handing over a folder. "This is a copy of the autopsy report, and it clearly states that the cause of death was a pair of gunshot wounds to the chest."
God in Heaven! Caitlin thought. I didn't try to kill him! I just wanted to make sure he couldn't stop me from rescuing Dom. What's gonna happen to me? She fought to keep the tears out of her eyes, but knew she'd failed, miserably.
"Caitlin, the FIRM won't take any action against you for what happened," Michael said, surprising her. "We know that your shooting that guard was necessary. If you hadn't shot at him, he probably would have stopped you from rescuing Dom, and eventually, Horn would have been able to use you and Dom to get all of you, along with Airwolf, under his control permanently. It was the only thing you could do. I'm sure that everyone was so busy trying to stop Hawke that they didn't notice a lone guard lying in front of the cell, injured—they probably thought he'd been hurt in the attack itself."
"Thanks, Michael. I-I just can't believe he's dead. I mean, I didn't try to kill him, just slow him down so he couldn't stop me from rescuing Dom." She stopped as her emotions overtook her, and Hawke turned her away from Dom and Michael. "It's okay, Cait," he said, pulling her into a friendly embrace. A few moments later, he said, "Look, why don't you go back into the office and try to calm down. I'll be there in a few minutes, okay?"
"Okay, Hawke. And, thanks."
"Anytime, Cait," Hawke gave Caitlin a gentle kiss on the cheek, and Caitlin forced a weak smile at Hawke before she walked away.
"She's really takin' this hard," Dom said.
"Surely she believed that the FIRM won't take any action against her?" Michael asked.
"I think so," Hawke replied, "but I'm wondering if there isn't something else going on here."
"Well," Marella said, "if you think professional help might be necessary, I know the name of a good psychiatrist, and"—Hawke interrupted her, somewhat rudely.
"Thank you, and we'll keep that in mind. And, I'm sorry for being rude just now."
"It's okay, Hawke. I'm kinda used to it from you," Marella replied, smiling at him.
"Anyway," Michael said, "we need to get going, but we'll talk soon. Saint John, it's good to see you again, too. I just wish the circumstances were different."
"Same here, Michael," Saint John replied. Michael smiled at String, Saint John, and Dom, then he and Marella climbed back into the limousine and left.
"What happened, anyway?" Saint John asked. He'd heard the basics about how String had been kidnapped by John Bradford Horn, but not many of the details.
"Cait was comin' to get me out of the cell at Horn's bunker," Dom said, "but a guard stopped her just before she could open the door, and she had to shoot him."
"Wow," Saint John said, glancing back toward the office. "No wonder she's upset, after what Michael said. String, you take care of her, okay?"
"I'll try, Sinj." String looked worriedly back toward the office door. But I've gotta figure out what's wrong with her first, without upsetting her even more, he thought.
String walked into the hangar and back into the office, worried about Caitlin. He found her sitting on the floor in one corner of the office, her knees pulled to her chest, crying uncontrollably. Dom stopped Hawke before they could walk into the office.
"String," he said, turning away from the office and closing the door, "like Sinj said, you take care of her. She's hurtin', real bad."
"You think I don't know that, Dom? I just wonder why she's taking this so hard." Just then, the office door opened and Caitlin walked out, dabbing at her eyes.
"Sorry about that, guys," she said, "I-I just can't believe this."
Hawke put his arm around Caitlin. "I know, Cait. Listen, why don't I take you up to the cabin, and we can talk about it?"
Caitlin thought for a moment, then looked up at Hawke, smiled, and said, "I-I think I'd like that, Hawke."
"Well," Dom said, "you guys go ahead and get outta here. Sinj, Toni, and I can handle closing things down. And, take all the time you need." He gestured around the empty hangar. "It's not like we're real busy around here anyway."
"Thanks, Dom," Hawke said.
"Yeah, Dom. Thanks," Caitlin said, forcing a smile at him.
"Anytime," Dom said. Hawke and Caitlin turned and walked over to a chopper, and a few moments later, they were in the air on the way to the cabin.
"Hawke?"
"Yeah, Cait?"
"Thanks." Caitlin glanced over at him, and he caught the anxiety in her eyes. "I-I didn't want to be alone, after what Michael said."
"I know, Cait." Now I know there's more going on than meets the eye, Hawke thought, but I'm not going to push Cait. She'll tell me about it when she's ready. In the meantime, I'm just going to be here for her, like I always have been. The rest of the flight passed in silence, and shortly, they were at Hawke's cabin. Hawke quickly built a fire and fixed himself and Caitlin a glass of wine. When he came back from behind the bar, Hawke smiled when he saw Caitlin curled up against one end of the sofa. "You look right at home," he said as he handed her a glass, and Caitlin smiled thinly as she accepted it and watched Hawke sit down. They sat and sipped their wine in silence for a few moments, then Caitlin said, "I've never done that before."
"Done what, Cait?"
"Shot and killed anybody. That guard was-was the first person I ever killed. I mean, I was on automatic when I shot him, 'cause I knew I had to; but when Michael told us he was dead, I just..." Caitlin's voice trailed off into sobs again, and she set her wine glass down on the table.
Not knowing what else to do, Hawke set his wine glass down on the table and pulled Caitlin gently into his arms, resting her head on his shoulder. He felt her arms slide around his neck, and he gently rubbed her back. "It's okay, Cait," he murmured in what he hoped was a soothing tone, "it's gonna be okay." Hawke felt her body shake with her sobs, and he wondered if there was anything else he could do to comfort her. 'Cause I hate when she's hurting like this, and if there's anything I can do to take some of this pain away, I'll do it, he thought. But, at least I understand why she reacted the way she did. It makes perfect sense, knowing that guard was the first person she ever killed.
After a few minutes, Caitlin pulled back, wiping her eyes. "Sorry about that, String. I mean, I know when I'm on an Airwolf mission, there's always the chance that I might have to kill somebody, and I've seen you kill enough people, but I-I never thought it'd hit me this hard if I ever had to do it myself."
"You never killed anybody when you were a cop?"
Caitlin smiled in spite of the situation. "Heck, no. Flyin' meter maids don't get in on much of the action, and the few times I was on dangerous cases, I didn't actually have to shoot anybody. That day at Horn's compound was—was the first time."
"I understand, Cait," Hawke replied, then stood up and moved into the kitchen to start dinner. A few minutes later, he came back, after putting two trout in the oven.
"Cait, there's something we need to talk about. What are we gonna do about the...arrangements?"
"What—? Oh. Um, String, I-I really don't want to sleep alone. Would-would you stay with me? At least tonight?"
"Cait? Are you sure?"
"Yeah, String. I'm sure. I-I don't want to be alone tonight. And, I trust you. I trust you with my life, just like you and Dom do with me. So, I'm not worried." At least, not worried about you. Now about me, that's another story entirely, she thought, knowing she'd been fighting an attraction to Hawke for a very long time. That's why I told Dom what I did, she thought, remembering how she had said, "Dom, don't do that to me. I care about him, too, y'know. Probably more than you know." I meant that I love String, she thought, and not just like a good friend. I've been in love with him ever since I met him.
"Okay, Cait." Hawke stood up and walked back into the kitchen to check on dinner. "Dinner's ready," he said a moment later. Caitlin smiled and stood up, slipping her arm around Hawke's waist. They walked to the dining room table, and Hawke pulled a chair out for Caitlin. "Thanks, String," she said, smiling as she sat down, then watched Hawke take a chair across from her.
"Smells great." Caitlin enthusiastically dug into her dinner. A few moments later, she said, "M mm, this is great. Why didn't you ever tell me you could cook?"
"You never asked." Hawke smiled at Caitlin, and she knew he was telling the truth. 'Cause Dom usually cooks when we're here after a mission, she thought, glancing over at Hawke.
"I guess there's a lot more to you than meets the eye." Caitlin smiled at him, an honest, friendly smile, which Hawke readily returned.
"It's good to see you smile, Cait," Hawke said, reaching across the table and giving her hand a friendly squeeze. "Like I told you before, it's gonna be okay."
"I sure hope so. By the way, thanks. For everything."
"Any time, Cait. I'd do anything for you, you know that, right?"
Really? Anything? Caitlin thought, suddenly feeling a combination of excitement and anxiety. "Actually, I didn't know that. And I-I feel the same way about you, String."
"Now I know you're upset, Cait. That's four times you've called me 'String,' and that's not like you at all. You've called me 'Hawke' ever since I've known you."
"Somethin' wrong with that?"
"Nah. 'String' is my first name, y'know. I-I actually kinda like hearing you say it."
"Well, I've always loved hearing you say my name, String. I wish you'd say it more often."
That's five. I wonder if she even knows she's doing it, Hawke thought. "Caitlin, is there something you're not telling me?"
"Um, maybe," Caitlin replied. Uh-oh, she thought as she dug back into her dinner, I think I said too much as it is.
What is going on with her? Hawke wondered as they finished eating. I get the feeling there's a lot more going on here than meets the eye. He glanced at Caitlin a few times, wondering what her expression meant. Finally, he stood up and took Caitlin's plate. Caitlin stood up and walked over to the sink with him.
"Hey, I think I can handle the dishes, String," she said, smiling at him as she stuck the plug into the sink and turned the faucet on. Besides, the unwritten rule around here is that the person who cooks doesn't do the dishes, she thought as she filled the sink with soap and the dirty dishes.
"Okay, Cait." Hawke turned and walked back to the couch. I think I know what she's worried about. It's about us being in the same bed. But she knows I'd never take advantage of her, especially under the circumstances. Twenty minutes later, Caitlin walked back into the living room and sat down on the couch next to Hawke.
"Everything's done." Caitlin smiled at Hawke as he handed her another glass of wine. "Thanks," she said.
"Cait, I know how much it hurt you when Michael told us about that guard dying. Since you were the one who shot him, and especially since it was the first time you ever killed anybody, it's only natural that it's affecting you this way. Are-are you saying you don't want to crew Airwolf anymore?"
"Oh, heck no, String! If you think I'm gonna let you and Dom go into God-knows-where, doing God-knows-what, without some trained backup, then you've got another think coming! You can't get rid of me that easy, especially after what I had to go through to get to crew Airwolf with you two!" The gleam in Caitlin's eyes made Hawke smile. I remember Dom told me about that argument when he was teaching you to fly Airwolf, Cait; and you and I have gone around about the Lady a few times, too. So I understand, he thought.
"I was just checking." Hawke smiled and squeezed Caitlin's hand. "Y'know, Cait, I'm kinda not surprised you reacted the way you did when Michael told us about the guard."
"Really?"
"Yeah. I mean, I remember how you were on the island, when we found all those dead bodies, and I read all the reports after your plane was hijacked, how you were with that little girl. I hate to tell you this, Cait, but you might be takin' everything that happened a little too seriously."
"What? How am I taking things too seriously, String?"
"Just the way you get emotional in these situations, Cait. But, that's one of the things I"-Whoops. Almost said too much there, big mouth, Hawke thought.
"One of the things you...what?"
"Um, nothing."
Right, String, Caitlin thought. If you think I believe that, you've got another think coming! Later that night, when they went upstairs to bed, Hawke said, "You can use the bathroom first."
"Thanks," Caitlin said, grabbing the overnight bag she'd left there a few weeks ago. Hawke smiled as he watched Caitlin walk into the bathroom, then changed into a pair of pajama bottoms and got into bed. A few minutes later, Caitlin came out in her nightgown, hoping Hawke didn't notice her face flushing when she saw his bare chest there in front of her. She slowly slipped into bed next to Hawke, laying her head against his chest. "Good night, String." She was surprised at how quickly she fell asleep. Must be because I feel safe, in String's arms, she thought.
"G'night, Cait," Hawke said, closing his eyes as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders.
Caitlin walked through Horn's compound, noticing the blank stares of the guards. She couldn't help wondering if they were brainwashed the way Hawke had been. Suddenly she heard an explosion, and knew that Hawke's attack against the compound was underway. She pulled the 9mm out of her uniform pocket, and turned to Dom's cell, intending to blow the lock open so she could rescue him.
"Hey!" A guard shouted. Caitlin turned, and without thinking, fired two shots at the guard, dropping him instantly.
"No!" Caitlin shouted, bolting straight up in bed. Hawke sat up almost immediately, knowing what had happened. A nightmare. No wonder she didn't want to be alone.
"Cait? You okay?" Hawke asked, worried. He gently placed a hand on her shoulder, and was not surprised to find her trembling.
"I-I was back in Horn's compound, and heard the explosions when you started the attack," Caitlin said, "And then that guard shouted at me, and"—she leaned against Hawke, not surprised when she began sobbing again. So much for feelin' safe, she thought sadly. I wasn't asleep five minutes when the nightmare hit.
"And you shot him," Hawke said as he pulled her against him, allowing her to cry for a few minutes. As Caitlin wrapped her arms around Hawke, she felt a rush of hormones when she breathed in the scent of his cologne. Easy there, Caity girl, she thought, glad that Hawke couldn't see her face suddenly flush, or the goose pimples she felt on her back as her hands explored Hawke's body, the way she'd always dreamed she'd be able to do, someday. The longer she felt Hawke's arms around her, though, the better she felt. It's like I belong in String's arms. And I could stay here, just like this, forever. Finally, though, she pulled away and looked at Hawke, hoping her face had recovered some of its color.
"Sorry I woke you up."
"No, you're not. And, it's okay. I understand, and now I understand why you didn't want to sleep alone. Cait, I'll be here for you, for as long as you need me."
"I was hopin' you'd say that, String, 'cause I-I might need you for a very long time. But in the meantime, I need you now."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, I need you, String," Caitlin said, reaching under the covers and tugging on Hawke's pajama bottoms until they slid off his body, "I need all of you."
"Cait? Are you sure?"
"String, I've never been more sure of anything in my life," Caitlin replied as she removed her nightgown. "And, you did say you'd do anything for me. So I'm asking you, please make love to me."
Hawke nodded as he took Caitlin into his arms and rolled her body underneath him, and then there was only the slide of their bodies in the firelight of Hawke's sleeping loft.
When it was over, once Hawke thought he could construct a full sentence, he said, "Cait, what brought that on?" Other than my big mouth, he thought. Like Dom always told both Sinj and me, 'Do not operate tongue, unless brain is in gear.' And obviously, mine wasn't when I said what I did. But, I can't undo what just happened, even though I wish like heck I could; because I feel like I took advantage of Cait.
"String, I have wanted you just like this, practically since the day I met you," Caitlin breathed. "I have dreamed of having you make love to me, and touch me the way you did, practically since the day I met you. I needed this, String. I needed you. Understand?"
"I suppose so. But, Cait, I feel like-like I"—Hawke couldn't finish his sentence, but he figured Caitlin knew what he meant when he saw her expression darken.
"First of all, Hawke, 'but' me no 'buts,' or I'm gonna kick yours!" Caitlin felt herself fighting tears again, since she knew what Hawke was trying to say. "You didn't take advantage of me, so I don't ever want to hear you say that again! I wanted this—wanted you! You told me you'd do anything for me, remember? So I asked you to make love to me, and I sure as heck wouldn't have stayed in your bed, and in your arms; if I felt like you took advantage of me! Do you understand me, Hawke?" Hawke nodded, sheepishly. Ouch, he thought with a wince at Caitlin's use of his last name. Hearing her say 'Hawke' like that, after she's been saying 'String' all night, really hurts.
"Second, there's something I've been trying to get you to understand for a very long time. Dom told you what I said to him in Michael's limo?"
"Yeah. So when you said 'probably more than you know,' you meant?"—
"Yeah, String. I meant that I love you. I have loved you, and I've been in love with you, practically since the day I met you, and I will always love you. And that's what I didn't want to tell you during dinner, because I was scared about what you would say."
"Caitlin, I-I love you, too." Hawke smiled at her, relieved that she'd gone back to his first name. "That's what I started to say during dinner. 'That's one of the things I love about you.' I-I just couldn't bring myself to finish the sentence. I think I've been in love with you ever since we met, too; I've just been too afraid to admit it, because of, well, you know."
"Yeah, I do know. So, what changed your mind?"
"I guess I finally realize that you're perfectly capable of taking care of yourself, especially after what you told me happened at Horn's compound. And now with Saint John home, I realize that I've been being incredibly stupid about you—about us." And, she's right. I did say I'd do anything for her. And, I will, Hawke thought. I just wasn't expecting to do that.
"Us?" Caitlin demanded. "Are you saying that"—Caitlin felt her voice catch in her throat in excitement. Is he thinkin' what I'm hopin' he is? She thought anxiously.
"Caitlin, do you really, seriously think we could go back to being just friends, after what just happened? If you need me to really say it, I'll say it. I'm saying that now that Sinj is home, I've decided to quit running from my feelings about you, and that I want us to be together. It's like that song you listen to on the radio sometimes at the hangar, says, Cait—'I can't fight this feeling anymore.' And even if I could, I don't want to. I'll be honest with you. Lately, I've wondered if I screwed up any chance I'd have of being with you with my attitude recently. Actually, with my attitude ever since you came to us. I've got an awful lot to make up for when it comes to you." Hawke wasn't surprised to find tears in Caitlin's hazel eyes when she looked up at him.
"No, String. I wouldn't want to go back to being just your 'friend' after what we just did, and even if I did want that, I know I couldn't do it, and I don't think you could, either. And, you haven't 'screwed up any chance' you had. I've just been waitin' for you to get your head out of your ass about me. And I can't believe something like this brought us together. But in a weird sort of way, I guess it works with you and me. With us." I can't believe I said 'with us!' I never thought there would be an 'us,' with String and me, but I guess now there is! And whatever he decides to do to make up, I sure won't try to stop him!
"Yeah," Hawke smiled as he allowed Caitlin to snuggle into his arms, "With us. I promise you right now, Cait, that I will always love you, no matter what."
"Thanks, String." Caitlin smiled at Hawke, her eyes shining with love. "And I promise you the same. I will always love you, no matter what." Sighing, Caitlin tightened her arms around String, and they both quickly fell asleep.
The next morning, Hawke was surprised when he opened his eyes and saw Caitlin looking down at him, a beautiful smile on her face. "Well, good morning, beautiful. How long have you been awake?"
"Not long. I was just admiring the view. String, do you have any idea how happy I am right now?" Especially since I slept the rest of the way through the night, with no nightmare, because I knew I was in your arms, String; and I felt safe and loved.
If the look in your eyes is any indication, I do, he thought with a smile. "I think I do, Cait," Hawke said, smiling up at her. "And, I'm happier right now than I've been in a very long time. Thanks to you."
"You're welcome. But, do we have to do so much talking?" She grinned impishly at Hawke, and he knew what she was thinking without even having to ask.
"No. In fact, I think we need to stop talking altogether." Hawke's boyish grin as he reached for Caitlin only served to heighten her excitement as their bodies came together again.
Two Days Later, Santini Air...
"It's about time you two decided to come back!" Dom shouted as Hawke and Caitlin stepped out of the helicopter. Dom couldn't place it, but he felt like something had changed between his younger surrogate son and the woman he'd come to love like a daughter. Then, he realized that as soon as String and Caitlin had both gotten out of the helicopter, they'd grabbed each other's hand; and on top of that, they were both smiling. And I don't know who those smiles look better on, Dom thought honestly, but I'd sure like to know what the heck brought them out!
"Ah, String? Is there somethin' you two want to tell me? What the heck happened while you were gone?" 'Cause with those smiles, and the fact that you're holding hands, I'm guessing Cait's over her shock about shooting that guy, Dom thought happily. And it looks like something might have finally happened between you two! The last time I saw String looking this happy was when I met Gabrielle back at the cabin!
Caitlin smiled at Dom as Hawke said, "Well, you remember after Sinj got back, when you asked me if I'd ever stop running from my feelings about Caitlin, and get my head to accept what my heart's been tryin' to tell me? I finally did, Dom, and I told Caitlin that I love her."
"And don't worry, Dom, I told String that I love him, too," Caitlin added, noticing Dom's reaction. "And, that I've loved him ever since I met him," she added, smiling at String.
"Well, I wish it hadn't taken somethin' like Cait shooting that guard to get you to quit runnin' from your feelings, String, but for some strange reason, it works with you two!" Dom said, laughing, as he embraced his two good friends.
"Funny you should say that, Dom. I told String the same thing when we were up at the cabin," Caitlin said, grinning.
"Cait," Saint John said, "I'm glad things worked out for you and String, 'cause I've seen the way you look at him sometimes. I figured you had feelings for him, and I'm glad to see he feels the same way about you. And, I hope you know that Dom and I are always here if you ever need somebody to talk to."
"I do know that, Sinj, and thanks."
"Anytime, Cait. That reminds me, has String ever told you what happened the first time he shot somebody down, back in 'Nam?"
"No," Caitlin said, noticing String's expression.
"Well, when we got back to base after the mission, he confined himself in the barracks for four days, and cried until he got sick," Saint John grinned at Caitlin, ignoring the murderous look String shot him.
"Saint John, that's not true! I-it was two days. But yeah, it is true that I did cry an awful lot. I guess that's why I understood how you felt, Cait."
Caitlin nodded, her mind's eye picturing String's expression when he woke up in the room at Horn's compound, and thought he'd murdered Dom. "I understand, String." She smiled and hugged String as they walked back into the hangar and got back to work.
"Hey, String," Dom said later, "what was buggin' Cait so much, anyway?"
"Well, she told me that she'd never killed anybody, before that guard at Horn's compound." Dom nodded understandingly as String continued, "Once she told me that, her reaction made perfect sense."
"Yeah, I suppose it does. But, at least somethin' good came out of it. I haven't seen you this happy since, well, you know," Dom said, hesitant to bring up the day he'd flown some supplies to the cabin and met Gabrielle.
"Yeah, Dom. Something good did come out of it. And, you're right. I haven't been this happy since that day," String agreed, smiling at his surrogate father. Dom smiled at String as they got back to work. I know what you mean, Dom, and I know why you didn't want to talk about Gabrielle. But I think she would want me to find love again. And I finally have. Of course, it's been right in front of me for the past year; but I've been too scared and stupid to admit it until now, Hawke thought.
Later that afternoon, Hawke was surprised when Marella came to the hangar, alone. "Where's Michael?"
"Back at the office," Marella said, "but he asked me to stop by and find out how Cait's doing."
"It was a little rough at first, but with a little...TLC from me, she's okay now." Hawke grinned at Marella.
"Stringfellow Hawke, is it my imagination, or are you actually smiling?" Marella asked.
"No, it's not your imagination, Marella. I am smiling, and I'll probably be smiling a lot more often. I suppose I'll go ahead and tell you, since you'll find out sooner or later anyway, but Caitlin and I are together. A couple, I mean."
"Well, Stringfellow, I'm certainly happy to hear that!" Marella smiled at Hawke. "Michael and I have both been wondering when you'd finally see how much Caitlin loves you. He told me what happened when Cait and Dom were talking about rescuing you from Horn, and about what Caitlin told Dom in the limousine to convince him to let her come along. And, let me say this—that smile looks pretty good on you." This could turn out to be the best thing to happen to you in a very long time, Stringfellow Hawke, she thought, suppressing a smile. And Michael will certainly be relieved.
"Cait's told me about that, and thanks, Marella." Hawke glanced over his shoulder and saw Caitlin walking toward them. He smiled at her as she came up next to Hawke, sliding her arm around his waist. "Hey, Marella. Where's Michael?"
"I came by myself to see how you were doing, but according to Hawke, congratulations are in order, Caitlin." Marella smiled, noticing the gleam in Caitlin's eyes. And I know why it's there, after what Hawke just told me, she thought. Guess you were right, Hawke. She didn't need the psychiatrist after all. And you seem happier than I've seen you in a very long time. Michael will be relieved to hear that you've finally figured out your feelings about Caitlin.
"Doin' a lot better thanks to String, and thanks, on both counts," Caitlin said as she glanced up at Hawke. "It's probably the weirdest way two people have ever gotten together, but for some odd reason, it works with String and me."
"Yes, I suppose it does," Marella said with a smile. "Well, please tell Dominic I said hello," Marella said, then gave Caitlin's arm a friendly squeeze before she climbed back into the limousine. A short time later, Dom came out of the hangar. "Was Michael here?"
"No, it was Marella," Hawke replied. "She just wanted to see how Cait's doing, and we told her about us. Oh, and she told us to tell you she said hello."
"I'll have to tell her hello the next time I see her," Dom said, smiling at Hawke and Caitlin as the three turned back toward the hangar.
As Hawke and Caitlin ate dinner that night, back at the cabin, Caitlin suddenly looked across the table at Hawke and said, "String, I'm sorry."
"Sorry? For what, Caitlin?" What the heck is she apologizing for? Hawke wondered, suddenly worried.
"For what happened that day at Horn's compound when I kicked you. I-I didn't want to hurt you, String, 'cause I loved you even then. But, you didn't leave me much choice."
I should've known. And I'm not a bit surprised, either. "Cait, it's okay. You're right, though—I didn't leave you much choice. I-I attacked you, so you needed to defend yourself. I can certainly forgive you for that. I just wonder if you can forgive me for attacking you the way I did."
"String, it was only you in the physical sense. The person who attacked me that day wasn't really you. At least, not the same you who's sitting across the table from me. Not the man I love. I knew that the minute you yelled 'Spy!' at me. You didn't even recognize my voice, String. And I don't even want to think about what those 'doctors' did to you. I'm just grateful that Michael's antidote worked, and brought you back. And by the way," she said, grinning at him, "you're forgiven, String."
"Thanks, Caitlin."
"Oh, I've been meanin' to tell you something else. I decided that first night we were together that I'm only gonna call you 'Hawke' if I'm really mad at you. I just think 'String' sounds better, y'know?"
"Thanks again. I really appreciate that." Really mad like you were that first night, he thought. Well, I'll never say something like that again.
"You're welcome, on both counts. By the way, String. I've been thinking, and I decided that I-I want to move in here, with you. Now that we're together, I think it only makes sense, don't you?"
Hawke didn't answer immediately, which worried Caitlin. Then, he stood up from his chair and walked around to Caitlin's side of the table. He pulled her up to him and said, "Welcome home, Caitlin," then kissed her with everything he had. When they separated, after they both had caught their breath, Caitlin said, "Thanks, String. I've always loved this place, and I think I'm going to love living here even more. Do you remember when you said I looked right at home, the first night I was here?"
"Of course I do. I was glad to see you looking so comfortable here, even in spite of the situation."
"Well, I've always felt comfortable here, especially when it's just you and me here together. I can't explain it, really, but I feel more comfortable bein' here, with you, than just about anywhere else I know."
"I'm glad. And this place sure feels a lot nicer with you here. More like, more like a home, I guess."
"I'm sure glad to hear that, String." Caitlin smiled up at Hawke, then gasped when she felt him sweep her off her feet and head to the sleeping loft.
Later, just before Hawke and Caitlin went to sleep, Caitlin gently kissed Hawke's lips. "Thank you, String."
"For what, Caitlin?"
"For bein' there for me when I needed you, just like you always have been, even before you accepted how I feel about you."
"You're welcome, baby. And I promise you, I'll always be here for you. And thank you for being so patient with me while I figured out my feelings. Most women wouldn't have, y'know."
"Well, then, I guess it's just danged lucky for you that I'm not most women. And I'll always be here for you, too, String; because I love you. Don't ever forget how much I love you." Caitlin smiled and snuggled closer to Hawke.
"I love you, too, Caitlin. And I won't forget. I promise you that." String gave Caitlin a last, lingering kiss. She closed her eyes and sighed happily as String's heartbeat lulled her to sleep.
Hawke smiled as he watched Caitlin fall asleep, unwilling to close his eyes just yet. Besides, he thought, if I ever did forget, you'd probably treat me to one of those karate kicks you told me about. Then, Hawke felt his thoughts grow serious again. You're right, Cait. I am very lucky you're not most women. Like you said, it may have been a weird way we got together, but it works, for us. He smiled and allowed himself to finally close his eyes, feeling Caitlin snuggle closer to his body. He couldn't place it, but something felt different to him. Then, suddenly, Stringfellow Hawke realized what the feeling was. I'm happy, he thought, taking one final glance at Caitlin. Like I told Dom this afternoon, for the first time since Gabrielle died, I'm really, honestly happy. And I don't know why, but I think things are gonna be different. String relaxed as he finally felt sleep claiming him. God, thank you for bringing Caitlin into my life, and for keeping her around long enough for me to get my head straight about her. Now, we can start thinking about our future, he thought. Our future, together.
THE END