Title: Dilapidated Memories
Rating: PG
Warning(s): AU, Mild, almost implied slash
Spoilers: Yes, book 6
Author's notes: Reviews are greatly appreciated.
Summary: Remus returns to the one place he found comfort-and the one with equal amounts of pain
The house appeared neglected at first glance. Strips of parchment littered the study and books older than Grimmauld Place itself were thrown carelessly on the floor in the library. The air smelled stale and uninviting.
Remus Lupin wrinkled his nose at the dust that had settled upon every piece of furniture. And to think it had only been a mere three months since they had used this place last.
No one from the Order would set foot inside the fortress of Black. And apparently after Dumbledore's death, no one wanted to. True, it was Remus's first time back himself and standing in the dank depressing entry way, he remembered why he hadn't returned sooner.
Memories assaulted him at every turn and he didn't dare venture upstairs. He didn't need to go to the bedroom-their bedroom, for he had no desire to deal with the past with his state of mind. Someone had been here at one point though.
He knew Tonks and Moody and probably even Shacklebolt had returned early on to destroy evidence. Everything was picked over. Remus was actually surprised the place was still standing. He wasn't sure why he was curious, and he wouldn't admit why he had come back.
Hermione wanted to. She was practically in tears over the thought of all those perfectly dangerous but informative books getting stolen or destroyed. Of course Harry wouldn't let her. Harry himself never came back. Though truth be told, the war barely allowed anyone a moment's peace.
Remus peeked in the narrow kitchen with its monstrously long table. Crumbs and books and more parchment littered every square inch. Priceless china lay smashed to bits in the porcelain sink. Remus sighed and wished for a hot cup of tea.
He returned to the library and sat down on his favorite red leather chair. He laid his wand upon his knees and asked himself again why he had bothered coming. A fondness for self-torture he told himself over and over. He stared at the large brick fireplace- as neglected as the rest of the house- and found himself chilled. With a last sigh, he heaved himself to his feet and turned to go.
The unmistakable sound of floo flaring had him turning though, wand already outstretched. Stupid! Thoughtless! Of course someone would have warded it. Oh well, at least if he was killed he wouldn't feel so damn depressed anymore.
A giant bat of a figure coolly and elegantly strode out of the floo, whipping his cloak at his feet as he flicked off pieces of ash and coal. Raven hair that matched the clothing covered most of the face but the black eyes against the pale skin burned straight into Remus.
The werewolf did not gasp as he first wanted to. Instead he leveled his wand with a steady hand and aimed it straight at the other man's chest.
Severus Snape collectedly strode forward, arms at his side. There was no sight of his wand. Of course, Severus had never needed a wand to ensnare someone.
"What took so long?" The familiar sneer paired with the silky voice was near sensory overload for Remus. His eyes narrowed and his wand never wavered from the target.
"I suppose I should be asking you the same thing. I've been here almost an hour. You are losing your touch, Severus."
Something passed over Severus's eyes but would scarcely be noticeable for someone who did not know him as well as Remus had. They were feet apart.
"I'm very busy," the darker man drawled.
Remus's eyes narrowed further and his knuckles were white around his wand. Severus quirked a brow and actually folded his arms in obvious annoyance.
"I should kill you right now."
"You have every reason to."
Remus swallowed down everything he actually wanted to say. Dumbledore's murderer stood unarmed right in front of him and still the words would not come.
"Do it, Lupin. I do not have all day." The weariness in his voice took Remus by surprise. It took all of a second to come to his senses.
Remus lowered his wand to his side, his rigid stance deflating. Severus's reply was the customary brow lift.
"You will not kill me?" There was mild surprise there but nothing Remus hadn't expected. He carefully met the dark eyes and took a step forward.
"I once made the mistake of thinking the worst of someone I loved. I do not intend to make the same mistake twice."
Severus looked guarded. "Potter was there. I'm sure he told everyone what-"
"He did. Numerous times."
Severus looked confused. "Then surely you would have no cause to disbelieve him. You know what I did," he finished resolutely, his eyes boring into Remus's.
"You warded this place. You knew I would come, eventually."
First nothing, and then a slow nod. Remus felt his heart breaking into a multitude of tiny pieces. He took the last remaining steps and grabbed the fronts of Severus's cloak.
Snape was left momentarily surprised but launched at Remus's lips just as needy. Sighs and groans echoed through Grimmauld Place as the only two occupants kissed and fumbled against each other for what seemed an infinite amount of time.
Finally air was required and the two figures slowly parted, bruised lips and matching dilated pupils affecting them both. Remus noted the other man's blush, his ragged breathing-and he leaned his head against his chest, needing desperately the comfort and familiarity.
Severus wound his arms around Remus's back and breathed in the scent of the werewolf's soft hair. There were no words exchanged but it was no different than any other time. For them it was always something deeper- something neither of them dared to name.
Finally Remus pulled away, turning slightly. Severus let him go reluctantly and uncharacteristically ran a trembling hand through his long hair.
"You had better get back. I'm sure they will be wondering where you are," Remus found himself saying, much to the surprise of Severus.
There was a moment's awkward pause where Remus felt the need to scream and vent and Severus clearly was battling with himself to keep quiet. But in the end, Severus turned right around and grabbed a hidden pouch with floo powder from inside his cloak. Remus watched him with a tight throat and clenched jaw.
Surprisingly, it was Severus that spoke first. "As a… reminder, this place is warded strictly to you." He licked his lips once more and snarled an unfamiliar location. Within seconds, he was gone.
Remus stood perfectly still and listened to his own heart madly beating within his chest. He replayed Severus's last words in his head and smiled for the first time in months.