Disclaimer: I don't own High School Musical, lemmings, or butternut squash.
Author's Note: I don't have much to say, only that this was meant to be over-the-top. :) Please review!
Friday evening
He shoved another spoonful of banana split ice cream into his mouth and forced himself to watch Cinderella more closely. Somewhere in there he'd figure out where he went wrong. Somewhere on that screen the producers hid the clue, that vital bit of information that would tell him all the secrets of life, weight loss, non-stick frying pans, relationships. Love.
And when Cinderella saw her prince for the first time, Ryan turned off the DVD player.
"I'm so hopeless," he muttered.
He threw the DVD case across the room, threw the remote onto his bedside table where it clattered against his car keys, threw himself onto his bed, listened to the static of the television snow and cried, cried, cried.
--------------------
Monday evening
Kelsi was playing the upper range, Ryan was playing the lower range, and Chad was peeking around the corner of the door to see it all.
At first, he wanted to barge in and tell her to keep her hands off his man.
Then he remembered that they wanted to keep this quiet.
And besides, they looked so...
Well, cute. Right. They looked so right together.
He never saw them kiss or hug or do anything more than accidentally touch hands and smile and sing every now and then, but he didn't need to.
He had made his mind up: it was over. Kelsi was going to make him happy and be there for him and it would all be acceptable.
And he had accepted that. He had...
...the first seventy-three times he'd seen them together. But number seventy-four was the tipping point.
"Just my allergies, Mom," he'd said when he got home and asked why his face was such a mess, why his life was such a mess, why he didn't just clean things up with a little effort, when all it took was just a quick conversation to find out whether or not Ryan was even considering being with Kelsi for good.
It was easier to let him go. It was going to be easier to never see him again after summer was over. It had to be.
He went to bed at 11:13. He fell asleep at 3:49.
---------------------
"Tuesday Morning"
Ryan's razor did a little dance on his face,
hopping, sliding, like a white bear's tongue
licking his face in search of honey
or whatever it was that bears liked.
And when the hairs pared down
to just bits of hazelnut on the sink,
Chad wiped, swiped at them
until they were a neat pile
of shredded pencil shavings
drowning in the white.
---------------------
Tuesday morning, later
Chad drove normally, taking the usual way to school, but when he saw Ryan in the parking lot, he drove past the school and drove with nowhere in mind.
His aimlessness brought him to the public library, one of the only places he and Ryan had never been together.
There, he read Moby Dick until he realized it was three o'clock, then drove home.
---------------------
Wednesday morning, between second and third periods
Ryan was just rounding the corner when he was yanked by his shirt collar into an empty classroom.
"Chad? What - " Ryan began.
"Are you straight, or what?" Chad asked.
"What?" Ryan echoed.
"You and Kelsi. What the hell is that?" Chad demanded.
"I...I like her," Ryan admitted.
"As much as you liked me?" Chad whispered.
Ryan hesitated.
"That's what I thought," Chad said, pushed past Ryan, and left the room, left Ryan standing there alone.
And after Chad was long gone, Ryan's answer came:
"No."
----------------------
Thursday evening
Ryan sent text message number sixty-two and knew he wasn't going to get a response. But he had to try, had to have something to keep his fingers going, had to not think about what Chad wanted him to think about now.
He liked Kelsi. He liked Chad. So couldn't he just have both of them? It seemed like such an easy answer.
But the easiest way was never best - Ryan had unfortunately learned that - and besides, he didn't like to lie and he'd have to lie if he wanted to date them both.
How could he choose? He didn't want to choose. But he had to - and nobody knew that he liked boys, nobody except Chad. They might have suspected, but they didn't know. Only Chad knew.
So it was safer to be with Kelsi. She was nice, he liked her and she liked him, and everyone thought they were so cute together. Everyone liked them. Everyone approved of them.
It was easy, and although Ryan knew it wasn't best, it was going to have to be good enough.
----------------------
Friday morning
Ryan tapped Chad on the shoulder while he was at his locker.
"I need a minute," Ryan said. Chad nodded, waved Jason off, and turned back to Ryan.
"What do you want?" he asked.
Ryan took a deep breath.
"Are you...going to say anything?" Ryan asked.
"About us?" Chad replied. Ryan nodded. "Of course not."
Ryan let out a breath he knew he'd been holding.
"How could you ever think I would?" Chad added.
Ryan took one look at Chad and tried to say something, but his voice was strangled in his throat and his mind was moving like once-hot lukewarm oatmeal.
Chad's hand moved up, and for one slow moment Ryan thought he was going to either hit him or cup his chin just like he always did before they kissed. In anticipation of either, Ryan flinched.
But the slam of the locker door and the ringing of the warning bell was all that came; and when Ryan opened his eyes, Chad was turning the corner down the hall.
----------------------
Friday afternoon
Chad stopped cold, his keys halfway out of his pocket.
"Go away," he said.
Ryan didn't move.
"Not until we talk about this," he replied.
"There's nothing to talk about," Chad shot back.
"Of course there is," Ryan said simply.
Chad just stared.
Ryan lost his voice again.
Then, finally:
"I'll miss you," he croaked out.
Chad's stare softened.
"We'll use AIM. And Facebook. And we have all summer," he said.
"That's not what I meant," Ryan murmured.
"I know," Chad whispered.
Chad stared at Ryan's foot.
Ryan reached for, cupped Chad's chin.
Chad put a hand, halting, on Ryan's chest.
"A hug, then," Ryan whispered.
Chad nodded.
They embraced, embraced like fingertips clutching at the edge of an eroded precipice.
And then they let go.