Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from Twilight. If I did, I would make them involved in love affairs that make soap opera fans cringe and crazy threesomes everyday. … oops.
"Esme, where's Edward?" I asked as I stepped into the Cullen mansion.
"Oh Bella, he's gone! They're gone," Esme said, shaking her head.
"What do you mean gone? Who's gone?"
"It's Edward and Carlisle! They... they ran away together!"
"No. He wouldn't do that to me after all the 4039584309589467 things I've done for him!" I cried.
"But he did. And I should have seen it coming. I always knew that Carlisle's feelings were more than fatherly," she sniffed.
"What will I do, Esme! He left me!" She came up to me and started to caress my cheek. I found myself dazzled by another pair of topaz eyes.
"I'll take care of you Bella," Esme said quietly. "You're the most beautiful, amazing, attractive, selfless, brilliant, sweet, witty, intelligent, sexy, funny, smart, incredible, gorgeous perfect person I've met in my entire vampire existence. Will you let me take care of you?"
In that moment, I was so overwhelmed by emotions I'd always felt but never acknowledged (but really because the author loves Esme and is using me, the Mary Sue to live out her fantasies). I wrapped my arms around her waist. "Of course, Esme, I'm so desirable I've already hooked up with everyone else in the books. Hell, if the mailman were a vampire, I'd do him too!"
And then I lived happily ever after with my true soulmate-- until the next wave of Jerry Springer-ism hit.
This was written because I owed it to myself. If you can get why I wrote it, hurray for you! If you hated it, flame away. I could care less and it's pretty cold here.