Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Easier to Breathe
"Girls, dinner!" Ashley Marin called from the kitchen.
"Mmm, Emily." Hanna moaned, currently being pressed into her mattress by Emily on this cool fall afternoon. Their entire bodies were pressed together in a heated lip-lock.
"Did you hear that?" Questioned Emily as she snaked her hand underneath Hanna's shirt. "God your skin is burning up."
"No I didn't, and your hot too." Hanna replied, capturing Emily's bottom lip between hers to suck on.
"Mmm." Moaned Emily, boldly inching her hand higher to cup Hanna's breast. She hesitated momentarily, looking into Hanna's eyes for any sign that she wanted to slow down, and Hanna, sensing her hesitation, grabbed for Emily's hand to place it there herself.
"You can touch me, Em." Emily's hand squeezed lightly. "Oh, mmm. Unhook it."
Emily froze. "Seriously? Are you sure?"
"Yes, god, just please touch me." Hanna moaned, lifting herself up on her elbows so the brunette could reach behind her to unclasp the bra, never ceasing eye contact.
With one hand Emily flicked the clasp open and felt the garment release from Hanna's body. "Um, Han, your shirt... um, can you take your arms out of the sleeves so you can get this off?"
Hanna pushed Emily back slightly and sat up. In one fluid motion she ripped the shirt over her head and flung it across the room, causing the bra to fall in her lap.
Emily's breath caught as she stared at a half naked Hanna for the first time. "You're beautiful."
Hanna felt herself blush even more than she already was. "Thanks. Now, please, touch me Emily."
Hanna's words spurred the brunette on. She pushed her so that she was flat on her back, Emily straddling Hanna's leg on top of her. Staring at the new flesh before her, Emily unconsciously licked her lips and lightly cupped both breasts. "You're so soft" she mumbled to herself. Emily leaned down to kiss Hanna passionately as her touches became more bold.
"Oh, yesss." Hanna moaned.
Emily broke away from Hanna's mouth to trail kisses down to her neck. She rolled the blonde's right nipple between her fingers as she lightly caressed the other.
"God, right there." Hanna continued to moan.
"How does it feel?" Emily asked.
"So fucking good.
After sucking on her pulse point, Emily started to kiss lower and lower, stopping at her left nipple. Staring into Hanna's eyes, she lightly bit down before suckling it lightly causing Hanna to claw at Emily's back and buck her hips upwards, the process bringing Emily's knee in direct contact with her throbbing center.
"Oh my god..."
Both girls were startled as a knock sounded on Hanna's door. "Hanna, why is your door locked?" Ashley asked. "Dinner's ready."
"HOLY SHIT! I'm coming! I'm coming!" Hanna yelled loudly as she threw her head back, trembling with the force of a sudden orgasm.
Emily stared at Hanna in awe as the blonde came down from her high. She was flushed as she clung to her for dear life. "Did you just..."
"Uh-huh" Hanna squeaked.
"We'll be right there, Mrs. Marin!" Emily called through the door.
Emily rolled off Hanna onto her back, both girls breathing heavily as they stared at the ceiling.
"You're staying for dinner, right?" Hanna asked.
Emily laughed. "After what we just did that's what you ask?" Hanna looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "Yeah, I'm staying for dinner, although I have no idea how I'm going to look your mom in the eyes."
Hanna leaned to give Emily a slow, passionate open mouthed kiss. "God you're such a good kisser."
"So are you Han."
Hanna got up to gather her shirt, not bothering to put her bra back on.
"What are we doing, Hanna?" Emily asked, not really wanting to deal with a potentially awkward conversation at the moment. "What are we?"
"We're us, we're Emily and Hanna."
"But-"
Hanna pulled Emily up and pecked her on the lips. "No, not now. I know we need to talk and we will but... Em, you make it easier to breathe. Know what I mean?"
Emily did know. "Yeah."
"And as for right now I only have one question; why am I the only one who was half naked?" Hanna smirked.
If it was at all possible, Emily felt herself blush even more. How the hell was she going to face Ashley Marin at dinner when she just got her daughter off?
6 weeks ago
Three weeks. Three long, agonizing weeks since life as they knew it once again changed for Hanna and Emily. Nate was dead, but the memories of that night would haunt the both of them forever.
After Caleb's recovery, his mom decided that he was to move to California with her and Caleb reluctantly agreed.
"You should go." Hanna said, tears streaming down her face.
"I don't want to leave you Hanna, I can't protect you if I'm in California." Caleb argued.
Hanna's heart was breaking. "I want you to go."
"But-"
"No," Hanna cried. "I can't do this anymore. My life is way too fucked up right now and I can't take worrying about what A's next move is gonna be. You almost died Caleb, and I just... You need to go be with your mom and bond with your brothers. Please."
"I love you Hanna, I don't have to leave -"
"I love you too Caleb, and that's why you need to go. This is me protecting you; it's the only way I can."
"But what about us?" Caleb questioned.
"If we're meant to be then somehow someday we'll find our way back to each other but for now, we're done."
Caleb nodded his head as he choked back his tears. "Well I guess that's it then." Caleb said before placing a kiss on Hanna's forehead. "Goodbye."
It took every ounce of willpower for Hanna to hold it together as long as she did. Once the door was closed and Caleb was out of her life, she collapsed, crying uncontrollably as she texted Emily.
'Just broke up with Caleb. I need you.'
Emily replied in less than twenty seconds. 'I'll be right there.'
Emily couldn't sleep. The days seemed to blur together and before she knew it, another sleepless night had turned into morning. Glancing at the clock, she sighed; it was 7:40am on a Saturday. Rubbing her tired eyes, Emily made her way to the kitchen for some coffee.
"Good morning." Emily tiredly said to her mother.
"Good morning sweetheart." Pam said, silently watching Emily as she poured herself some coffee. "How did you sleep?"
"I tossed and turned the whole night again."
Pam nodded her head as Emily sat down. She was worried. "Have you taken the pills Dr. Sullivan gave you to help you sleep?"
"No." Emily said. Since the night atop the lighthouse, Emily had been seeing Dr. Sullivan twice a week on a regular basis. She, along with the care of Emily's physician, had prescribed her something to help her sleep. "I don't like them, they make me feel like I can't function when I wake up."
"But you can't function with no sleep, Emily."
"Yeah well, at least I'm not a zombie from the pills." Emily sighed.
Pam was at a loss as for what to do to help. Emily had been through her fair share of grief, heartache and struggle for someone so young and it broke her heart to see her daughter suffer. Wanting to lighten the mood, she changed the subject.
"I'll make us some breakfast." She said, and busied herself making eggs and pancakes. Just as they were finishing up, Paige lightly knocked on the door. Pam let her in and excused herself with the laundry to give the girls some privacy.
"Hey." Paige said, shuffling from foot to foot.
"Hey." Emily replied, noticing how Paige made no move to kiss or hug her hello. "Let's go to my room."
Paige awkwardly sat beside Emily on her bed. "I haven't been able to sleep since that night." She said to Emily. "My parents won't leave me alone, they don't understand what happened."
"Paige, I don't even understand what happened. I haven't been sleeping either."
"It doesn't feel real to me; I was bound and gagged in a closet and I was so sure I was going to die. I lived through it and it doesn't feel real. I just..." Paige trailed off.
"You feel numb." Emily suggested.
"Yeah." Paige agreed. "Like I watched the whole thing and experienced it through someone else's eyes."
"You're lucky that you can do that. I can't."
"What do you mean?" Paige asked.
"Every time I close my eyes I go back to that night." Emily said, shivering.
Paige frowned. Emily looked as exhausted as she herself felt. "Emily, my parents want to send me to go live with my grandmother in Tennessee."
"Oh."
"Yeah." Paige continued. " They've toyed with the idea of moving there for a few years but put it off because they didn't want to ruin my chances of being scouted for swimming, and now they feel it's as good a time as any to make the move, or at least to send me there first. Em, I want to go."
Emily swallowed hard. "Then you should go."
"That's it?" Paige questioned.
"What do you want me to say? I understand Paige; it would be selfish of me to ask you to stay."
Paige nodded, tears welling up in both girls eyes.
"When are you leaving?" Emily asked.
"We're flying down tomorrow for a few days to check out the school. If all goes well according to my parents, I'll start school right after Thanksgiving."
Emily leaned forward to lightly kiss Paige's lips. "Good luck."
"Thanks." Paige said as she headed towards the door. "I love you Emily."
"I know. Paige-"
Paige held up her hand. "It's ok Emily. I know you care about me, but you're not there yet and that's ok. I wish we had more time but... that's life, right?"
"Yeah." Emily said as she hugged the shorter girl. "Goodbye Paige."
"Goodbye, Emily."
As Emily watched Paige walk out of her life, her phone buzzed on her night stand.
'Just broke up with Caleb. I need you.'
Emily replied immediately. 'I'll be right there.'
"Hey." Emily said as she walked into Hanna's room. The blonde was curled in her bed, hugging a stuffed animal to her chest. Emily dropped her bag and kicked off her shoes before climbing into bed next to her. Hanna shifted to face Emily, pushing the stuffed animal aside to hug the brunette, both girls cuddling as close as they could to each other.
"Hi." Hanna whispered.
"What happened?"
"Caleb's mom wants him to move to California and I told him to go."
Emily nodded. "Does he want to go?"
"No, but he is. It's better off this way."
"Are you ok?"
"Surprisingly, yes. It doesn't hurt like I thought it would, or it hasn't hit me yet." Hanna said. "So why were you up so early again? Still not sleeping?"
"No." Emily said. "Paige came over after I had breakfast. She's moving to Tennessee."
"What? Damn, Emily I'm sorry." Hanna said, hugging Emily closer.
"Her parents want her to go and she wants to go, I don't blame her."
Hanna sighed. "I hate our lives sometimes. Are you ok?"
"Yeah, I'm kind of numb. Plus, my heart hasn't been in it for a long time. Does that sound horrible?"
"No." Hanna said. "I get it."
"Maybe it's better this way."
Hanna looked into Emily's eyes. "Do you think we'll ever be able to have normal relationships?"
"God I hope so." Emily said.
"Sometimes I think..." Hanna stopped."
"What is it, Han?"
"Sometimes I think that the only people we can be with are each other. You're the only person I have no secrets from. I can truly be myself with you. Do you think I'm crazy?"
Emily tilted Hanna's chin up to look her in the eyes. "I could never think you're crazy Hanna. There's just one little problem though."
"What?" Hanna questioned.
"You're not gay."
Hanna laughed. "Yeah whatever. You make it easier to breathe. I love you."
Emily yawned. "I love you too."
For the first time in weeks, Emily slept.
A.N. It's been a long time since I've written anything so there may be a few errors.