"Well at least I know when it's time to move on. You're going to be spending the rest of your life pining for a man who doesn't love you and who's married a woman half your age. Look around you they're married, they're starting a family. Where are you going to be 10, 20 years from now? You're going to be saying 'Merry Christmas' to your friends in rehab and wondering what might have been. I'll be leaving first thing in the morning sir."
"My God he's right. The best years of my life are gone… and they sucked. I've always stayed too long at the fair. Well not this time. I have to move on. Maxwell my resignation will be on your desk in the morning."
As she opened the door to leave the tears that she'd been holding back finally fell over onto CC's cheeks. She never knew how much simple words could hurt. Sure she'd been hurt plenty of times by people over the years, but somehow this time it was different. This time it felt deeper.
She hailed a cab, giving the driver her address she leaned back in the seat. Giving herself over to the tears that were now overwhelming her she let the tears rain down her face until they stopped at her building. Wiping her cheeks off quickly, she handed the driver the money and walked without another word up to the elevator of her building.
Opening the door to her apartment she was greeted with the silence of a lonely room. Chester even was nowhere to be seen. The silence enveloping her like a blanket she leaned back against the door and slid down to the floor.
She couldn't get her mind off of what he'd said. She couldn't deny that he was right, although she sincerely wanted to. She knew that she was pining over a man that she could never have. Then again did she ever really want him to begin with, or was it all just a game? Did she really love Maxwell?
Thinking this over she walked to the bar, pouring herself a glass of Vodka. Taking a long drink and feeling it burn all the way down the answer suddenly came to her. No she never really loved Maxwell. She just expected to end up with him because that's what she'd been taught to want, he was someone who had money and could provide for her.
Taking another drink from her glass another question came to her, is that really what she wanted from a man? Mulling the question over in her mind she went over to the couch and unceremoniously flopped onto it. It was true what she'd said to Nanny Fine earlier, she wanted a man who made her heart pound, a man who could sweep her off her feet. She gave a short laugh, "Sure" she said to herself, "that's what everyone wants."
Closing her eyes she tried to envision the perfect man, he would be tall, with a solid body, blue eyes, and maybe with an accent. She smiled to herself, "Now if only I could find a man like that", she said resting her head back against the couch and finishing off her glass.
Suddenly drifting off to sleep she dreamt of her perfect man. She was in his arms as they danced across the clouds. He spun her around and dipped her, holding her firmly. As he pulled her back up to him their eyes met. She couldn't believe who she saw standing there in front of her. It was Niles, the man whom she loathed. He smiled at her and put his hand under her chin gently pulling her face towards his. Her eyes fluttered closed as their lips met in a tender kiss. They pulled apart when the need for oxygen was too much, but she didn't leave his arms. She leant her head against his chest smiling; she felt like this is where she was meant to be.
Jerking awake suddenly she gasped as the memory of the dream stayed with her. What did it mean? Was she in love with Niles? "No, no it couldn't be. I hate him, how can I be in love with him?" She said aloud, mentally shaking herself.
"Then again, didn't someone once say there's a fine line between love and hate?" A voice in her head, surprisingly sounding much like Nanny Fine, was saying.
"Oh great, now I'm talking to myself." She said, walking back over to the bar.
"Well you may not have to be if you would listen to me every once in a while." The voice spoke again.
"And who are you?" CC asked, pouring herself another, slightly larger, glass.
"I'm your conscience."
CC erupted into laughter, "My conscience, right, and why does my conscience sound like that?"
"I don't have the foggiest; it's your brain, not mine."
Sighing, she sat back down onto the couch. "Ok conscience, so what is it that you're trying to tell me?"
"I'm telling you to take a hard look at your life. Why do you think it is that you've never had a relationship with a man that has worked out?"
"I don't know. They've always left me, not the other way around."
"Yes but would you really have stayed with them, or were you just waiting for them to leave?"
"What do you mean? There were a few that I really did like."
"Like who?"
"Well… ok so I can't think of any right now, but that's not the point. So why hasn't worked out for me? Since you seem to have all the answers you tell me." CC said, taking another sip.
"It's because you're looking for the wrong things."
"What do you mean I'm looking for the wrong things? How can I be looking for the wrong things? I'm looking for what anyone would want. I'm looking for money, power, and stability."
"Is that really what you want?"
"Of course it's what I want."
"Well if you can't even admit to yourself what you really want then there's no way I can help you."
"I can admit to myself what I want."
"Obviously you can't. What is it that you said earlier that you wanted?"
"I want a man that makes my heart pound and who sweeps me off my feet, but that won't really matter if I don't have a roof over my head now will it?"
"How is that such a big deal for you? You have enough money as it is, and you are a working girl you don't need money."
CC sat in silence thinking about this for a second, taking another sip from her drink. The answer seemed to suddenly dawn on her, "It's what I've always been told to want."
"See now that's your problem. You're going with what you've been told to want instead of what your heart wants. How about listening to that for a second?"
"What my heart wants?"
"Oy, do I have to give you another dream to knock some sense into you?"
CC's eyes widened suddenly as it hit her. "Oh my God, I'm in love with Niles."
"Finally I get through to her."
"But I can't be in love with a maid, he's beneath me."
"Where the heart's concerned there is no class."
CC leaned back against the couch yet again, finishing her drink. She let the realization of what she'd just discovered wash over her. "I'm in love with Niles." She said in a whisper.
"Now go tell him before it's too late."
Her eyes flicked quickly to the clock, she saw that it was already 11. She jumped up from her seat on the couch and ran out the door. She didn't stop running until she was outside the Sheffield residence. Slightly out of breath she let herself in the back door, knowing that no one would be up to let her in the front. As she walked through the door she noticed that all the lights were off, but there was a figure sitting at the kitchen table. She recognized it immediately as Niles, and her heart started beating faster.
"Niles, what are you doing up?" She whispered stopping in her tracks.
"What are you doing here Miss Babcock? I thought you'd resigned."
"I" she sighed, sitting down next to him, "I needed to see you again." She finally admitted, looking over at him. In the dim light of the kitchen she couldn't read his face.
He lifted his head slightly, looking into her eyes which he could faintly see shining in the low light, "You needed to see me?" He asked quizzically.
She nodded, "Yes. I realized that you were right. I have wasted most of my life, but I don't want to waste any more of it."
"Oh, and what do you plan to do?"
CC sighed, still unsure of her actions as she cupped his cheek in her hand and let her lips meet his in a gentle kiss. The moment their lips met his hands went around her waist, pulling her closer into him. They broke the kiss quickly, neither saying a word as they both took a moment to regain their composure.
"Miss Babcock?"
"CC." She corrected him, running her fingers through his sandy blonde hair.
"CC," He smiled back, "Are you sure about this?"
"I've never been more sure about anything in my life, Butler Boy." She smirked, letting her lips graze against his again.
"CC, I need to tell you something." He whispered as he gently rubbed his thumb against his cheek.
"What is it?" She asked, loving the feel of his touch.
"I love you CC. I won't ask you to marry me right now, but I think you need to know my feelings."
She leaned in and kissed him, "I… think I love you too."
Niles let out a small chuckle, "Well it's the thought that counts." He said kissing her once more.