Author: Queen2
Disclaimer: I own nothing, only my own idea.
Title: You did it with my mom!
Rating: 13-PG, but you can be younger if you not super-sensitive.
Summary: Draco makes an unfortunate revelation about his mother's new "Boy Toy" and gets great grief over it, heh heh. Appearances by Lucius and Harry. Humours ficlet.
Author's note: This is just a short and I hope to god humours ficlet. Hope you all enjoy it and please do feel free to read anything else by me! Nothing like advertising. Tell you friends! :D
--
You did it with my mom!
Draco stood staring at the calm cool and composed vision of his beloved mother as she looked back at him.
"What?"
"'What?'! What you say! Are you out of your mind!" shrieked the horrified blonde boy "Have you completely lost it!"
Narcissa sat coolly and frowned at her son's outburst "Honey, that is no tone to take with your mother"
"You're corrupting the youth!" Draco put his hand to his forehead feeling it furtively "Oh god I can hear it now 'Aristocrat mom finds her inner child, in the form of 16 year old boy'!"
"Draco, like you haven't been living the high life, what am I meant to do? Smash a bottle on the side of your head and say 'good luck to all who sail within her'?"
Draco just looked back at his mother dumbly "I am not a boat! And I do not go around corrupting the youth!"
"No honey, you are the youth that is to be corrupted, Duh"
". . . What?!"
Narcissa smiled showing the silver stud that now adorned her small pink tongue.
Draco was on her in an instant.
"And what is this?!" He cried grabbing her jaw and turned her to face the window.
"Oh get off! Its all the fashion downtown" Narcissa wormed away from him and shot him a withering look.
"'Down town'?"
"Yeah, we have great fun down there" Narcissa smiled dreamily and spun around on the piano chair, the wheels grating on the wooden floor.
A choked sound came out as Draco watched and tried , in vain, to comprehend what he was seeing.
"And, look at you! What have you done to yourself?" he cried looking at the low cut red, black and green dress she wore that hung in slashed strands just below her middle thigh, long black velvet boots adorned her legs, her brown-blond hair had been remodelled into a shorter sharper style spiked at the ends, black sunglasses were perched on her head.
"I've made myself feel good!" shot back Narcissa.
Dracos eyes widened in horror as his mother reached up to put a piece of spiked hair in place "What! What is that!" He choked grabbing her arm and looking in unabashed horror at the large rose tattoo with a snake entwined around it.
Narcissa rolled her eyes and snatched her arm away from him "Nothing!"
"Mom! I saw it!"
"Saw what?"
"Mom!"
"Yeah hun?"
"Argh!"
"Tell me you didn't get anything pierced, please, just nothing pierced" pleaded Draco desperately searching his mother's form for any sign of a piercing "I mean besides that thing in your mouth, urgh"
Narcissa twirled on her seat swinging her legs and laughed at her crazed son "What? You never made out with someone with a tongue ring?"
"Mom!"
"Its really cool, you should try it sometime, its like this little ball thing massaging your mouth and its such a turn-"
"Stop!"
"On, Draco honey, you need to get out more I mean, I have never seen you get off with a girl"
Draco looked at her in complete horror as his straight aristocratic mother talked to him about his sex life.
"Mom, please, ill pay you to stop" he groaned sinking in despair onto the floor.
"But I haven't! Let me tell you something though, girls love when you do this" Leaning forward Narcissa poked out her tongue and flicked it around. At which point the door opened and Lucius Malfoy strolled in.
"Mom!" cried Draco, made a dive for her and quickly clamped his hand around his mother mouth and tongue.
"Hello Nar, Draco" smiled Lucius and went and got himself a drink from the decanter on the sideboard.
"Eww!" cried Draco suddenly jumped back from his mother looking at his hand in disgust where Narcissa had just spat on.
"Hmm?" Asked Lucius not looking up.
Grinning Narcissa stuck her tongue out at Draco before twirling to face Lucius.
"Lucius, honey, Draco has a problem pulling girls".
"Oh god" cried Draco turning to the surprised look of his father.
"Oh. . . Well Draco. . . you know. . . that's not. . . um. . . what?" stammered Lucius looking at Narcissa only seeing her for the first time.
"Draco-has-a-problem-pulling-girls" spelt out Narcissa, the silver stud in her mouth glinting.
"Nar, what's that in your mouth?
Narcissa shut her mouth smartly and smiled up at her husband "Nothing" she muttered between her teeth.
"Mom pierced her tongue!" shouted Draco from his side of the room pointing frantically at Narcissa in case his father had any trouble in locating her.
Lucius blinked, shook her head and blinked again.
"Yeah yeah, but honey, our boy can't pull a girl!" insisted Narcissa.
"Hey!" cried Draco.
"Nar, am sure he can" seeing her expression he added "very successfully am sure, but darling, are you. . .em . . . ok?"
"Oh! Am fine!. . . Maybe he doesn't like girls"
Dracos eyebrows shot up, quickly followed by Lucius'
Turning her to her distraught son Narcissa smiled kindly at him "Drac, are you gay?"
"Dad please! Make her stop!"
"No no, id like to hear the answer to this" Lucius looked expectantly at his son.
"Mom. . .am . . . jeez, no one else had to do this with their parents!"
"Are you gay Draco honey? Do you like boys?" asked Narcissa in what she must have thought was a kind manner, and it would have been if Lucius wasn't waiting for his son's reaction like a hawk.
"Are you gay Draco? persisted his mother "Is that why you don't make out with girls? "Dad make her stop!" pleaded Draco.
"Answer your mother son" said Lucius taking a deep drink from his glass of brandy.
"No!"
"No you're not gay?"
"No am not gonna answer!"
"I think he's in denial Lu" sighed Narcissa demurely looking up at Lucius.
"Draco, answer your mothers question" instructed Lucius firmly gulping down the rest of his drink and hastily pouring himself some more.
"Mom has a tattoo!"
"Liar! Am gonna kill you punk!" shrieked Narcissa holding her arm protectively.
"What?" cried Draco.
"Answer the question draco" his father ordered from the inside of yet another glass of brandy.
"She called me a punk!"
"He said you wouldn't understand! Any of you!" screamed Narcissa.
"He?" asked Lucius? "He!" shouted Draco pointing at his mother.
"Shut up!" screamed Narcissa.
"Damn it Draco answer your mothers question!" shouted Lucius over the melee.
"No!"
"I also pierced my bellybutton you gonna tell him that too!" yelled Narcissa.
"What?" exclaimed Draco.
"What?" asked Lucius looking at her.
"I hate you all!"
"Mom, you acting like a 13 year old!" shouted Draco.
"So?" pouted Narcissa sticking her tongue out at him "He makes me feel young again"
"This young!" snapped Draco.
"Damn it boy answer your mothers damn question are you gay!" shouted Lucius over his wives random cries of insults.
"You'll never be a man like he is!" screamed Narcissa
"He's not a man!" shouted back Draco "You said yourself he's your boy toy!"
"What" asked Lucius his attention snapping to Narcissa.
Seizing his chance Draco pointed at his mother struck a dramatic pose and hoped with all his heart this would stop his fathers damn questions!
"She's having an affair with a guy who's my age!"
"Ill kill you!" screamed Narcissa launching herself at her son while Lucius ran to stop and trottle her at the same time.
At that moment a slight dark haired boy entered the room timidly.
"Hi, excuse me, is Narcissa here?" he asked smiling at the scene before him, Draco lay on floor in the act of screaming, his mothers hands were inches from his neck while she was being held back by her husband who had just been kneed in the groin.
"Harry? Potter!" roared Draco scrambling off the floor and staring at him in horror and rage.
"Hey, Um, Draco" smiled Harry waving uncertainly.
"What" asked Lucius dumbly.
"Honey!" cried Narcissa delightedly pushing her son out of the way as she ran over and kissed the dark haired boy.
"Nooooo" moaned Draco shaking his head in horror.
"What" asked Lucius dumbly.
"Bye now!" smiled Narcissa from the doorway, Harry's got a motorbike with him! Can you imagine!" she giggled and in a stage whisper hissed "by the way, he's a demon in the sack" laughing she dashed out after Harry leaving a gaping and gagging Draco and a frozen Lucius who could only choke out "What".
Draco jumped up ran to the window where he could see the two of them mounting a black motorbike and throughing himself at it and banging the panes with his fist roared down at Harry's startled face "You did it with my mom! You wanker! Ill kill you!"
Behind him Lucius could only manage to choke out "What".
-- Thanks for reading! Please review!
Yours, Q.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, only my own idea.
Title: You did it with my mom!
Rating: 13-PG, but you can be younger if you not super-sensitive.
Summary: Draco makes an unfortunate revelation about his mother's new "Boy Toy" and gets great grief over it, heh heh. Appearances by Lucius and Harry. Humours ficlet.
Author's note: This is just a short and I hope to god humours ficlet. Hope you all enjoy it and please do feel free to read anything else by me! Nothing like advertising. Tell you friends! :D
--
You did it with my mom!
Draco stood staring at the calm cool and composed vision of his beloved mother as she looked back at him.
"What?"
"'What?'! What you say! Are you out of your mind!" shrieked the horrified blonde boy "Have you completely lost it!"
Narcissa sat coolly and frowned at her son's outburst "Honey, that is no tone to take with your mother"
"You're corrupting the youth!" Draco put his hand to his forehead feeling it furtively "Oh god I can hear it now 'Aristocrat mom finds her inner child, in the form of 16 year old boy'!"
"Draco, like you haven't been living the high life, what am I meant to do? Smash a bottle on the side of your head and say 'good luck to all who sail within her'?"
Draco just looked back at his mother dumbly "I am not a boat! And I do not go around corrupting the youth!"
"No honey, you are the youth that is to be corrupted, Duh"
". . . What?!"
Narcissa smiled showing the silver stud that now adorned her small pink tongue.
Draco was on her in an instant.
"And what is this?!" He cried grabbing her jaw and turned her to face the window.
"Oh get off! Its all the fashion downtown" Narcissa wormed away from him and shot him a withering look.
"'Down town'?"
"Yeah, we have great fun down there" Narcissa smiled dreamily and spun around on the piano chair, the wheels grating on the wooden floor.
A choked sound came out as Draco watched and tried , in vain, to comprehend what he was seeing.
"And, look at you! What have you done to yourself?" he cried looking at the low cut red, black and green dress she wore that hung in slashed strands just below her middle thigh, long black velvet boots adorned her legs, her brown-blond hair had been remodelled into a shorter sharper style spiked at the ends, black sunglasses were perched on her head.
"I've made myself feel good!" shot back Narcissa.
Dracos eyes widened in horror as his mother reached up to put a piece of spiked hair in place "What! What is that!" He choked grabbing her arm and looking in unabashed horror at the large rose tattoo with a snake entwined around it.
Narcissa rolled her eyes and snatched her arm away from him "Nothing!"
"Mom! I saw it!"
"Saw what?"
"Mom!"
"Yeah hun?"
"Argh!"
"Tell me you didn't get anything pierced, please, just nothing pierced" pleaded Draco desperately searching his mother's form for any sign of a piercing "I mean besides that thing in your mouth, urgh"
Narcissa twirled on her seat swinging her legs and laughed at her crazed son "What? You never made out with someone with a tongue ring?"
"Mom!"
"Its really cool, you should try it sometime, its like this little ball thing massaging your mouth and its such a turn-"
"Stop!"
"On, Draco honey, you need to get out more I mean, I have never seen you get off with a girl"
Draco looked at her in complete horror as his straight aristocratic mother talked to him about his sex life.
"Mom, please, ill pay you to stop" he groaned sinking in despair onto the floor.
"But I haven't! Let me tell you something though, girls love when you do this" Leaning forward Narcissa poked out her tongue and flicked it around. At which point the door opened and Lucius Malfoy strolled in.
"Mom!" cried Draco, made a dive for her and quickly clamped his hand around his mother mouth and tongue.
"Hello Nar, Draco" smiled Lucius and went and got himself a drink from the decanter on the sideboard.
"Eww!" cried Draco suddenly jumped back from his mother looking at his hand in disgust where Narcissa had just spat on.
"Hmm?" Asked Lucius not looking up.
Grinning Narcissa stuck her tongue out at Draco before twirling to face Lucius.
"Lucius, honey, Draco has a problem pulling girls".
"Oh god" cried Draco turning to the surprised look of his father.
"Oh. . . Well Draco. . . you know. . . that's not. . . um. . . what?" stammered Lucius looking at Narcissa only seeing her for the first time.
"Draco-has-a-problem-pulling-girls" spelt out Narcissa, the silver stud in her mouth glinting.
"Nar, what's that in your mouth?
Narcissa shut her mouth smartly and smiled up at her husband "Nothing" she muttered between her teeth.
"Mom pierced her tongue!" shouted Draco from his side of the room pointing frantically at Narcissa in case his father had any trouble in locating her.
Lucius blinked, shook her head and blinked again.
"Yeah yeah, but honey, our boy can't pull a girl!" insisted Narcissa.
"Hey!" cried Draco.
"Nar, am sure he can" seeing her expression he added "very successfully am sure, but darling, are you. . .em . . . ok?"
"Oh! Am fine!. . . Maybe he doesn't like girls"
Dracos eyebrows shot up, quickly followed by Lucius'
Turning her to her distraught son Narcissa smiled kindly at him "Drac, are you gay?"
"Dad please! Make her stop!"
"No no, id like to hear the answer to this" Lucius looked expectantly at his son.
"Mom. . .am . . . jeez, no one else had to do this with their parents!"
"Are you gay Draco honey? Do you like boys?" asked Narcissa in what she must have thought was a kind manner, and it would have been if Lucius wasn't waiting for his son's reaction like a hawk.
"Are you gay Draco? persisted his mother "Is that why you don't make out with girls? "Dad make her stop!" pleaded Draco.
"Answer your mother son" said Lucius taking a deep drink from his glass of brandy.
"No!"
"No you're not gay?"
"No am not gonna answer!"
"I think he's in denial Lu" sighed Narcissa demurely looking up at Lucius.
"Draco, answer your mothers question" instructed Lucius firmly gulping down the rest of his drink and hastily pouring himself some more.
"Mom has a tattoo!"
"Liar! Am gonna kill you punk!" shrieked Narcissa holding her arm protectively.
"What?" cried Draco.
"Answer the question draco" his father ordered from the inside of yet another glass of brandy.
"She called me a punk!"
"He said you wouldn't understand! Any of you!" screamed Narcissa.
"He?" asked Lucius? "He!" shouted Draco pointing at his mother.
"Shut up!" screamed Narcissa.
"Damn it Draco answer your mothers question!" shouted Lucius over the melee.
"No!"
"I also pierced my bellybutton you gonna tell him that too!" yelled Narcissa.
"What?" exclaimed Draco.
"What?" asked Lucius looking at her.
"I hate you all!"
"Mom, you acting like a 13 year old!" shouted Draco.
"So?" pouted Narcissa sticking her tongue out at him "He makes me feel young again"
"This young!" snapped Draco.
"Damn it boy answer your mothers damn question are you gay!" shouted Lucius over his wives random cries of insults.
"You'll never be a man like he is!" screamed Narcissa
"He's not a man!" shouted back Draco "You said yourself he's your boy toy!"
"What" asked Lucius his attention snapping to Narcissa.
Seizing his chance Draco pointed at his mother struck a dramatic pose and hoped with all his heart this would stop his fathers damn questions!
"She's having an affair with a guy who's my age!"
"Ill kill you!" screamed Narcissa launching herself at her son while Lucius ran to stop and trottle her at the same time.
At that moment a slight dark haired boy entered the room timidly.
"Hi, excuse me, is Narcissa here?" he asked smiling at the scene before him, Draco lay on floor in the act of screaming, his mothers hands were inches from his neck while she was being held back by her husband who had just been kneed in the groin.
"Harry? Potter!" roared Draco scrambling off the floor and staring at him in horror and rage.
"Hey, Um, Draco" smiled Harry waving uncertainly.
"What" asked Lucius dumbly.
"Honey!" cried Narcissa delightedly pushing her son out of the way as she ran over and kissed the dark haired boy.
"Nooooo" moaned Draco shaking his head in horror.
"What" asked Lucius dumbly.
"Bye now!" smiled Narcissa from the doorway, Harry's got a motorbike with him! Can you imagine!" she giggled and in a stage whisper hissed "by the way, he's a demon in the sack" laughing she dashed out after Harry leaving a gaping and gagging Draco and a frozen Lucius who could only choke out "What".
Draco jumped up ran to the window where he could see the two of them mounting a black motorbike and throughing himself at it and banging the panes with his fist roared down at Harry's startled face "You did it with my mom! You wanker! Ill kill you!"
Behind him Lucius could only manage to choke out "What".
-- Thanks for reading! Please review!
Yours, Q.