Things she Isn't

The media called her ruthless. Said she would do whatever it took to secure humanity's place in the council. That wasn't true, anyone who met her could tell you that. Garrus could name a hundred reasons why the media was wrong about Shepard, she stopped him from shooting Sidonis, helped Thane reunite with his son, she made sure Miranda didn't kill her lifelong friend. No, Shepard cared about what she did. She cared about people too. She may put on a brave face for the public, but when it came down to it, Shepard was the one you wanted at your side. That wasn't because she could get the job done, it was because she cared enough to do it.

The council called her a liar, denying the fact that the Reapers were real after everything that happened. He couldn't ever believe that she would lie. She always told the truth, even when it was hard. She had told that man on the citadel about the experiments being preformed on his wife's body, something the Alliance wanted to keep quiet. She wasn't quiet about how she felt when Garrus told her about Sidonis, she took every chance she got to tell him tha guns weren't always the right answer. At the time he thought it was a funny thing for her to say.

Some people called her a monster, said the way she blasted anyone who got in her way wasn't right. Everyone on the Normandy could tell them how wrong they were, Commander Shepard is a hero. She'd save their life in an instant, the only people she shot were mercs and mechs and Cerberus and reapers. The world was a safer place, thanks to her. She didn't kill because she liked it or because she thought the people deserved some harsh judgement only she could give. Shepard killed because if she didn't do the hard work, and ridding the galaxy of the Reapers was definitely hard work, then someone else would have to. She would never share that burden.

Others called her cold, aloof. Garrus couldn't even say how wrong they are. No one had as much love in their heart as she did, even if she was slow to dish it out. She would die for any one for her crew, almost had a few times. But maybe Garrus was prejudice, because he knew she loved him. He could see it in her eyes when she glanced back at him, always making sure he was okay. Sometimes it seemed like she thought he would disappear into thin air, like anything good that happened to her would be taken by a twist of fate. She loved the others, too. Always watching out for Tali, training with Grunt, sparing with James. She was their commander, but she was also their friend.

They said she ran with a bad crowd, krogans and mercenaries and Cerberus. Garrus thought they were crazy, the Normandy and her crew were the best he'd ever seen. Although he might have to exclude Zaeed from that, Jack too. But they were loyal, no one was afraid to let Wrex have their back (or at least after they got to know him) or to let Jack throw her biotics over their heads.

Anderson thought she was fearless. He was wrong, too. It was Garrus who she woke with her screams and restless sleep. It was Garrus who knew every detail of every nightmare. It was Garrus who found her crying in the shower because it was all to much. She didn't know how she managed to function during the day, she got so little sleep it was scary. One woman shouldn't cradle the fate of the galaxy in her hands.

Udina thought she was a Spectre. It was in name only. Shepard may be trying to save them, but Garrus knew she was never completely comfortable being the council's right hand . In her heart, she was an Alliance solider. And she always would be. That was okay, it was a part of her. And maybe when this was all over he would be able to convince her to finally settle down, let the memories fade to nothing but another nightmare.

Thane thought she was serious. She wasn't. Garrus had rarely heard her laugh, but when she did it was impossible not to join her. He remembered one mission, he had been with Kasumi and Shepard. Kasumi said something, he never did figure out what, and Shepard started laughing so hard she couldn't breath. Garrus remembered being jealous, he wanted to say something that made Shepard laugh that hard. She tried to tell jokes a lot, too. Not that they were ever particularly funny.

Miranda said she was impatient, always rushing forward. Nothing done soon enough, but that was because they had a time limit and people could die if they waited. She could wait, though, like that time the Mako broke down and Joker couldn't find them for hours. She had joined him and Tali, telling stories of their times before Saren to pass the time. That was the only time Garrus heard her talk about her childhood.

Ashley had called her selfish once, not long before she died. Said that Shepard wanted the glory of stopping Saren all by herself. That was the first time Shepard fought with any of her crew. Garrus knew she wasn't selfish, look at everything she had given up to save anyone she could.

She'd been called disrespectful more times than he could count. But maybe the person hadn't deserved her respect to begin with.

They called her damaged, as if Akuze had broken her, Saren destroyed her, and the Collecters had taken what little remained. But she was strong, and she kept fighting. Shepard pushed through, she endured. That was part of what Garrus respected about her.

They all said she was dead. But they were wrong, they were always wrong about her. He knew her, she wouldn't just die. She wouldn't leave him, not now, not ever. There was no Vakarian without Shepard.