Disclaimer: Mwahaha, I don't own any of this, because if I did, then Sirius
would not have....yeah, anyways....just read. Please
Chapter 1 Sirius's Serious Mistake
Trust is hard to come by. Once you have it, it's best not to throw it away. I made that mistake. Go figure. I hadn't meant for things to get out of control like that. I hadn't meant to lose my temper. I hadn't meant....well, what did it matter what I meant or not. My decision had been made, and it had obviously been the bad one.
Ever since Snape confronted me about Remus a few nights ago.....disaster, one might say. To put it nicely. None of them had talked to me since. Neither James, Peter, nor, of course, Remus. Who could blame them? Not me. It was my fault, and I know that I deserve their nasty form of punishment. It still hurt though. In fact, knowing that I deserved it made it so much worse.
Snape deserved it too though. Coming after me, saying....what does it matter? My life, almost, seems as if it's come to a complete stand still. What's the point of living if everyone hates me? My own family can't even bear to look at me. Now my friends have turned away. What's the point of living? It seems as if my life is just designed to make other people suffer. I hate making other people Suffer. I guess that's what separates me from the rest of my blasted family. Maybe it'd be better if I just...vanished off the face of the earth.
****
The next morning, I woke up to shushed voices. It was James and Remus talking. About me.
"Why would you want to forgive him? After what he did to you? After what he almost did to Snape?" I heard James' voice say.
"It's been almost a month James. Everyone makes mistakes," Remus's reasonable voice replied.
James said, "Whatever. You think what you want. I still believe he deserves to die and rot in the lowest pits of-"
"Be quiet and let's go eat," Remus snapped and moment's later silence fell in the dormitory. It felt slightly better knowing that Remus wanted to forgive me, but James.... James was my brother. He was the only thing I'd had for a family since I was 8 years old.
I turned over onto my side, still thinking. My clock said 8:30, and I knew I had to get up. Hauling myself out of bed just seemed to get harder everyday, and with no friends, it almost seemed unbearable. Everyday though, I manage it somehow.
I quickly got ready and raced down to the Great Hall for breakfast. I saw James, Remus, and Peter sitting together talking and laughing. A pang of guilt, jealousy, and shame came over me. I turned away from them as tears threatened to well up in my eyes. It seemed that I was getting weaker in my old age, no matter how stupid that sounded.
I chose a seat at the end of the table and sat down, just as a girl with dark hair sat down in the seat next to me and collided into my side.
"Ouch!" we both exclaimed. The girl looked over at me. I had never seen her before. She had dark brown hair cascading down he back and brown eyes that seemed to be overly happy.
"Hey," she said cheerfully, looking over at me with a critical eye. She had a slight accent.
"Hi," I answered, noticing her accent and giving her a strange look. She clearly saw and rolled her eyes. "I'm from America, yes. Now let's all stare at the new person who has never been here before. Fascinating, aye?"
"Erm, yes, I s'pose," I answered, not sure what to make of this odd witch. Suddenly she held out her hand and stated, "I'm Natalie Naberrie. And you would be.....silent?"
Astonishingly enough, I laughed at her. "I'm Sirius."
"Yeah, right. You do seem to be a bit...solemn. Now what's your name?"
"No, my name is Sirius. It's a common misconception."
"Is that so? Well that would mean you're named after a star of some sort. Imagine that."
"I guess."
"Hey Natalie!" some boy called out, and came over to sit down. "Is this the Gryffyndor table? Fascinating. I feel so special."
Natalie sighed and rolled her eyes. "This is my insane brother, Ben. We're twins. Can you tell? No, I guess not. Oh well. Oh, and Ben, this is Sirius."
"Well, that's not very nice. So what if he's not has hyper as you, that doesn't mean you have to call him mean names."
"No, my name is Sirius, like the star," I explained.
"Oh, right. I'm not slow, no really, I'm not," Ben joked. "You look rather lonely, you know that dude?"
"Yeah, surely you have friends around here somewhere," Natalie added.
"Don't call him Surly, that's not very nice," exclaimed Ben in mock outrage.
"Stuff it bro," Natalie whispered.
"I....well, trust is a hard thing to lose," I answered. To my surprise, Natalie and Ben nodded their agreement.
**********
A.N: Ok, how was that? Horrible? I agree. Oh well. It's supposed to get better. Doesn't mean it will, but hey. I'm doing my best. Anyways, if any of you feel like being nice to the little newbie, please review, flame, spit, curse (well, please don't), whatever else is to your great liking. There will be more chapters.
Chapter 1 Sirius's Serious Mistake
Trust is hard to come by. Once you have it, it's best not to throw it away. I made that mistake. Go figure. I hadn't meant for things to get out of control like that. I hadn't meant to lose my temper. I hadn't meant....well, what did it matter what I meant or not. My decision had been made, and it had obviously been the bad one.
Ever since Snape confronted me about Remus a few nights ago.....disaster, one might say. To put it nicely. None of them had talked to me since. Neither James, Peter, nor, of course, Remus. Who could blame them? Not me. It was my fault, and I know that I deserve their nasty form of punishment. It still hurt though. In fact, knowing that I deserved it made it so much worse.
Snape deserved it too though. Coming after me, saying....what does it matter? My life, almost, seems as if it's come to a complete stand still. What's the point of living if everyone hates me? My own family can't even bear to look at me. Now my friends have turned away. What's the point of living? It seems as if my life is just designed to make other people suffer. I hate making other people Suffer. I guess that's what separates me from the rest of my blasted family. Maybe it'd be better if I just...vanished off the face of the earth.
****
The next morning, I woke up to shushed voices. It was James and Remus talking. About me.
"Why would you want to forgive him? After what he did to you? After what he almost did to Snape?" I heard James' voice say.
"It's been almost a month James. Everyone makes mistakes," Remus's reasonable voice replied.
James said, "Whatever. You think what you want. I still believe he deserves to die and rot in the lowest pits of-"
"Be quiet and let's go eat," Remus snapped and moment's later silence fell in the dormitory. It felt slightly better knowing that Remus wanted to forgive me, but James.... James was my brother. He was the only thing I'd had for a family since I was 8 years old.
I turned over onto my side, still thinking. My clock said 8:30, and I knew I had to get up. Hauling myself out of bed just seemed to get harder everyday, and with no friends, it almost seemed unbearable. Everyday though, I manage it somehow.
I quickly got ready and raced down to the Great Hall for breakfast. I saw James, Remus, and Peter sitting together talking and laughing. A pang of guilt, jealousy, and shame came over me. I turned away from them as tears threatened to well up in my eyes. It seemed that I was getting weaker in my old age, no matter how stupid that sounded.
I chose a seat at the end of the table and sat down, just as a girl with dark hair sat down in the seat next to me and collided into my side.
"Ouch!" we both exclaimed. The girl looked over at me. I had never seen her before. She had dark brown hair cascading down he back and brown eyes that seemed to be overly happy.
"Hey," she said cheerfully, looking over at me with a critical eye. She had a slight accent.
"Hi," I answered, noticing her accent and giving her a strange look. She clearly saw and rolled her eyes. "I'm from America, yes. Now let's all stare at the new person who has never been here before. Fascinating, aye?"
"Erm, yes, I s'pose," I answered, not sure what to make of this odd witch. Suddenly she held out her hand and stated, "I'm Natalie Naberrie. And you would be.....silent?"
Astonishingly enough, I laughed at her. "I'm Sirius."
"Yeah, right. You do seem to be a bit...solemn. Now what's your name?"
"No, my name is Sirius. It's a common misconception."
"Is that so? Well that would mean you're named after a star of some sort. Imagine that."
"I guess."
"Hey Natalie!" some boy called out, and came over to sit down. "Is this the Gryffyndor table? Fascinating. I feel so special."
Natalie sighed and rolled her eyes. "This is my insane brother, Ben. We're twins. Can you tell? No, I guess not. Oh well. Oh, and Ben, this is Sirius."
"Well, that's not very nice. So what if he's not has hyper as you, that doesn't mean you have to call him mean names."
"No, my name is Sirius, like the star," I explained.
"Oh, right. I'm not slow, no really, I'm not," Ben joked. "You look rather lonely, you know that dude?"
"Yeah, surely you have friends around here somewhere," Natalie added.
"Don't call him Surly, that's not very nice," exclaimed Ben in mock outrage.
"Stuff it bro," Natalie whispered.
"I....well, trust is a hard thing to lose," I answered. To my surprise, Natalie and Ben nodded their agreement.
**********
A.N: Ok, how was that? Horrible? I agree. Oh well. It's supposed to get better. Doesn't mean it will, but hey. I'm doing my best. Anyways, if any of you feel like being nice to the little newbie, please review, flame, spit, curse (well, please don't), whatever else is to your great liking. There will be more chapters.