Letter$
Summary: It's Travi$ and ConNOr's birthday, and they're asking their mom for something special – through a letter, of course! It's been over nine months, though. Rated K. Happy Birthday to everyone who's born in October!
[Author's Note]: 3
C - Riordan
.:Dedicated to: Uncle, Clyde and Sister, HPotter:.
-Letter 1-
...
9 months ago
Dear Travis and Connor,
So, how is camp? I am just aching to see my little boys again! You didn't steal anything this time from the store, did you? I am still disappointed; I still remember the Victoria's Secret accident, when you stole those bras from the rack – which were extra large, mind you – and wore them in front of my boss, the clerk woman chasing you all over the store. And those thongs? Don't even get me started, boys! Oh well, you two remind me of your father: Immature, stupid yet adorable, which is why I fell in love with him in the first place. My, from these pictures, both of you have grown a lot! I wish I could be there with you, but sadly, I cannot. I miss you boys. I know this will be hard, but, behave yourselves (or, at least try)!
Wait, you two look incredibly skinny. What happened? I'm very concerned.
I'm sorry if this is short, but I have to go. Send me some pictures, okay?
Kisses, my boys.
Love,
Your mum – Ms. Stoll
P.S: don't directly ask me for money any more. Sorry, but I'm taking away your allowance until the bills are gone. Remember the numerous vases you broke at the museum we went to for your cousin's birthday? Yeah, that's why.
xxx
Letter 2
-9 months later-
xxx
Dear mum,
How are thing$ back at home? Are they great?
It'$ almo$t our birthday! And gue$$ what? We haven't gotten in trouble during the la$t couple of day$ — an intriguing achievement for thi$ wonderful, $uper-awe$some, plea$sant [-the word twins have been scrabbled out and replaced-] family! We love you, mother, y'know that? I know we don't $ay it that much, but that'$ because we barely $ee each other! $o, how'$ work? Manage to get that $tupid lawyer off your back? Got a rai$e? We bet you did!
Oh, and by the way: Travi$ ha$ a cru$h on Katie Gardner!
[Travis punches Connor in the face]
[Connor pushes him off]
Anyway, we ju$t wanted to say 'hello' and $tuff like that! And that bra… The charm told us to give it to Katie! I – we – mean that $he punched him in the place where a charming man $houldn't be punched, but, it wa$ totally worth it!
Love you, mum!
Love,
Travi$ and Connor $toll
P.$: $orry for the delay… A lot of $tuff ha$ been going on at camp… Enjoy the picture!
Letter #3
Dear Travis and ConNOr,
To my kNOwledge, everything is NOrmal around here, not many deaths or felons escaping jail - its NOon here, what time is it at Camp HalfBlood?
Oh, and I did NOt forget! It's not in NOvember, is it? I kNOw when your birthday is, my boys - trust me, after going through a whole day of labor, I would never forget! Plus, mothers kNOw everything. And yes, I did enjoy that picture - it certainly was NOt NOthing, but definitely something! I showed it to my co-workers; they thought it was more than cute! So, who is this Katie GardNOr? Oh, excuse me: Gardner. My bad. Am I growing old? (you kNOw what to say)
Oh, and Chiron sent me a letter; you two burned down a cabin. You guys lied to me! And yes, I got a new job.
While this certainly seems a NOtable and inNOvative program, NOw my schedule is abNOrmally full, and I'm not sure when I can visit you two because of this problem. I find this circumstance rather anNOying, as it would be an hoNOr to join you in camp, but sadly, I am but a mere mortal who bore offsprings, and must continue my life before going to Hades. NOrmally l could find the time to broaden my ecoNOmic kNOwledge later. However, NOw I simply canNOt do it at this moment, and will have to attend the meeting for this…problem aNOther time, sadly. Boys, please – I implore you! – don't make my life harder than it is.
Thank your father that you anNOying little brats are becoming older and wiser.
Remember to study, because astroNOmy is hard – even if it's about the constellations – and you can never study eNOugh. I want you two to succeed in life without stealing bras and bikinis!
Also, what do you guys think about painting the kNOb gold?
Love,
Mum
Please NOte: your present will come shortly. I hope you enjoy reading and the NOtebooks! And NO, the fact that you guys sent your letter nine months late doesn't bother me, NOt one bit!
You probably got the joke.
P.S: my birthday is near