Author's Note: My first story! :D It's got sort of a bittersweet feel to it for a first story, but I'm sure people can handle it :)
Warning! THERE WILL BE CITY OF HEAVENLY FIRE SPOILERS. I'm telling you now. If you haven't read CoHF, DO NOT READ THIS STORY. LEAVE RIGHT NOW IF YOU HAVEN'T READ IT. You've been warned.
Characters- Simon and Clary, although Jace makes a cameo appearance for a split second and Isabelle, Alec, Jace, and Magnus are all mentioned.
Pairings- Friendship Climon, mentioned Sizzy and Clace
Well, onto the story! I hope you guys like it! If you do, and even if you don't, please review! I'd love some feedback!
Clary shifted her position in her bed. She shut her eyes tighter, willing sleep to come. Her wish wasn't granted though, and she kept tossing and turning.
There was too much on her mind for her to be able to sleep. Tomorrow was the day. Nothing would ever be the same again. Not that anything had been the same after her brother died in Edom.
Clary finally gave up on trying to rest after around another half hour of failed attempts. She sat slowly up in the master bed.
She swung her legs over the side of the bed as quietly as she could, trying vainly not to wake the sleeping boy next to her. All Jace did was grunt in his sleep and clutch the blankets tighter around him as her warmth became absent.
She felt a quick pang of guilt for just getting up and leaving her boyfriend in the middle of the night, and she wondered briefly what he would do if he woke up and she was gone. She pushed the thought out of her mind though, as she probably wasn't going to be gone all night.
Clary tiptoed quietly out the bedroom, making sure to grab her green zipper jacket as she went. She pulled it on as she sped down the stairs of the Institute, not wanting to take the elevator in case to alarm the others. Her Shadowhunter training and Soundless rune made her as swift and silent as a cat as she took the steps two at a time.
Once she got out of the Institute she shivered and wrapped the jacket around her tighter. The cold October air picked up her hair and whipped her loose ponytail around, sending strands in a flying frenzy around her face. Although, despite her chattering teeth she turned to the left and jogged up to the giant hill beside the Shadowhunter's building.
Clary settled on top of the damp grass, not caring if her red loose cotton pajama pants got wet. She curled her legs into her chest, wrapping her arms around her knees and resting her chin on them, her mind swarming.
It was really going to happen. A year ago if anyone told her what event was going to take place the next day, she wouldn't have considered the possibility for a millisecond. It was too bittersweet to be true.
And yet it was true. She had gone from relying on her friendship with her best friend blindly, to losing him in an instant. She knew that going to Edom a year ago would only bring bad things, but the thought she would lose him this way hadn't even crossed her mind.
What if it doesn't work? The negative part of her brain kicked in suddenly and she shut her eyes tightly. What if the Marks burn him? What if he can't handle it? What if the Clave changes their mind? Oh Angel, what if he changes his mind?
Clary mentally kicked herself. He won't change his mind. He won't, he can't. Can he? Shadowhunting is dangerous, and Simon never had the Angel's blood in in his veins. Even when he knew her. She was the one who dragged him into everything, and she felt as if this was being forced upon him, even though the rational part of her argued it wasn't at all.
"How did I have the feeling you would be here?"
Clary jumped. She had been so lost in her thoughts she hadn't heard Simon approach, even with her runes that heightened her senses.
The sound of grass crunching beside her made her turn her head and smile at him. "I like to-"
"Come to high ground when you're upset."
Clary gaped at him, and he looked slightly embarrassed. "Sorry. I have no idea what that was. It just popped into my brain, like a fact I learned in third grade that I suddenly remember."
Clary felt a sharp pang of sadness in her stomach. She looked ahead fixatedly. "That was another thing about me only you knew," She explained, her voice on the verge of cracking.
Silence fell between them, but thankfully it wasn't awkward. It wasn't comfortable, like it usually had felt before he lost his memory, but it didn't feel like they were strangers, which nearly choked Clary.
"I'm sorry," Simon repeated suddenly, and Clary looked at him in surprise at his tone. "I really am."
"For what?"
"For what happened," Simon swallowed. "I'm sorry I don't remember."
Clary stared at him incredulously. "Simon, it's not your fault." She said in a firm tone, but he didn't seem to hear her.
"I feel like I owe you. Every time I'm with you, my head hurts. Every time I see you, something goes off in my mind, like an alarm or notification, like I was supposed to do something that I forgot to do. I see the sadness in your eyes when you look at me when I don't remember something, and I feel like it's my fault. Maybe it was, I don't remember, obviously, but… I'm sorry. I'm sorry Clary."
Clary was speechless as she stared at him. She stared at the shape of his jaw, hardening with age, his dark chocolate brown eyes, the slight curl of his brown hair at the ends, his eyelashes nearly brushing the lens of his glasses. She fought off the tears glistening in her eyes that threatened to fall down. She wanted to curl up and bawl like a baby. But all she did was scoot closer to him and rest her head on his shoulder.
Somewhat to her surprise he immediately rested his head on the top of hers, and sniffed. Was he trying not to cry too?
Once she gathered her voice Clary spoke, quiet and soft.
"You were a hero. I know you've heard that lots of times, but I mean it." She paused, but before he responded she started up again.
"We were in Edom. I'm sure you know what that is by now. We had to defeat my brother, and we did. Although, we were trapped. No way out of the demon realm." Clary took a breath, aware that he's probably been told this story by the others who knows how many times, but she had to keep going. She had to make him understand. "Asmodeus, Ma- a demon, was our only chance of getting back to our dimension. He wanted to take away Magnus's immortality, and that meant Magnus would die and the rest of us would get out. No one was up for it, except Magnus. We were stuck on what to do, but you, you said you were willing to give Asmodeus your vampire immortality, in place of Magnus's." Her voice wavered slightly. "You hated being a vampire, and you figured you would just go back to being a normal mundane. Until- until Asmodeus asked for another thing. He wanted your memories." This time her voice did crack, but it didn't lower or rise in volume. "Your memories of The Shadow World. Of your friends. You were well-loved by us, and had a girlfriend. Isabelle." He sucked in a shaky breath. "You were willing to throw away everything in your life that mattered at that moment so we could live. For us. You did not, no matter how much we pleaded you not to. You're a hero, Simon. People call me and Jace and Isabelle and Alec heroes of the Dark War, but you're the hero. You're the one who got us back to our world. You're the one whose heart is so pure that you sacrificed your happiness for ours. Don't ever apologize for not remembering again. Promise me."
This time Clary was sure Simon was crying. It was quiet crying, but she could tell nonetheless. His voice was strained as he replied hoarsely, "I promise."
"Good." Clary laced her fingers through his as they both sat there in the darkness, tears rolling down their faces. Clary breathed in his familiar scent that she thought she'd be able to drown in again, once he's been Turned into a vampire. The scent of his deodorant that smelled like wood to Clary-but it didn't smell bad-coffee, and cat fur. It was oddly comforting.
They were silent for so long that Clary was sure their conversation for the night was over. However, Simon spoke again.
"Why are you upset?"
Clary did a double take. "What?"
"You come to high ground when you're upset, remember? Why are you upset?" His hand gave hers a squeeze.
Clary took a deep breath. "I was thinking about you. You Ascend tomorrow."
Simon mirrored her deep sigh. "You can't sleep for the same reason as me then, huh?"
Clary nodded, moving his head up and down. "I… I'm- well, never mind."
"Tell me."
Clary closed her eyes. "I'm afraid you might decide not to Ascend into a Shadowhunter."
Simon huffed out a laugh. "And give up you and Izzy when I only just got you girls back? My life feels like it's not missing anything anymore. I feel- complete when I'm in the Shadow World, despite my not remembering anything. It's disorienting, but reassuring."
The corners of Clary's mouth quirked up. "Us girls? Makes you sound like a player a little bit."
She felt Simon smile into her fiery hair. "Dang it, you caught me. My act's over."
Clary laughed and smiled. "Sorry to darken the mood again, but I have another question."
"Shoot."
"What Shadowhunter name will you be taking?"
Simon straightened and looked away. Clary shot him a look, but quickly became amused when she realized it was just so she wouldn't see his blush.
"Oh, right. Well," He cleared his throat. "Um… Izyoferedhrlstnmetome."
Clary raised her eyebrows and leaned toward him, her tone teasing. "Sorry? I didn't catch that last part."
Simon cleared his throat again, and said slower, his cheeks red, "Izzy offered the Lightwood name to me."
"Oh did she? So, you're being invited into the Lightwood family? Why is that?" Clary asked innocently. Simon looked down at her, but once he saw her expression frowned playfully.
"Oh clam it, Fray."
Clary's muscles tensed momentarily. "Fray? My last name is Fairchild."
Simon shrugged, not noticing her actions. "I don't know where that came from either. Fray just sounds right with you."
Clary hid her delight and regret. She leaned her head back against Simon, smiling. He squeezed her hand and they fell into silence.
"I have one more thing I want to talk to you about." Simon spoke up again, and the serious tone to his voice made Clary a little nervous. She braced herself, waiting for him to continue.
"I want to be your Parabatai."
Again, Clary's voice seemed to have run and left her speechless. "P-parabatai?"
"I know it's a big deal," Simon went on. "But I want to be close to you. I want to remember what we had. Being Parabatai with you just seems right. We'd always be connected."
"Of course," Clary replied instantly. She'd never thought that she would get a Parabatai. She honestly hadn't wanted one. But the thought of becoming Parabatai with Simon, with being connected with him, felt right.
After all, she already was connected with him in a way. No matter what demon took away Simon's memories, Prince of Hell or not, she would always be with Simon, and vice versa. Simon was hers, and she was Simon's. The thought brought a peace over her she never thought she'd associate with her best friend since his memories were stolen.
She squeezed his hand and smiled. "Of course I'll be your Parabatai, Simon Lewis."
"Lightwood," He corrected, and she closed her eyes. "Simon Lightwood. I'm a Shadowhunter."
His last sentence seemed to be enough for Clary to lose the battle with her exhaustion. She finally fell into sleep's fingers, with Simon holding her hand, and her leaning on him. They would always be connected.