These Four Walls
This is just a little songfic I put together about our boys, starting at the episode right after the joke of wedding held for Nick and Gabi. Just felt like going back in time, is all. Enjoy, lovelies, (Oh and, this is the first fic I've written that is actually getting posted… be gentle!) Happy reading!
The song is These Four Walls by Little Mix. It's a beautiful song, with a haunting melody. And the harmonies and these girls' beautiful voices just make the song that much better. Give it a listen.
(This is a switcheroo between Will and Sonny's POVs. Just to avoid confusion.)
WILL POV
I feel so numb, staring at the shower wall,
It's begun, the feeling that the end has come,
And now the water's cold…
It's a miracle, the fact that I'd even been able to drag myself out bed this morning. I stand in the shower, and let the saltiness of the teardrops falling out of my eyes mix and mingle with the water streaming from the shower head. I don't really know how long I've been in here, so It's a shock to me when the once warm water that was streaming down my back begins to feel like a thousand ice cold needles piercing my skin. I turn off the water and climb out.
I tried to eat today, but the lump in my throat got in the way,
In this time, I've lost all sense of pride,
I've called a hundred times, if I hear your voice, I'll be fine…
I of course had to get my stuff from our, excuse me, Sonny's apartment. With nowhere else to go, I had to move back in with Mom. We're sitting at the table. She's eating breakfast. I can feel her eyes on me; I know what she wants me to do. My appetites gone, has been since that damn wedding, but to make her happy, (because if there's anyone in this situation that should be feeling no pain it's mom, aside from him, of course.) I pick up my fork and put some of the scrambled eggs in it, and lift it to my lips. And then it hits me. The memory of Sonny cooking us breakfast in our newly shared apartment. He woke up early in order to make a spectacular breakfast for us, scrambled eggs and bacon, and pancakes. We were so happy. It hits me so hard, I don't even realize I'm choking until I hear Allie call out and feel mom beating me on the back to help get me breathing again.
After I'm calmed down, I retreat back to my room, ignoring my family's concerned stares. I pick up my cellphone from my nightstand and, hitting the dial button, feel my fingers hit the series of numbers that have become so familiar to me in the past year. He doesn't answer, but the sound of his answering machine, "Hi, you've reached Sonny Kiriakis, I'm sorry I can't come to the phone right now, but please leave your name and number and I'll get back to you as soon as possible, thank-you!" Is in his voice, so it's enough for now.
And I, I can't come alive, I want the room to take me under,
Cause I can't help but wonder, what if I had one more night for goodbye,
If you're not here to turn the lights off, I can't sleep.
These four walls, and me.
I had somehow made it through another day in school. I'm lying in bed, ready for a nap, thinking back on how things used to be, and I can't help but wonder. "Would things be different if I had just told him the truth? Would he have understood, or would we be in the same predicament as now?" Either way, if I had just kept my mouth shut at that wedding, I would've had at least one more night with him. With my Sonny. I feel the tears prick my eyes, and I sigh as I give in to them.
There's no way I'm getting any sleep.
I lay in bed, can't seem to leave your side.
Your pillow's wet, from these tears I've cried.
I won't say goodbye.
SONNY POV
I got no sleep last night.
All I can remember is crying while lying alone in our bed, my bed. I must've drifted off for a while, but I'm not feeling the effects of what little rest I did get. I unlock my phone to check the time, and a picture of Will's smiling face looks back at me. I know I did this to myself, and that makes it hurt worse. But he lied to me. He obviously felt like he could let me go at some point; that doesn't mean the feeling is reciprocated, though. I'll keep this picture of him. It'll stay my homescreen for as long as it takes me to get over him. "Like that'll ever happen."
I tried to smile today, then I realized there's no point anyway.
In this time, I've lost all sense of pride.
I've called a thousand times, if I hear your voice, I'll be fine…
I sit at the booth in the far back corner of Common Grounds, half listening as Brian regaled me with stories that featured him as the hero in a college frat boy setting. He finished up with an "it was so brilliant. You should've seen me out there!" And I send him a half smile. It disappears when I see Gabi and Nick step inside of the coffee house to get out of the cold January air. Gabi is starting to show now. Her stomach getting rounder with the baby "Will's baby" inside of it.
It's amazing the effect the thought of him has on me. I pick up my phone, and consider letting my fingers glide over the keypad, to dial that number and have him pick up so that I can hear his voice again; at least one more time. But I don't. I put the phone back down, and continue encouraging Brian to tell more of his boring stories. Anything to keep my mind occupied.
And I, I can't come alive, I want the room to take me under,
Cause I can't help but wonder what if I, had one more night for goodbye,
If you're not here to turn the lights off, I can't sleep.
It was the last thing they both expected, meeting like this. Here. They stand at an impasse in the middle of the Horton Town Square. The can both feel the stares of their families watching, ready to step in if need be.
"Sonny, I…"
"Will, I'm…"
They both fall silent. And the world gets quiet. It gets so, so quiet. And no one knows how long they stand there, desperately waiting for the other to say something. Anything.
The soft sound of a cell phone is enough to bring everyone out of their reverie. Sonny answers the phone with one last pleading look in Will's direction, but the moment is lost. He turns and walks away, leaving Will and both their families in the Square, uncertain if this was the last chance they'd had to fix things. Pretty soon, everyone clears out, but the haunting melody of the music set as Sonny's ringtone rings in everyone's minds. It just seemed appropriate.
These four walls, and me.
Three pages on Microsoft Word
Word Count: 1,252