Prompt: Resist temptation to forget what you changed, the best part of you...
(written for waltzmatildah)
Tossing some cool water onto her face, Gail stares at her reflection in the mirror. Maybe it's her imagination, but she can barely recognize herself anymore. It's like the longer she lives Beth's life, the longer she starts to lose herself. The longer she starts to want Beth's life and all the people in it.
People like Luke.
Falling for Beth's boyfriend was never part of the job. She was just supposed to empty out their savings account and run, finally giving Gail the chance to financially provide for her daughter, Kira.
If everything had gone according to plan, she would never have even set eyes on him. He would have been just a guy in a picture, quickly forgotten about and never spared a second thought. But then he came home early and it all went downhill from there.
(She'd never admit it to her foster brother, Dov, but that first night on the kitchen counter was easily a top five.)
So she continued going through the motions with Luke, continued stringing along the clueless vanilla boyfriend for as long as needed.
(Besides, it wasn't like it was a chore to sleep with him; he was hot, had a great body and knew exactly what to do with it.)
But then she found out the truth about him, that he was a monitor planted to observe her, and it ached more than it should have. Everything that ever happened between them had been a lie. He was never Luke the boring suit but Luke the ex-military spy.
(Yes, she sees the irony there.)
It was in this headspace that he found her in when unexpectedly popping in twenty minutes earlier. Panicking, Gail made up some bullshit excuse about food poisoning and ran into the bathroom. She wasn't ready for this confrontation yet, not when she hasn't even sorted through her own twisted feelings.
A soft knock on the door brings her crashing back to reality. He still hasn't left and it makes her extremely angry with him.
"Can't you take a hint? Leave me alone Luke." She yells out, not wanting to deal with him tonight of all nights.
He doesn't take the hint and keeps knocking.
"Beth, what's going on?" The B-word is like a bucket of cold water. She's being ridiculous. She could never be with Luke, no matter how great the sex is. She's not Beth, she'll never be Beth. She's just been allowing herself to be led around by her cunt and that shit doesn't fly with her.
Taking a deep breath, Gail opens the bathroom door and sees Luke leaning against the door frame, a contrite look on his face. She did not expect him to be so close and the scent of him drives her nuts.
"I'm sorry for earlier. I hate when we fight." He apologizes in a low voice, referring to that stupid fight they had that morning.
Gail doesn't know why, but seeing him like this does it for her. It makes her want to drag him into the shower with her like she did last night, her face pressed up against the shower door as he fucked her senselessly from behind.
But that was before.
"Whatever. Just go." She says, turning around to re-enter the bathroom, a ragged breath escaping her. It sounds pathetic and weak and she hates how much this whole situation is affecting her.
"If that's what you want." He says and she nods. She hears the door shut behind her and her shoulders sag a tiny bit, and she hates herself a little more for it.
For a moment she feels victorious. She was able to push him away even when she was screaming on the inside.
"You know what," his voice startles her. She whips around and sees the door thrown open, his chest rapidly heaving. "That's not what I want."
"What do you want?" Gail manages, her throat raw, her chest rising and falling just as rapidly. Stepping directly in front of her, his eyes pierce hers and for a moment, she wonders if he can really see her, the real Gail.
"You." She thinks he's going to kiss her but he doesn't. Instead, he turns her around and presses her against the bathroom counter.
"Luke-" she begins but stops when she feels his fingers trail up the sides if her neck, pushing her hair to one side.
"Sshh" he whispers against the back of her neck and she feels it down to her toes. Her body hums to life beneath his fingertips. No one has ever made her body respond so quickly. His hands slide down her hips and she feels him grind against her from behind. Next he undoes the fly on her jeans and shoves his hand down her underwear, his mouth eagerly sucking on her throat. Gail leans her head back to give him better access, her lower abdomen tightening with every stroke of his fingers against her clit.
To hell with it she thinks and turns around, attacking his mouth with her own.