Intelligent Fish Steal Food
Late last night an object was reported entering Earth's atmosphere near New York City. It was seen by local resident Wyclef Duval. He comments "It was all burnin' up an' stoff ya know mon. I thought i' was a shootin' sta' or sometin'. But den' I saw this dis' symbo' like ting on it, den I knew it wan't no shootin' sta'." Police arrived on the scene soon after the object crashed down. The only statement from the White House is "Go away!" but apparently something has emerged from the "ship".We have reports from eyewitness Terrance Walpole "The bloody giant fish attacked my house! It ate every Cookie and Cheese Sandwich I had!" The beast has been reported seen in Florida. We have a comment from Hank Arthur Jackson otherwise known as Tex "That giant bass took my daughters Lacrosse equipment and my best milkin' cow Ol' Bertha." The beast has been seen looting grocery stores all over the state and has not yet been subdued. General Amringer comments "We are going to try and drop a bomb full of poisons onto the fish and kill it that way." The fish is still loose in Florida and is still on a rampage. It was last seen near Daytona Beach looting a Publix. Watch out for this beast and if you see it call 1-800-983-0122.-Taylor