A/N: This is set a few weeks after the Season 5 opener, Search and Rescue, and contains spoilers for that episode. It also contains explicit sexual content, 'cause you can't write a good John/Teyla story without it! LOL! I hope you enjoy this. Please leave a review if you do. By the way, I completely ignored Kanaan in this story because I want him to go away! :)
Settling In – a story by Tripwatcher
As John, Ronon, Rodney, and Jennifer came through the 'gate, John quickly scanned the room for Teyla. In disappointment, he realized she wasn't there. They had only been gone for four days, but to John it seemed like forever since he had seen her -- her and Torren. Although the baby was only a few weeks old, he had already secured a place in John's heart. Sometimes it scared him, how much he had come to feel towards the baby Teyla had born, the baby who carried his name. Torren John Emmagan, a fine name indeed, as he so often loved to remind Rodney!
John watched as Jennifer headed to the infirmary to check in with her staff and Ronon and Rodney both headed down the hall towards the cafeteria. Although the inhabitants of the somewhat primitive planet had offered, the team members had realized that their food stores were very low and so had not eaten much while they were there, except their own power bars and MRE's. It was all Ronon and Rodney had talked about on the way back to the 'gate -- how they were planning to eat until they were stuffed as soon as they got back to Atlantis.
John quickly briefed Woolsey on the mission and asked how things had gone in their absence. Woolsey assured him that all had been very quiet, which John was relieved to hear. The entire time they were gone, his thoughts had been back on Atlantis, thinking of Teyla and Torren. Almost to his quarters, it suddenly occurred to John that he had been thinking of them like a man who was worried about his family. That is what they were to him, he realized -- family. He quickly showered, shaved, and then headed to Teyla's quarters.
In the hallway outside of her room, John ran his hand nervously through his hair, waiting for her to respond to the door chime. The sight that greeted him made his eyes widen in apprehension. Teyla stood before him, her clothes and hair more disheveled than he had ever seen them, bouncing a crying Torren on her shoulder. She had dark circles under her eyes and looked as if she had been crying right along with the wailing infant.
John had never seen her so out of sorts before and he said the first thing that came to his mind "You look awful! What's the matter?" In retrospect, he realized it wasn't the wisest thing to blurt out because tears rolled down Teyla's cheeks and she quickly turned away from him. In a shaky voice she said "I am sorry. It is just that he has not slept more than eight hours in the last three days -- and neither have I. I knew that raising a child on my own would be difficult but I never expected…I never knew…that it would be like this!" Her shoulders shook as she continued to cry quietly while Torren hiccupped and prepared for another round of wailing.
John stepped around in front of her. He held out his hands and took the baby from her, then laid him on the bed, placing pillows around him as he had seen Teyla do. Torren, surprised by the abrupt change of scenery, left off crying but snuffled with his hand in his mouth. It wouldn't be long before he started up again with the wailing but John ignored him momentarily and turned back towards Teyla. He approached her cautiously, not quite sure how to handle this particular situation, and not wanting to say or do anything else stupid to upset her. She stood where he had left her, looking as if she would collapse from exhaustion at any moment.
Teyla was looking down at the floor and John put a finger under her chin, bringing her face up so that he could see her eyes. He looked down at her sympathetically. "I'm sorry it's been so bad the last few days and I'm sorry I wasn't here to help. Look, let me take him for a couple of hours so you can get some rest, maybe take a relaxing bath or something." Teyla smiled gratefully. "That is very sweet of you, John, but I cannot ask you to babysit my screaming child." John grinned at her. "I'll take him for a walk around on the piers. He always calms down when we go outside, you know? And, if he keeps crying, I'll take him to see good ol' Uncle Ronon or Uncle Rodney." Teyla laughed out loud, the first time she had done so since John had left on this last mission. How she had missed him! On impulse, Teyla stepped towards him and wrapped her arms around his waist, while his arms came instinctively around her. They stood like that for several long moments, drawing comfort from each other.
Torren's cries began again and they stepped apart, both feeling a little awkward. "So, uh, you still got bottles in the freezer?" John asked, a little red-faced. He knew that Teyla had been breast feeding Torren but also pumping extra milk and storing it in a small freezer he had had installed in the corner of her room. She wanted to be prepared in case she had to leave the baby for any length of time and baby formula was not part of the normal food requisitions on Atlantis. Teyla nodded her head and walked over to the small freezer where quite a few bottles of frozen milk lined the top shelf. She removed two of them and placed them in the backpack she used as a diaper bag. She also made sure there were plenty of diapers, baby wipes, and a change of clothes in the pack as well.
As Teyla looked up from packing Torren's bag, her breath caught at the sight of John carefully cradling the infant in his arms, all the while talking to him softly. It never affected her this way when Ronon, Rodney, or any other person held Torren, only John. She quickly shifted her mind away from these thoughts, not wanting to think too hard about why she felt this way at seeing John interact with her son. "Here is his bag. You should have everything you need to take care of him for a couple of hours. I do appreciate you doing this, John." Teyla leaned down to kiss the top of Torren's head, amazed that the baby already seemed calmer now that he was being held by John. Maybe, she thought to herself, Torren had simply been sensing her anxiety and distress as she missed John these last few days.
"I'll take good care of him, Teyla. We'll be fine. Now, get some rest -- that's an order!" He smiled at her and she returned it readily, and then watched as the two most important men in her life left her quarters. As the door slid shut, Teyla sighed and simply stood there, enjoying the quiet. She loved her son with all her heart, but his incessant crying these last few days had taken its toll on her nerves. She began shedding her rumpled clothes as she walked towards the bathroom, humming happily to herself at the thought of a hot shower and a couple of hours of uninterrupted sleep. She knew that Torren was in good hands with John. He had spent quite a bit of time with them since rescuing both of them from Michael's ship, and she had seen the way he cared for her son. As Teyla stretched out on the bed, she again pictured John cradling Torren and she smiled as she drifted off to sleep.
When Teyla woke, her first thoughts were panic and she quickly sat up in bed looking around. Why was it so quiet in her room? Where was Torren? It took her a moment to remember that John was babysitting him so that she could get some rest. She sighed in relief but then noticed the darkness of the room. How long had she been asleep? Teyla turned to the small clock on the bedside table and was shocked to see that it has been a little over eight hours since she had laid down. She couldn't believe that she had slept for so long! John had kept Torren for eight hours? But he hadn't taken enough milk or diapers for that length of time!
She quickly rose and crossed to the small freezer. Sure enough, several more bottles of frozen breast milk were gone. John must have come back in while she was sleeping and gotten more bottles and diapers for Torren -- and she had slept right through it! What kind of a mother was she? Ruefully, she shook her head, realizing that she must have been even more exhausted than she had thought. She reached for her headset, put the earpiece in place and keyed the mic, calling for John to respond. She frowned when she received no response. It wasn't like John not to stay in radio contact with her.
Telling herself not to panic or think negative thoughts, Teyla quickly brushed her teeth, dressed, and headed out in search of John. She felt bad at leaving him to care for Torren for such a long time, and hoped that the baby had not been too much trouble. He usually acts better for John then me anyway, she mused silently to herself. As she rounded the corner, she almost ran headlong into Ronon. The large Satedan put his hands on her shoulders to steady her. "Hey Teyla. You okay?" She nodded up at him. "Yes. I was just on my way to try and find John. He is watching Torren for me. Have you seen him?"
Ronon grinned. "Yeah, they were on the east pier for a little while, then I think he took him to the cafeteria -- said something about introducing him to chocolate pudding." Teyla smiled. "Thank you. I will go see if they are still there." She quickly turned and hurried down the hall, with Ronon watching her retreating back. He smiled to himself at the closeness he saw developing between his two friends. He had always thought they were attracted to one another and he could not understand why they did not pursue a relationship. Maybe little Torren John was just the thing to bring them together!
Teyla walked through the entire cafeteria, including the balconies, but saw no sign of John or Torren. She tried the radio again but got no response so she decided to check out John's room. Perhaps he had taken Torren back there and had removed his radio or turned it off. She came to a halt outside his door and reached up to activate the chime, then lowered her hand. If Torren were asleep, she did not want to wake him. John had given her the code, and his permission, to enter his room, but she had never done so before now.
It felt strange to Teyla to enter his room unannounced, too familiar and intimate. As the door slid shut behind her, she blinked several times, allowing her eyes to become accustomed to the lower lighting in the room, compared to the hallway. She could make out John's form on the bed across the room and she walked over to him quietly. Her heart skipped a beat as she took in the sight before her. John and Torren were stretched out in mirror positions on the bed, both on their stomachs, facing each other. John's left hand rested lightly on Torren's back and he had placed several pillows on the opposite side of the sleeping infant.
They looked so peaceful lying there asleep together, and so…..right somehow. Her heart ached as she took a few moments to watch them. Teyla then carefully and quietly moved the pillows and stretched out beside Torren. She lay on her side facing them and tucked one arm under her head while she stretched the other one out to brush her fingers over the baby's soft hair. Soon her hand traveled down his small back soothingly, until it bumped up against John's hand. Teyla watched her own hand brush over his much larger one. She ran a finger over his knuckles and then carefully slid her hand up under his. How would it feel to lay here like this every night, holding his hand, touching him, like a husband, like a father to her son? How would it feel to lie up next to him, without the baby between them?
Teyla gasped as John's hand closed around hers and her eyes flew up to find his open and watching her. How long had he been awake, known she was there? He propped himself up on his elbow but left his other hand entwined with hers on Torren's back. She looked up at him with large dark eyes. "I am sorry if I woke you" she whispered softly. John smiled. "No. It's alright. I'm sorry you had to come down here, though. I intended to bring him back but fell asleep instead. Did you get some rest?" She certainly looked more rested and in much better spirits than she had when he had left her room with Torren earlier. And she had been sound asleep when he had gone back into her room for more bottles of milk and diapers. He knew because he had sat on the side of her bed and watched her for several minutes, even brushed a lock of hair off of her face.
"Yes, I did – thanks to you" she said softly. They simply lay like that, smiling at each other, while John's thumb rubbed small circles on her hand. Too soon, Torren began to stir. Teyla rolled him over onto his back gently and cuddled him up next to her. John continued to lie facing them, enjoying the sight of the two of them in his bed. When Torren began to nuzzle at her chest, Teyla looked up at John, slightly embarrassed. I…really need to…feed him. John's face colored slightly, though she couldn't tell it in the dim light of the room. "Uh, okay…you want me to go or…" he trailed off as Teyla shook her head. "No, no, you do not have to go…unless you want to, I mean. I can just cover up with the sheet or…something." They both stared at each other not sure what to do or how to handle this intimate issue. He was not her husband or Torren's father, but had begun to wish that he were. What would she say if he told her that?
John swallowed thickly, not taking his eyes from Teyla's. "I don't want to go…and I don't want you to either. I…I like you here, both of you. I like…I want…to be part of this…if you want me to be. God, I'm screwing this up, not saying it right, but I…I love you…both of you. And we can keep things like they are, good friends, teammates, or…we can…well, it's up to you. I just want you to know, it's up to you and I…I'll do whatever you want." John cast his eyes down, a little scared at what her reaction would be to his words. He hadn't intended to say it like that, here on his bed, with Torren growing restless between them. It wasn't the romantic, candlelight dinner, bottle of wine, type of setting he'd envisioned but the words had come out of their own volition.
He felt Teyla shift slightly on the bed and he looked up to find her undoing the buttons down the front of her blouse. Her eyes were on Torren and John watched, transfixed, as she bared her breast and the baby hungrily latched on. He sucked greedily for several minutes, his soft smacking, the only sounds in the room. One small fist waved in the air and John reached out to touch it with one finger, only to have Torren grasp on tightly and bring John's finger, and subsequently the back of his hand, down to brush against the side of her full breast. His eyes widened as he stared at his own hand, not knowing what to do, or what Teyla was thinking. What an intimate setting they had suddenly found themselves in, in just the course of one day!
Teyla's heart hammered in her chest so loudly that she was sure John could hear it. It was overwhelming, these feelings she had for him. She had wanted him, loved him for a very long time, but had not acted on those feelings until now. She understood that it would have changed their relationship forever, had they become more than friends or teammates; that it might have created problems for John with his superiors, and that he hadn't been ready for an ongoing relationship. But now – was he saying that he DID want that? He had said he loved her, her and Torren, and she had no doubt that he meant it.
When she looked up to meet his eyes, she said the only thing she could, "I have loved you, wanted you, for so long." Slowly John leaned toward her, mindful of the baby between them. His lips touched hers in a soft caress and she responded in kind, tilting her head slightly. John slowly, tentatively, ran his tongue along her lower lip and Teyla opened for him, allowing him access. It was a long, drawn-out, sensual kiss that left them both breathless. They lay on their sides facing each other, John slightly over her, with their foreheads together.
John looked down to find that Torren had fallen asleep up against Teyla. "You, uh, want me to put him in the bassinet?" He had brought the portable one with him that afternoon and had set it up but then had fallen asleep with Torren on his bed, which is where Teyla had found them. Teyla nodded her agreement and moved back slightly as John rose and scooped Torren up carefully. As he put the baby up on his shoulder, the little guy let out a burp that would have made Ronon proud. John froze, sure that he would wake up screaming then, but surprisingly, Torren slept on, even as he was laid on his back in the bassinet.
Turning back to the bed, John saw that Teyla had risen up on her knees, facing him. As he approached her, she held out a hand which he readily accepted. He stood in front of her and she reached up to circle his neck with both arms, bringing his mouth down to meet hers. He wrapped his arms around her and brought her flush up against his body, hard chest meeting soft. Their tongues tangled and danced, retreated, tangled again. His mouth finally left hers to trail hot, wet kisses down the side of her neck and then traveled up to nuzzle her ear. Teyla let out soft gasps of pleasure while his talented mouth teased her, aroused her. By the Ancients, he was good at this! She had known, or at least suspected, that his sexual experience far outweighed her own, but wasn't prepared for this erotic assault on her senses. How could just his kisses inflame her like this?
Deciding to turn the tables on him a little, Teyla ran her hands up under his t-shirt and raised it over his head. John pulled back from her slightly to allow her to remove it and Teyla raked her nails lightly back down his chest and over his nipples. Instead of going for his mouth as he expected, she grazed her tongue over his shoulder and bit down slightly, tasting his salty skin. She then kissed around his neck, up under his chin and over to the other shoulder, which she also bit, causing him to growl low in his throat. She smiled against his chest as she kissed her way down to one of his nipples and took the hard pebble into her mouth.
John's hands jerked insistently on her blouse until it was off and flung somewhere behind him. Then he grasped her face in both his hands and brought his mouth to hers for a searing, mind-numbing kiss. Her arms went round him, and her nails dug into his back as she tried to pull him even closer. John pulled her from the bed and stood her before him, then unbuttoned his pants and slid the zipper down. His mouth went dry as he watched Teyla mirror his actions, her own zipper rasping in the quietness of the room. John's eyes never left her hips as he shimmied out of his pants and watched her do the same. Finally, they stood naked and John reached for her.
The sheets were cool under her as he laid her back on them, but the kiss was very hot as he caught her mouth with his. She wrapped her arms around his neck and opened her legs as he remained on his knees above her. John broke her hold on his neck by moving down her body, trailing kisses as he went. Teyla gasped and writhed under him as he sucked one of her dusky nipples into his mouth. He kissed his way over to the other breast and laved the nipple with his tongue. John continued lower and then lower still, while she fairly hummed in anticipation. At the first contact of his mouth on her, Teyla's hips shot off the bed and a strangled moan escaped her throat. He pleasured her with his lips, his tongue, and his hands, until her body contracted with an intense orgasm that caused her to see stars for a few moments.
While her body continued to throb pleasantly, John rose back up over her, resting on his forearms. Her dark eyes met his and held while he slowly, exquisitely, pushed into her body, slid almost all the way back out, and then pushed in again, harder. Teyla brought her hips up to meet his, her legs coming up to wrap high around his waist. She gasped every time he buried himself to the hilt inside her tight core. John's legs became shaky as he plunged into her again and again. He was close, so close, and he pulled back to look at their joined bodies. God, but she was beautiful! He ran his thumb over her sensitive, throbbing nub and heard her moan softly. A few more times, and she arched her back and bit down on her lower lip while the tremors swept through her, sending John tumbling over the edge too, pleasure spiraling through him.
He came back down to rest on his forearms on top of her, his head buried in the curve of her neck while small spasms continued to rock them and he fought to breathe again. Teyla's strong legs, which had been gripping him tightly about the waist, suddenly, bonelessly, slid down to rest on the bed. He rose up to look at her, only to be met with a very satisfied smile on her beautiful face. They were both sweaty from exertion and his hair was even messier than usual. He quirked a grin at her. "We should have done that a long time ago." Teyla agreed and was just about to tell him so when they heard a soft snuffling from the bassinet. She rose up slightly to kiss John softly, tenderly while they both listened for Torren to wake.
When it was clear that the infant was not going to go back to sleep on his own, John slid off the side of the bed and went to retrieve him. After quickly changing his diaper, John brought Torren to Teyla and snuggled up behind her as she turned on her side to feed the baby from the opposite breast as she had earlier. John pulled a light blanket over them and soon they were all three settled in and drifting off to sleep.