It was good at first. No, it was great. But life's not always how you want it to be and how you think it should be. Sometimes you feel like you're living a fairytale world where nothing bad can ever happen, but others it feels as if you're living in a dream world, something that will come to an end. But even fairytales come to an end. There's always a last page and there's always a happy ending. At least in the books. But not always in real life.
And no one would possibly know that better than Xion. She was your average girl, petite with lovely, short black hair and stunning blue eyes that shone and sparkled like jewels, whether sad or happy. And everyone knew of her boyfriend, too. Axel. Red, spiky hair and bright green eyes with weird red stripes going vertically up his cheekbones. They were the "it" couple. Everyone thought they were perfect together. Except for one person; Roxas. A friend of both Xion and Axel; he just didn't think they were good for one another. And not just because he had fallen in love with Xion years ago.
No, his reasons weren't selfish or stemming from his jealousy. His reasons were also his fears. Axel wasn't always the nicest person; sometimes he could get seriously wasted and he would break so many items in the apartment he and Xion shared that it even scared Xion herself. Then again, she always had scared easy. And she was fragile. Skinny and short, she couldn't really stand up to someone like Axel, if need be.
So what if Axel had been hurting her for a long time now and Xion just wasn't saying anything because she was scared and only putting up with it because she loved him and knew he loved her, too? That was what worried Roxas. It was what had been constantly worrying Xion. She was scared. Scared of Axel and even afraid of not being strong enough to handle his rage before she broke down completely. She, under no circumstances, wanted to leave him. She loved him. She really and truly did. Even if he did frighten her.
But in the earliest days of their relationship, he hadn't been drinking. Hadn't ever laid his hands on a bottle or a shot glass. Until he went to hang out with some friends from work. That had gotten him addicted. And the rest is history, and what only people close to Xion now know is normal. No one else knew of the flaws in their relationship. Even Roxas didn't know how bad it truly was. And that broke Xion's heart. They were best friends. All of them. And she was keeping these secrets from Roxas not only for his own safety but for Axel's too.
It was after an especially bad night that she would reminisce about the old days. Just sitting up on the clock tower and watching the sun set, eating ice cream…she wished for those days now more than anything. Even more than relief from Axel's drinking rage and abuse. That was back when she loved him and was only afraid to tell him. Now she was only afraid of actually loving him. Because she felt it would only cause her pain. And she was right. It did.
"You stupid piece of shit, you're worthless, you know that? Worthless!" The scream tore its way out of the intoxicated man's throat, flung at the quivering blackette with rage and hostility. She backed away, her limbs trembling in what she only dreamed was ecstasy. When he was loving, she was calm and happy and her heart was full. Like a piece of chocolate that was stuffed with yummy raspberry-cream filling. But when he was like this, she just tried to separate her mind from her body, trying with all her might to pretend this was someone else hurting her and not her dear best friend, Axel.
He flung the still halfway full bottle on the ground, making it shatter into small pieces, that had it been daytime, would have glittered brightly in the sunlight and the beauty of it would have almost made up for the fact that her worst nightmare was happening. Again. She was losing Axel. And to alcohol no less.
The liquid was practically like lava simmering on her skin, the droplets feeling like numerous comets falling from the sky. She blinked, disoriented from the smash and the alcohol now dripping from her hair and skin. So disoriented, and dazed, still not wanting to believe this was actually Axel that she didn't notice how close he had come to her until her back hit the ground. She stared up at him listlessly, not even willing to fight back. Her only excuse was she couldn't do so because she loved him.
And to anyone else, Roxas included, it would be thought of as pathetic. Axel claimed every day he loved her and yet he still let the alcohol get the best of him and he hurt her. Sometimes it would be just a slap, or a shove, and sometimes even what could be considered rape. Yet she still shuddered in bliss whenever he penetrated her inner walls. And he was doing so to hurt her because he was drunk, not because he loved her and was sober. She was pathetic.
"Axel…" The quiet murmur left her lips, sounding much like a strained whimper, but she made no attempt to move and no more sound. Axel's breathing was ragged, his nostrils flaring dangerously. His eyes glinted, a wolf knowing its' rabbit was willing to die and loving every minute of it. His breath came out in a snarl and he stalked away. But still Xion made no effort to move any part of her body. That was the first time he had ever stalked away after just the first blow. He normally did more damage.
"I'm so confused…does this mean that he'll stop drinking himself insane and all the pain will stop? He's never left after the first hit before, I…" Twin vices clamped down on her chest and stomach and she curled in on herself, her first movement in what had probably been only three minutes, and she began to cry. Bone-wracking sobs that just made the imaginary vices squeeze her tighter, which in turn made her cry harder. "Axel and I were so happy in the beginning. I never thought love could hurt this much!"
Pale fists pounded against the hardwood floor, tears dripping down alongside them and staining the wood a darker shade of brown. It was only sheer hope that he would stop that had kept her in the house for so long but she needed to get out. Now. The walls seemed to be closing in around her, the vices squeezing her even tighter and making it hard to breathe, like she was someone who had asthma, who just happened to be having an attack at this very moment.
She stood up, shaking slightly from her dizzying speed and ran out the door without even grabbing her keys or phone. At least this time there wasn't blood on the beautiful oak floor. The tears were enough to hurt her more than any other time involving blood. So she ran to the only other person she trusted and the one she still believed wouldn't hurt her. But the doubt was beginning to creep up to her, tapping her on the shoulder and saying, "They're all the same. Roxas will eventually hurt you, too." But she couldn't believe it. Didn't want to.
She was nervous and jittery, as if she had just drank a large cup of coffee with double espresso as she knocked on the blonde's door. She looked all around her, every which way, afraid that Axel had never really left her alone and had been watching her through her whole crying fit and had even gone so far as to follow her here. But she didn't see him anywhere. Even behind a tree or a bush, his hair was so spiky, the shade so bright of a red that you'd be able to tell instantly if he was there.
"Hello?" The spiky-haired blonde now stood in his doorway, rubbing his eyes sleepily and trying but failing to stifle a yawn. Xion actually smiled at that. That really was the picture of innocence. That could never hurt her. Right…? The smile faltered, her lips quivering, deciding whether or not to stay up or go right back down into its' well known frown. She was upset that she couldn't even believe that she was truly safe with Roxas.
"Xion, what's wrong?" His eyes took on a pained, worried look as he took in her expression and posture and she knew he was about to ask her if it was Axel but she just couldn't take it. She had to release the water from the dam that the two vices inside of her were squeezing.
"Roxas!" She flung herself into his arms, wanting to feel safe, even for a moment. Something she never felt with Axel hardly at all anymore. "Roxas!" She sobbed, grabbing his nightshirt tightly with her shaking fingers. Roxas looked taken aback for only a second before his face fell into a knowing frown and he looked both directions down the street his apartment was on, probably making sure Axel was nowhere in sight, like Xion had done, and then he pulled her inside, locking the door behind them.
It took quite a few minutes to get the quivering Xion into his living room, having to stop every few seconds for her to let out such a heart-wrenching whimper that made it impossible for her to keep moving. Finally, he did get her in front of his couch, having to push on her shoulders so her body would make the movement to fold in the way meant for sitting down. She still shook, the tears still coming, big and traitorous, sliding down her cheeks. "I'm sorry. I just…I couldn't take it anymore. I really couldn't, Roxas! I know I never actually told you but you figured it out on your own, didn't you? That Axel's drinking leads to my bruises and nervous nature." The sobs tore her throat on their way out, making it hard to swallow.
Roxas didn't say anything, but through her half open eyes and tear-blurred vision, the scowl she saw on his face was enough of an answer, making her close her eyes tightly, the tears still dripping furiously from her long, thick eyelashes. "I never thought it would get this bad, that's why I never told anybody. I just…."
Roxas sat back, crossing one leg over the other, his arms crossing over his chest. "You just didn't want anyone to think badly of Axel." Xion flinched, her fingers curling into fists on her lap, having released his nightshirt since they had sat down on the couch. "Xion, you've been stupid this whole time! Do you have so little respect of yourself that you're willing to put up with crap you sure as heck don't deserve? You've never done anything to Axel but love him and dote on him and this is how he repays you?"
A snarl left the blonde's lips, a menacing growl that, even in the dim light, Xion could see it vibrating throughout his chest and lungs. Except, unlike Axel's dangerous, predatory growl, this one was protective. Roxas was pissed at Axel that much was obvious. Xion knew he was angry with her, too. Not only for keeping it a secret from him, but just in general. She knew.
Xion tried to meet his gaze but timidly and with a deep spark of fear, hastily looked back down. Roxas's nimble fingers caught her chin and pulled it back up so that their similar blue eyes were looking into one another's and he moved his face closer to hers. "Xion," he breathed, the movement tickling her face and making her shudder. The first time she had done so with no hint of fear. That breath had been like a breath of fresh air, like a person's first step outside in a long, long time. It left her numb, like an anesthetic.
But instead of dread filling her up like it did when Axel had her pinned down or was even staring at her with those drunken, hate-filled eyes, it made her curious. The tears hadn't stopped, still freely slipping down her cheeks and Roxas brushed them away with his thumb. What was this fluttering Xion was feeling inside her at what Roxas was doing. He was being…tender with her. It had been so long since anyone had touched her and it ignited excited, eager sparks instead of a dangerous explosion like was the case with Axel.
Her breath started to become shallow, blinking up at Roxas like a baby bird peeking its' head out of an eggshell. "Roxas…?"
His hand moved from her face to her neck, his agile fingers gripping the skin delicately as if he had been waiting a lifetime to do this. It wasn't until the blonde's lips pushed down onto hers that the last thought registered itself in her mind. The kiss was hesitant, shy, with an underlying eagerness that Xion had never before experienced. Roxas had always been pretty shy but this was bold for him. Was he really kissing her because…?
And just like that the warm feeling of his lips on hers was gone and she had to open her eyes to find out why. Roxas had pushed back and now his own fists were clenched, his eyes shut tightly as he seemed to be having an inner battle with himself. "I'm sorry, Xion. I just…you looked so miserable and I think you're stupid for going back to him time and time again, but…I love you even if you are helpless dope."
His eyes opened again, his dark lashes fluttering slowly as he did so, and he was staring at Xion, as if waiting to see her reaction, holding his breath in, fearing what it would be. Xion reached up a hand to touch her lips, the previous warm feeling still lingering sending those excited shivers up and down her body, toes tingling with a restrained, unexplainable giddiness. "You…love me?"
The question had been utterly in her nature to ask, but Roxas sighed and shook his head, as if she should have known the answer all along. "Of course I do." A smile tender touched his lips. But when you and Axel's relationship started, I of course kept quiet as I didn't want to be considered a third wheel or hurt either of you in any way."
"But…Xion…" He looked her straight in the eye, the tenderness still there, but a fierceness now having been added as well. "I know what Axel's been doing to you. I'm one of your best friends. You think I wouldn't figure it out sooner or later?"
Xion turned her head away, the excited feeling now fading, slowly slipping away and bringing the two vices back. "But I hid it so well…" Roxas snorted with a roll of his eyes. "Clothing can only hide so much. You hid the bruises but your mask hiding the pain inside…wasn't very well worn. It was because I could see it in your eyes that I knew you were hiding bruises. I mean, really. A long, black-sleeved t-shirt in the middle of summer?"
The smile on Roxas's face quickly turned bitter. "I love Axel, I do. And I know it's mainly the alcohol. I know. But he's not making any effort to stop his bad habit even after how seeing how badly he's hurt you. He must be blind if he can't see the fear in your eyes." One of his hands went back up to cup Xion's cheek. "But I can. It's easy for me to see. Xion…why do you stay with him?"
The question hadn't been meant as a dagger through her heart, she knew Roxas didn't intentionally mean it that way but it made her face scrunch up all the same, her lips shaking slightly, nervously. Her eyes hastily blinking numerous times as she tried to will herself not to cry. But once again, her traitorous body didn't listen. And the floodgates opened.
Why all of a sudden was she being a big crybaby in front of someone and not keeping it all inside until alone? That was always what she did with Axel. Tears never fell from her eyes, only swam in them, even during the worst nights of her life, and yet here she was now, in front of Roxas, bawling like a complete and utter baby.
"Can't you see, Roxas? I don't know! I love him, I do. I really love him. But that kiss with you made me feel eager, something I haven't felt in a long while now, yet I feel unfaithful. To Axel. Because I still love him. I don't know anything anymore. You can ask me all the questions you want, but I'm not sure I'll have any answers for you. Or at least not any worth listening to." She shuddered as he pulled her into his arms, rocking her, feeling the dread return even with the warmth his body was emanating. She wasn't sure if that kiss should have happened or not. But it had and she was so screwed. How could she continue to prove her love to Axel if she was now contemplating what she had felt with Roxas? She was utterly confused, her mind a derailed train, a complete mess on its tracks. She still loved Axel. And didn't have a clue what to do.
With a numbness in her heart, one that only scared her instead of relieved her, she left Roxas's house and decided to go back to her and Axel's apartment and she could only hope he was sober with a hangover and not still drunk. She went to turn the knob, cursing herself quietly for forgetting her keys, and surprisingly it opened.
Cautiously she made her way inside, not knowing what to expect, not really sure she wanted to find out. The hallway was completely black, the moon deciding to have gone into hiding for the rest of the night. Her eyes slowly adjusted to the poor lighting and she had to half feel her way to the bedroom. She found Axel there, his bare chest glistening with sweat. The dim lamplight did him no justice.
He turned as he heard her, a look of utter horror on his face as he laid eyes on her. She slowly walked into the room and sat down on the other side of the bed, pulling her shirt off as she did so. She really should've looked behind her as she was doing so, but she didn't and it sent her heart into overdrive as Axel pounced on her from behind. Xion's eyes opened and looked into his, just staring. Silently.
"Xion…I love you. I really do. You don't know how much I do." Her breath left her in a soft whoosh, but even after seeing Axel was sober and as supposedly in love with her like in their early days…looking into his now kind eyes…Xion was still afraid.
Roxas's words rang warningly in her ears, red lights flashing and sirens sounding within her now pounding head. "But he's not making any effort to stop his bad habit even after how seeing how badly he's hurt you. He must be blind if he can't see the fear in your eyes."
But for now…this moment, this night, blind love was enough for Xion. And as Axel's lips met hers in a fiery tangle of dominance and barely restrained passion, she made no move to stop him.
It continued on like that for many more nights. Many days, even. Axel would come home drunk or Xion would come home to an already drunk boyfriend and he would beat her, sometimes stop and stalk off like that night, sometimes not. Then she would go to Roxas, most often sobbing her eyes out, and rarely just sitting there together on his couch, feeling it was enough to just have him stare at her, his blue eyes seeming to bore into her skull and delve into her brain.
And then she would go back home, she and Axel would make love, sometimes passionately, or violently, and she would let him kiss her, touch her, squeeze her, anything he wanted because that's what she felt he had the right to do. She was his lover, a dear friend, someone who he also happened to beat and cuss at a lot, but apparently to Xion, this never-ending cycle was enough.
That still didn't stop the torrent flow of the new, eager feelings stemming and taking root in her heart all because of Roxas. Sometimes, like that night, that felt like so long ago, they would share a kiss, and eventually Xion would pull away, push him away if his lips came back to caress hers and say the words she knew Roxas was tiring of hearing, "I'm with Axel."
She knew he was tiring of it. Not because he was fed up with her, even though she was really leading him on, giving into his kisses and allowing them at least for a little bit…but because he was getting frustrated and exasperated with Axel's abuse toward her. He would always kiss the newest bruise or cut from Axel with such a tender grace, a lot of the time it moved her to even more tears.
But she wasn't sure whether or not she loved him. Her heart was torn between safety and what she thought could be love, and danger but what she knew, or was almost positive anyway, was love.
It wasn't until after Axel's now nightly attack, when she was at Roxas's that she allowed things to move farther. They were no longer on his couch, which was their usual. They were on his bed, half undressed and kissing other parts than just one another's lips. This was the farthest they had ever gone and Xion wasn't sure whether or not she liked it. Sure there was the eager toe-quivering and the blissful body-shuddering, but…
"Roxas…" She pushed him away slightly, so that his lips were not in contact with her skin and looked at him. "Why are you doing this? You know I'm with Axel." It was just a murmur but Roxas had heard it. And instead of frowning at that remark, he smiled tenderly. "Because you need to be shown love, Xion" His nose began to nuzzle her neck and then down into the indent of her collarbone, which made her moan, unable to stifle the sound, even with her top lip biting her bottom.
"And why are you with Axel when all he does is hurt you?" Roxas's lips touched her chest, his fingers patiently fiddling with her bra strap, making her back arch, her spine tingling, fire racing through her veins. "T-That's not all he does." Even with Roxas kissing and touching her, she managed to look down, her eyes solely focusing on the velvet-soft, blue comforter. Her mind, on the other hand, was rushing to come up with an answer. She felt a twitch in her temple, just a small spasm that seemed to practically beg her to just decide already.
She couldn't take much more of this back-and-forth and her body knew it more than she seemed to. "But that's what will always happen before the tender moments. With him, the tenderness you're shown is fleeting." Xion closed her eyes, tightly, allowing him to kiss her almost anywhere he pleased, and liking it but not allowing herself to admit it, not allowing herself to moan or reciprocate his actions. Separating her mind from her body.
A few nights later was when she finally allowed him to make love to her. She enjoyed it, immensely. Roxas was so gentle and tender and always asking if she was okay with this. He would stop his ministrations to he body and only continue after she had given some sort of sign showing it was okay to continue, like a slight blush or a nod of the head.
The vices returned that night, stronger than ever with the amount of pressure they were placing on her. Roxas's body merged with hers felt amazing, so wonderful and strong like an electric current. But a part of her wanted to believe this was Axel gently pinning her down on the pillows and sheets. She wanted to believe that she wasn't being a bad girlfriend to him by doing this behind his back and she wanted to believe that he could still be this tender with her.
Once more the traitorous tears also returned, slipping down her cheeks slowly and quietly, dropping onto the sheets below her and staining them. Just like the floor…Roxas's fingers came to caress her face, wiping them away even as all the tears did was keep coming, seeming to know she needed this kind of release more than the one they were currently trying for. So he just continued with his tender movements and actions and letting her cry, but wiping away the tears because he knew the reasons behind them.
It only took about a month of this vicious cycle to continue on before Xion did start to get sick of the abuse. And not just emotionally and mentally worn out, but physically as well. She and Roxas hadn't made love again or even attempted to, as she wasn't strong enough for it anymore. Her body seemed to breaking down, detesting the fact it was being weighed down by the numerous choices and decisions she had to make and all the abuse she was still suffering.
It was actually getting worse. As if Axel somehow knew what she and Roxas were doing and this was his way of punishing her. At first she didn't seem to mind, felt as if she deserved the pain for what she and Roxas were doing. And she still made no move to stop either of them. She now wanted to stop Axel's pain-inflicting ways but didn't have the strength that she did before and of course there was no way she wanted to stop Roxas's tender, sweet ways.
Roxas was always saying he would help her do it, pleading with her to let him, but all she had the power to do was viciously tell him no. And he would listen. Because it wasn't what she wanted. Truth be told, if it were anyone else, she'd let them stop Axel and take her away from him but because it was Roxas, her best friend, she wouldn't let him get into this mess any further.
She was finally allowing herself to say that she loved him. She now reciprocated his actions, even if not as boldly, and she was even more fiercely protective of him than before. Which is why she would not have him get involved in what would be her and Axel's end.
The question stopped her short. "Xion, where are you going?" She looked at Axel warily, begging whatever god existed to spare her from another seemingly endless fight. He had never cared when she left, never asked her about where she had been when she returned so this scared her. "I'm going to Roxas's." Axel said nothing more so Xion just left, wanting more than anything to be in Roxas's arms. She felt safe there. And so she opened up and admitted what she had probably known all along but she had been too blind to see. Guess Axel wasn't the only blind one.
This time, nuzzling her face into Roxas's chest, she smiled somewhat shyly like a puppy being looked at for a supposed adoption and gripped his shirt like she had done that very first night, instinctively out of comfort. "I love you. You're so sweet and patient and I should've seen that all along."
She looked up slowly and saw that Roxas was smiling, which made her slightly nervous to continue. She bit her lip, chewing it contemplatively before continuing. "But I still love Axel. A part of me always will. Before the alcohol, I really thought we would be together forever. Some part of me still believed that even after the alcohol and some part of me still naively does now. I'm sorry that I can't get over Axel but I do love you, Roxas. You've always been my best friend and I should have seen how good of a friend sooner. I should…"
Roxas cut her off with a kiss, silencing her into a state of bliss. This time when Roxas took it farther, Xion allowed herself to enjoy it and work on making it pleasurable for Roxas, too. But there was still that slight pang, making her feel guilty about what she was doing. And dirty for keeping it a secret from Axel all this time.
It was a couple months later that Xion finally decided she had had enough of Axel and was going to do something about it instead of just hurting Roxas by coming to him with bruises and gashes and tears. "Axel…I'm seeing Roxas." She said the words quick, for fear of his response, but with no stutters whatsoever. He just blinked at her, his mind seemingly in a haze as it tried to process her words.
"You know I love you. And I always will, but Roxas actually treats me like he loves me. Which I used to get from you. A long time ago…But not anymore. And I can't stand it. We're both living a lie. And I'm not going to sit around and be burned at the stake because of staying with you." Even though Xion was completely sure in this decision now, thanks to Roxas, it didn't hurt any less as she saw her words finally make it through the haze in his brain and register. First shock, then hurt, and she knew what was coming next, even with him being sober. Axel had always had a temper and instinctively, she flinched, waiting for the blow to come.
But it never did. She slowly opened her eyes, first one, then the other, and only saw Axel standing, shaking, with his fists coiled, the veins standing out profusely, practically throbbing with how tightly he had his hands clenched. But he wasn't coming toward her. Xion gave an inward sigh of relief. Her mistake was turning her back on him to walk out the door and out of that apartment hopefully forever. But hopefully didn't seem to apply with someone like Axel around. Xion's other mistake? Axel actually was drunk; Xion just hadn't been able to scent the whiskey on his breath. So when an arm roughly grabbed her, nails digging into skin hard enough to cause bleeding, a horrified gasp left Xion's mouth.
"You've been seeing him all this time, haven't you?" The snarl was rough with fury, the hurt no longer in his features. He shook her violently, using the hold he had on her wrist to make it incredibly painful, twisting it at an odd angle, making Xion whimper in pain. He tugged harder on her arm, taking it further into the painful angle it was already in, making Xion outright scream. "Haven't you?" "Yes!" She tried in vain to get him to let go, sobbing, realizing the nightmare was playing itself out again. There's some parts of a cycle that just can't be broken.
A sadistic smirk made its way onto Axel's face, curling his lips up in a menacing expression. "Well, I know what to do with lying, little cheats!" The hiss felt hot in her ear, fire pooling in her blood, circling around her veins, but no longer the good kind of feeling that she had with Roxas. His tongue flicked her ear, slithering like a snake's and she whimpered again.
He threw her roughly onto the bed and kissed her harshly, pressing his tongue so deep into her mouth and so hard, he was practically suffocating her. He pushed her away, hard, her head viciously hitting the headboard. He stood up, his limbs taut with tension and a sick, twisted kind of anticipation. Dizzy and shocked, her vision swimming with stars and blurs, Xion could do nothing but lie there and try to get air into her abused, starved lungs.
Axel came back, a thick length of rope in tow, fiery pleasure burning in his eyes, now deep, green pools of hatred. He made a taunting motion with the rope, snapping it taut, making sure it was firm and began to tie it around Xion. And the bed. He tied her hands to the posts helping to hold up the headboard, and her feet to the end posts.
He laughed softly, watching her squirm, eyes glinting madly. Smirking devilishly, he walked out of the room, after grabbing a small pack of matches. Xion was too busy struggling to notice. Her head was pounding fiercely, her body already aching from how tight Axel had tied the ropes to her. She continued to struggle, not stopping for any amount of rest, but nothing was budging.
Tears welled up in her eyes, warm and furious, held-back bile rising up in her throat. Her cries grew in volume from whimpers to outright screams. Even as the room began to get hotter and hotter, all she did was cry and scream. That's all she could do. She had nothing she could wiggle out of her pocket that could possibly cut the ropes. The only good side to this disastrous mess was that Axel still hadn't returned.
But the heat was getting to her; she felt almost positive her skin was starting to melt. The flames burned hungrily around her, licking up everything in its path, including the bed she was on, her included. Even as the flames ghosted up and down her body, dancing every which way across her skin, making her scream and cry even harder, she never stopped struggling.
She had been hurting this badly ever since Axel picked up his first bottle. What were a few burning flames to the man you were in love with beating you over and over and then saying sorry over and over? This was just part of the cycle. It hadn't been broken after all…
Everyone who passed the house always had something to say about it and its story but kept quiet around it. The madly intoxicated redhead was taken to court for trial and was delivered first degree of murder and slaughter, going to prison immediately after. Roxas…well, he was in therapy, but nothing any of the doctors told him helped at all. The pain he felt of losing her was still fresh. All the time. It was a wound that would never close.
He had come so close to killing Axel for murdering such a precious girl like Xion but he had stopped his anger from blinding him and sinking to the other man's level. Besides, Xion wouldn't have wanted him to slit Axel's throat. Or anything of the like. He, Axel and Xion had all been friends at some point, and even if he was most definitely not friends with Axel now, Xion wouldn't have wanted him to kill a former friend.
Laughter, a clock chiming, making the occupants seated on the edge of the ledge cover their ears and laugh even harder. Ice cream melting and falling down below, sometimes hitting people on their heads, yet again making the three best friends laugh… Roxas remembered all the things pertaining to those days so clearly. He was amazed at how fresh they were in his mind. But…he had to hang onto something right?
Especially when he sometimes swore, when walking by the house Xion and Axel had shared, he heard a wail that made his whole body go stock still, the hairs on the back of his neck standing on end. Because he knew that cry anywhere. And he didn't blame her one bit. If he was even hearing what he thought he was. His therapists put it gently, but basically he was a whacko now.
He had lost the girl he loved. He was willing to give up his sanity for it. If it would eventually stop the pain and lead to a blissful darkness which would then lead him to her.
Everyone makes mistakes. Xion would quite often tell Roxas that with a smile. In this case Roxas listened to Xion and didn't do anything to stop Axel, though his love for her was pure and as tender as could ever possibly be. He listened to Xion because he thought it would make her happy. Axel didn't stop the alcohol from consuming him and his mind after he consumed it, therefore, and eventually leading to Xion's death.
Xion…didn't stand up for herself. She didn't open her eyes sooner and she went with Roxas behind Axel's back. Ultimately leading to her death as well. Everyone makes mistakes, even when it's all said and done. But life's no fairytale. Not always will there be a prince charming to sweep the princess off her feet and into the happily ever after. Sometimes life will be more like a horror film, with gruesome endings and fear making your heart pound at every little thing you experience. For some...there are no second chances.
A/N: Wow…this was so fun to write. And all in one go, amazing! That's the first time I started something and finished something completely in the same night. XD Anyways, this story is pretty violent and gruesome, but a song gave me inspiration. My mind can't be this screwed up on its own. ^^; I was with my friend today and we were swinging and walking around town, enjoying each other's company, and at one point we were listening to music on her phone. "Love the way you lie" By Eminem featuring Rihanna and our favorites parts were the same and we were just being goofs and singing it.
My favorite verse, for some reason happens to be "If she ever tries to fucking leave again, I'mma tie her to the bed and set this house on fire." And not always does fire make me think of Axel; sometimes, it does, and this time happened to be one of those times. Axel can be pretty violent especially in Chain of Memories and in 358/2 Days, you can tell he cares for Xion, but seems to push her aside and get violent with her at times.
And so my mind pictured this. Sorry if it's OOC and if Axel's a bit too violent, Xion's too much of a crybaby, Roxas isn't as tough as he should be. That's how I feel people might see them in this fic, but if you think it was OOC, let me know, because I'd love to hear how you think I could improve and how I could have done better with this particular story. Also, sorry if it's sad. I had fun writing it, but it did break my heart because I do ship AkuShi, so….^^; yeah…
The friend who I was with today and who helped give me inspiration is none other than Fanfiction's Aviditty. She is an amazing, beautiful person who is so supportive and she is actually doing an abuse story of her own so if you like Victorious, especially Jori, please go check out her story Windowpane. ;D It's amazing! ^W^
Anywho, I'm sorry again if this was too OOC for your tastes and just let me know what you think. It would mean a lot.