Reasons why Kurama shouldn't marry a ningen female:

Dedicated to all those obnoxious authors who insist on pairing Kurama with insipid, idiotic OCs who have no connection whatsoever to the atmosphere, plot or characters of Yu Yu Hakusho; who exist simply to allow the author to fantasise that (s)he is the one, the only, ooh, ooh, oohh. May I express just how much I'm annoyed by you people? Oh, by the way, severe HK implications, since it's me.

Reason #1:

'You can go in now, sir,' the doctor told Kurama.

Kurama stepped into the delivery room. His wife lay in the sheets, glowing with pride and triumph, her blonde hair shining with sweat and spread out on the pillow with uncanny prettiness considering that she had spent the last thirteen hours pushing something that was nearly a foot long and weighing nine kilos out of her body. He leaned down and they kissed passionately.

'My love, may I present your son?' she said, holding up an adorable bundle of red hair and blue eyes (from the mother, never mind how extraordinarily ugly the combination can be, not to mention almost impossible for a Japanese child to have). Kurama gazed at it with love and tears brimming in his eyes, and took it gently in his arms, feeling his heart fill with paternal pride at the thought of holding his son. Their son.

'I'm so proud of you,' he choked out. 'I love you. I love you so much.'

'I know, sweetums. And I lo–' she broke off and gasped in shock. A brief puff of smoke had surrounded the baby, and when it cleared Kurama was holding an entirely different baby in his hands: white-haired, golden-eyed, with a long fluffy tail and cute long fox ears peeking out of his head. It yipped, pleasantly surprised, and grinned a fanged grin.

She screamed bloody murder. 'Shuuichi! What is that……that thing!'

Kurama gulped. 'Well…………'

Secretiveness is a very bad habit.

Reason #2:

'……if anyone knows of any reason why these two should not be joined together, let them speak now or forever hold their peace.' Three whole seconds passed, and the blushing bride discreetly stepped on the pastor's foot, urging him to continue while she stared adoringly at Kurama's beautiful face. Her other eye was fastened on her hubby's work partners, who looked on the edge of Pulling Something, especially that rude short one. The rest of her was evaluating the exact cost of the ring he was going to slip on her in three minutes or so.

Then she twitched, her eyes growing wide as she stared down in horrified dismay at the foot or so of katana sticking out of the left side of her chest before she crumpled soundlessly to the floor. Kurama stepped quickly out of the bloodstain range, worried about his new shoes and rather relieved about the whole mess being over.

'Does this count as an objection?' Hiei said blandly, pulling the katana out of her.

Reason #3:

'OHHH!' she squealed as her boyfriend opened the plush velvet box to display the shatteringly beautiful diamond necklace. 'Is that for me?'

'Of course it is,' he said, smiling lovingly at her. 'Everything I own is for you. Only you.'

'Oh, Shuu-shuu-baby!' she said, throwing her arms around him.

Someone cleared their throat, and she looked away, displeased to find that Goth friend of his standing there. And was that a sword at his hip?

'Fox,' he said crisply. 'Reikai knows about the diamonds. The Special Forces are about two hundred yards behind me, so I suggest we get a move on back to Makai. Koenma was saying something about throwing away the key this time.'

'Who's fox?' she said, bewildered, her sole brain cell hopelessly overloaded. 'Makai? Special Forces? Shuu-shuu-chan, what's going on?'

Then she found her arms unexpectedly empty as Kurama stood and inclined his head pleasantly at her. 'Sorry, honey. I have to go back to the demon world now, but I'll look you up when I get back, okay? It's only going to be a hundred years or so.'

And he ran out of the restaurant in close pursuit of that Hiei friend of his.

Her eyes rolled up in her head and she fainted.

The diamonds were gone, by the way.

A/N: why have I made Kurama evil? Because he is. He's a crook and a thief and a ruthless killer and fanficcers tend to forget it by focusing on his good side. But I think Toguro the elder and Karasu can convince you of what happens when you're on his bad side……snicker. I may add more if you ask really nice.