Title: Video Messages
Author: libratraveller
Disclaimer: SGA does not belong to me.
Pairing: Elizabeth/Simon, Elizabeth/Rodney
Summary: Simon receives video tapes from Elizabeth.
Author's Note: This is for the McWeir ficathon.
The lights are low in the room and a man sits on his couch as he watches a video tape that was addressed to him. A woman speaks to him. "I want to do this Simon with all my heart, you know me well enough to know I could never turn down an opportunity like this, but I wanted the chance to tell you…" He shuts off the tape and goes to the phone. He cannot reach her.
"Okay." He says. This is real.
He turns the tape back on. "I love you. I just want you to remember that though I may never return, I'll always think of you. Bye." The tape goes blue. Suddenly he knows he will never see her again, never hold her again. As the tape shuts off, there are tears in his eyes.
888
Simon was taking a media class as an elective his fourth year in college. Though he planned on being a doctor, he was still interested in how television production was put together. So he was taking the class. It was in his third week that he noticed the cute girl sitting a row behind him. She rarely talked, but took detailed notes. She had a short haircut that made her face look pretty. As he watched, she smoothed her fingers through her brown locks.
When their first project came around he made sure to be put in a group with her. He found out her name was Elizabeth and she was a sophomore. They became close friends while working on a short murder mystery film. Neither of them cared for mysteries, but one of the more dominant people in their group voiced, loudly, that they wanted to do a mystery. It was actually Elizabeth's idea that it be about a murder. The first argument they ever had was while picking actors for their movie. She wanted a redhead girl to be the main detective, but he complained that the woman seemed too vapid and did not seem good at acting. He wanted a young male to be the lead, and Elizabeth accused him of being sexist. Elizabeth won out, and in fact the redhead was a good actress. The fun part of the argument was how Elizabeth softly made her point, she never came out and said he was sexist, but her reasons made it clear that his own were baseless.
They made a good film together, received an 'A' and a loud applause by their classmates. When their semester ended, they made sure to keep in contact. As he went on into Graduate school to learn to be a doctor, she continued on towards getting her Bachelor degree in International Politics. They stayed close friends, meeting once a week for lunch to talk.
It was after a couple years that Simon received his first video tape from Elizabeth. She wore a blue loose-fitting dress and her feet were bare as she walked on the grass. "Simon. This so embarrassing, it's been ages since we took that media class together. Since then we have become close friends, and I've loved every moment we spent in each other's presence." She carefully sat down on the grass in front of the camera. "There's something I wanted to tell you and I felt it would be easier to say it on camera instead of in front of you. I care deeply for you, always have. I want to be more than friends. There I said it. Would you please go on a date with me?" She smiled softly then got up and turned off the camera.
Not long after he watched the tape, he called her up on the phone and told her he felt the same. They made a time for a date, that Friday. Simon was so thrilled to finally get closer to this woman he dearly loved. When they went out on the date they were for the first time, awkward around each other. It was not until he accidentally spilled wine on her blouse that they relaxed, laughing at their antics. When he dropped her off at her apartment, they kissed for the first time. It was more than he had ever imagined. She was so beautiful with her lips parted as he pulled away. He knew then that this was the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.
888
The sun shines through the blinds in the bedroom window. A man sits down on the bed with a journal propped up on his lap. He writes to his beloved, the woman he is afraid has left him forever. All night he has been telling her how much she means to him, how his life meant nothing before her. He wrote in his journal since he was young, but since he met her, she has become the focus of all his entries. He never told her though, so he has several journals addressed to her that she will never read.
888
There was a short time where their relationship was shaky. They had been together for a couple years, Elizabeth learning to be a diplomat and Simon interning at the local hospital. It seemed they could never find enough time to spend together, as they would only see each other at night in the apartment they shared. No matter how many times they attempted to have a night out, one of them would always be busy, ruining the other's plans. It got to such a point that Simon was given an unexpected tape from Elizabeth.
Elizabeth was sitting at a desk in front of a camera at her job going through documented treaties. "Simon, I know you weren't expecting a tape from me, but I couldn't tell this to you in any other way. I've been given a position as an assistant diplomat at a UN conference. I'll be leaving the country. If this goes well I may get a job as a diplomat to help treaties in the Middle East. This means I'll be spending a great deal of my time away. I hope you can understand. I worry that it may cause stress in our relationship, but I plan to come home as often as I can. I'll miss you while I'm away. I love you Simon." The tape ended.
Simon was not surprised to hear this. He knew her dreams would lead her away from him. Elizabeth meant so much to him that he refused to let her career interfere with their love. So he called her up and told her they were going out to dinner to celebrate her new position. That night was tinged with sadness, but they made the most of it.
888
Somehow he finds a way to move on. He has a great deal of work as a resident at the hospital. Though every moment she is away, he yearns for her. It is nothing like the times when she left to other countries. Then he knew she would return, exhausted but proud. Now she is in another galaxy, something he still cannot wrap his mind around.
After almost a year, another tape from his love finds him. He is so happy to hear from her. He sits down to watch it.
"Not a day goes by that I don't think of you, Simon. There's so much I want to tell you, and share with you, but I can't. I know this is unfair -- so much you don't know -- and putting your life on hold for me. So don't. All I ask is you take care of yourself, and know that wherever you are, my heart is looking after you."
It hurts him to see her so sad, but it hurts even more to think of moving on. For months all he could think of was her, and now the thought of letting that go, he hates it. He puts the tape away to watch again every night, believing one day she would return.
888
There was one moment in their past where a video would have been preferable to a phone call. It was the day Elizabeth found out she was pregnant. Over the phone it was too difficult to not let the shock in his voice overshadow the joy in his eyes that she could not see. It would have been nice to have been able to touch the screen where her belly was and pretend to feel the skin where his child resided.
The second moment that a video would have been better was when he had to rush to the hospital months later when she had a miscarriage. He wished he could have distanced himself from that moment through film instead of having to feel the pain of loss so profoundly. Since those moments they were much closer, because they had experienced joy and grief together.
888
He knows from watching this tape that the next time he sees her he is going to have to make sure she knows how much a part of his soul she is. He sits contemplating the blank screen and then looks at his left hand where there is no ring. He decides he is going to have to change that.
888
The next video Simon finds himself in possession of is strangely enough not from Elizabeth but from a Doctor Carson Beckett. It explains that the expedition he was previously informed about is looking for more doctors. Without going into detail Dr. Beckett asks him if he would like the chance to join the team, and invites him to Colorado for an interview.
888
Simon is still in shock a couple weeks later when Elizabeth finally visits. He postponed the interview until he had a chance to talk it over with her, but then when he realized she had to return to the SGC in a few days, he wanted to spend as much of his time with her as he could, so he purposefully forgets to mention that he had not gone to the interview.
While making dinner for her, Elizabeth asks, "When were you going to tell me?"
Simon glances at her and then continues cutting. "There's nothing to tell. I mean, I haven't said yes, but I haven't said no either."
Elizabeth is concerned. "You do realize, you are not going to make the final list of candidates unless you commit?"
Simon hates being pressured, so lashes out. "Elizabeth, you know you can't just come back after a year and expect me to drop everything on two weeks' notice. I have responsibilities here -- I have patients, I have research. "
Elizabeth sighs. "I know, I know, and I would never diminish the importance of your work. But you have to understand that every single person on this entire expedition is in the exact same situation. In fact it's why they were chosen in the first place."
This time Simon sighs. "I understand. Look, I just need a little more time." They spend the rest of the night talking about things other than the mission. He wishes it had not been brought up in the first place as he thought maybe tonight he could have proposed. As soon as he knew she was back he had gone ahead and bought a ring. Instead he will just have to wait for a better opportunity.
888
He goes to the interview, but sees something that devastates him and makes his heart ache. Elizabeth had gone with him and when another man comes up to her about something dire he watches how she reacts. It is then that he knows she had found someone else to love while she was away. He asks Dr. Beckett who this man is, and Beckett says it is Rodney McKay. Elizabeth had mentioned him, and now the smile she had that time makes sense to him. All his plans are done with. There will be no engagement, no trip to Atlantis for him. The future he had planned is shattered.
888
A week later, Simon finds himself at his home watching his lost love making a romantic dinner for him. It hurts so badly he stops her in her talk about Athosian food. "Elizabeth... I'm not going."
Confusion and devastation is plain on her face as she says, "I don't understand."
"You're the adventurer, not me." It hurts him to make up reasons.
Elizabeth tries to explain the changes he sees in her. "But I'm not… I mean at least I wasn't, not before. Look, the first time I stepped through that Gate, I was terrified. I knew I wasn't prepared for what I was getting into, but I took a chance." She wants him to take one too.
"I know, and I'm proud of you for that." He really is and hopes she can see the truth in his eyes.
She is about to give it one last try. "Simon ... "
He just cannot do this. "There's something else." He hurts so much; there is only one thing that would convince her to leave him, forever. "I met someone." The pain he hears in her gasp almost makes him take it back. "You were gone for a long time, Elizabeth." He hates seeing her so distressed, he turns away and leaves. This is the end of a relationship he had with her for years. It was full of such love and sorrow. Fitting that it would end with a mixture of both, if only she knew.
888
When Elizabeth returns to Atlantis, Colonel Caldwell hands her a video tape from Simon. With shaky hands she puts the tape in the VHS the Daedalus had shipped with them.
Simon was sitting on his couch. "Elizabeth," he began. "I am so sorry. I did something I promised you I would never do. I lied. I didn't find someone else, in fact I had planned on proposing to you. The day I went in for an interview, I saw you with another man. I later found out his name was Dr. Rodney McKay. I saw how your face lit up when he came to you with some problem. It was a look I used to see around me. You may not know it yet, but I could tell that you care deeply for this man. I think if you told him how you feel, you two could be really happy together. I want that for you very much." He started to turn the tape off but stopped. "I still love you, just wanted you to know that. Bye."