For some reason, Daisy had suddenly announced an unscheduled event that was to be held in one of the lecture rooms. These rooms were used for discussing new techniques, combos, and the like. Master Hand let it pass without question, which made the other fighters question him themselves.
The real question here is, what in the world could that super, sugar-high girl want? So much as to schedule it in the lecture rooms?
Let's find out.
"Hey, hey, sit! Sit down!" Daisy commanded, swatting her lecture stick on the ground, motioning for everyone to sit. They all complied. The two sides were separated, as expected of them, with girls on the right and the boys on the left. Considering the huge roster, there was almost no room for everyone to fit, but luckily the room was large enough for a walkway on the far right.
"Good, good." Daisy's head nodded as she strode back and forth, viciously tapping her stick on the heads of those in the front row. Link winced, as she seemed to have hit him a little more harder than she did to Ken and the rest.
She noticed that.
"Hey, hey..." she grumbled, hands on her hips as she hovered over the appointed knight. "What, you afraid of a girl? You think I'll crack you over the head with this?" She lifted the stick for preference. Link, confused, sat back in his chair for his own personal space, shaking his head slowly.
Daisy's unsettling smile grew. "Uh-huh. Sure. Then why don't you come up here and show me what to do when it happens."
"Eh...ehhhh?"
With that smile glued to her face, she grabbed Link by the collar and yanked him up out of the chair, earning a panicked 'uuagghh'. "Peach, get up here!"
Peach jolted. "Wh-What?"
"Come up here!"
Almost everyone turned to Peach, expecting her to stand up and follow orders. She did as told, slowly, standing up and moving over to the walkway. With another nod, Daisy positioned Link in the way she wanted, with is arms at his sides and legs spread at shoulder length. She gave Peach her stick.
"Peach, hit him with the stick."
The princess stared in bewilderment for a few seconds. "You want me to hit him? With this?"
Link looked out over the sea of fighters, who were all staring at him with skeptical faces and confused glares. Obviously none of them had any idea what was happening right now.
"It'd be better if it hurt," Daisy said. "So hit him nice and hard. Right over the head."
His eyes flew to Peach. She was holding the stick like a batter getting ready to hit a homeroom. Her eyes blinked a few times, then she took the stick and smashed it down onto Link's head. Hard.
"GAH! Ahh! Ah!" He stumbled over, hands frantically pressing on the area the stick had hit. Others in the crowd looked away, or gasped.
"Was that too hard?"
"Nope," Daisy replied. "It was perfect! Now, Link," she helped him up, "what're you going to do when a girl gets aggressive with you?"
Whaaaaat?
Peach, nervous and mostly frightened at what she had done, gave Daisy an awful look. Is this...oh no...
Is this another one of her tests?
"Daisy..."
"Hush, Peachy. Link," she slapped his back, "what're you gonna do? She just hit you purposely with a stick. She assaulted you, whatcha gonna do?"
"The hell?" someone whispered.
Link was beyond confused. But he took her word and thought through it, despite the throbbing pain in his skull right now. What would he do if a girl would suddenly assault him like this...? Hmm...
Link thought for a moment.
...
...
Then he clapped his hands together in an apologetic manner.
He peeked open one eye at Daisy—
Oh.
Oh...
SMACK!
"Idiot!" Daisy yelled as she imprinted her hand on Link's cheek. "You don't apologize to a girl that just tried to kill you! You take it like a man and admire her strength!" She towered over him as he sat on the floor rubbing his face. "What are you, some weakling?! Get your Hylian Trousers up and be a man! Go sit down and wait until it's your turn again!"
His turn?
His turn?
He obeyed. He stood up slowly and sat down next to Snake. Ken was to his left, and behind him, he felt the comfort of Red's hand on his shoulder. Good kid.
Peach, however, was not excused. Daisy took her stick back and pointed to someone random in the crowd. "Who, oh, who can show this beautiful princess their respect?! Get up here!"
All eyes turned to where she was pointing.
That when Mario emerged from the overwhelming sea. How coincidental.
"Oh, perfect! Mario, show these losers how to treat a lady, will you?"
Looking as jolly as ever, Mario curled his mustache and brought himself to Peach. She felt her heart tingle when he kneeled before her, took her hand, and kissed it gently.
"Oh, heheh...!" Peach giggled as she flushed. How many times has she done that now?
Mewtwo crossed his arms and looked at Daisy, who was smiling like an idiot at Mario's display. The next minute, she's clapping wildly.
"Bravo! Bravo, bravo Mario! Absolutely fantastic! Every girl in royalty deserves that such of affection! Fantastic!"
Mario doesn't know how to feel about that.
The next five minutes contained Luigi and Rosalina, who copied every movement Mario and Peach did. Daisy didn't really seem to notice that at all, because she was beyond satisfied with it.
That is, until they sat down and Marth raised his hand.
Daisy pointed to him dramatically. "Yes, Marth?!"
"Uh, what's the point of all this?"
Silence. Daisy's smile has faded into that horrible glare. She leaned forward once more.
"You dare question my lecture?"
"Wha—no, I just—"
"You don't think learning how to talk to girls is important?"
"I'm married."
Her smile returned. "Then I guess you won't have any problem coming up here and demonstrating how to talk to girls properly? Clearly Link couldn't," she turned and gave him a smug grin, "I highly doubt you could."
"Disloyalty to my loved one is beyond sinful," he retorted, "and I won't have a say in this."
Oh, oh, oh. Daisy does not take that response well. Seems like Marth had hit a nerve...
"You think because you've got some cheap-ass ring on your finger makes you respectable?"
His brow furrowed. "I don't see anything wrong with spending my life with the one I'm most passionate about."
"Come up here and show us how you've swooned her, Hero-King. Come on. Get up here."
He realized he wasn't getting out of this until he did what she wanted. With a frustrated sigh, he stood up from his chair and shuffled his way up to the front. And, to his horror, Daisy had called Lucina up with him.
Lucina also didn't look so comfortable like this.
"Hey now, wait a minute," Marth said, then ignoring Daisy's pained groan. "She and I, we're related. I'm not comfortable with this."
"Yes," Lucina added. "I don't feel like this is right, either."
Daisy rolled her eyes. "What are ya, a bunch-a-pansies? Runs in the family, huh?"
Marth glared. He didn't really have any response to that. To his own dismay, he turned to Lucina and looked for something to compliment her on. After all, that's what Daisy wants, right? They're all here to learn to talk to girls, right? If so, then...this'll be harder than any other Smash Tournament ever held.
Lucina had a worried look in her eyes. After all, she wasn't exactly comfortable with someone literally scanning her body, actually looking for something to compliment her on. She admits that she doesn't have the best self-esteem, and the most compliments she ever got were from her father, Chrom. Speaking of Chrom, Lucina saw that he had a peculiar look in his eyes as he stared at Marth. Either he wants him to say nothing, or say everything.
Marth took a step back and continued examining the girl. He looked at her hair, her face, her legs...arms...waist...che—
"No," he stopped, sighing. "I can't do this, Daisy, she's my—"
SMACK!
"O-Ow!"
This time, Daisy whipped his back with the stick. That'll leave a mark...
"I don't care if you two are related! This is a simulation for real life!"
"I'm, married," Marth reminded in a stern voice.
"And she's a virgin, get over yourself."
Repulsed, Chrom stood up—
"Sit down," was all she said. Chrom opened his mouth to say something, mostly filled with profanity and 'how dare you call out my daughter' and other words that aren't really rated everyone 10+. But...that look in her eyes, it's...unsettling.
He feels as if...if he moves, or talks...something horrible will happen.
...
...
Chrom sits down without a word.
Daisy sighed, disappointed. "Look, all ya gotta do is talk to her, that's all I'm asking of you. Pretend you're meeting her for the first time and compliment her. Go." She plopped down onto a chair in the corner. When did that get there?
Lucina, however, really didn't want to be up here anymore. She wanted Robin to save her, or anyone for that matter. Just, please, let it be over, she thought.
"Uh," Marth started, "You—you're...you're very—uh, um, very...uh—you're very..." He stopped and looked at the crowd. They were all waiting for him to say something. Why's he so nervous? Is it because she's his descendant, that they're related? No, he thought, I'm not that shallow. "You're very cute."
...
...
SMACK!
"Wha—!" Marth stumbled, holding his right cheek. It burned in agony. He whipped his head to Daisy. "Why?!"
"Idiot! You don't just call someone cute out of the blue! Look at her," she pointed to Lucina's reddened face, "she's embarrassed! She doesn't even know you, ya creep!"
"She does know me!"
"It's a sim-u-la-tion! Do it over! Do it until you get it right!"
Marth threw his arms out. "Hey, that's not fair! Mario and Luigi did the exact same thing and they're fine! You're being biased!"
"Yeah!" someone shouted, then followed with a few others who felt the same.
Daisy listened to their complaints, sitting very unladylike-ly in her chair. "Yeah, so?"
His fists clenched. "You...! Ugh...fine, I'll do it again...sorry, Lucina."
"It...It's fine..."
He went back to his inspecting. Overall, Lucina was pretty. Pretty in that tough way. He liked her hair, for that matter, and her diet was good. She had friends; good ones, too. One thing she lacked, though...it...he...he didn't want to say that out loud...this is about complimenting her...! Find something you like...!
He stood there for a few more seconds before clearing his throat and starting the simulation. "Uh, hello...there...my name is Marth. What's yours?"
Now it was Lucina's turn. This is a little awkward for her, and she didn't really get the gist of what this is and what it's for. She could see that behind Marth, Daisy was making...a very questionable face. As if she was...enjoying what she was seeing. But there was also a hint of...an 'I'm watching you' vibe. It was scary.
"Uhm, hi...!" she said in her best cheery-voice. "My name...is Lucina...and uh, it's nice to meet you...I guess."
So far so good.
"That's a wonderful name, Lucina."
"Oh...thanks...Marth..."
He looked around the room. "So uh...what are you up to...?"
The growing awkwardness of the conversation was dragging them down. It was all going good, but something doesn't feel right. It just doesn't.
"Nothing, really," Lucina said.
"...Cool..."
...
...
...
...
...
Now they're not saying anything. Lucina was holding her arm while Marth tapped his foot while looking around. They're nervous.
"Say she's cute," someone whispered.
Marth didn't know exactly who said that, but it wasn't somebody in the front. He suddenly felt...strange. Like...like someone was...
Lucina now had widened eyes. He wanted to ask what was wrong...but...
There's something wrong.
Daisy hasn't said anything for a while.
He's too afraid to look behind him.
He feels as if someone was standing right behind him.
He swallowed. If this keeps up...he's gonna...get...his...
...
...
Needless to say, the crowd's view was very unsettling. They could all see clear as day what was happening. Lucina's face now looked horrified as she mouthed some words to Marth, but he didn't seem to interpret them.
...
Daisy was, indeed, standing right behind Marth. Her stick was aimed to go right up his...his...
Peach was about to stand up and intervene.
Link wanted to save his buddy.
Lucina had to do something.
But...despite all this tension...that one little part of them held them back. That little part of them that wanted to see what would happen if nothing stopped her.
By now, Marth was on edge. He didn't know exactly what was going on, but he just had a hunch that he needs to say something. Quickly. And he took that random's person's word to consideration.
"Y-You're very...cute...Lucina."
...
...
...
Lucina saw Daisy charging up her strike. Adrenaline rushed through her blood as she abruptly stopped the tragedy from occurring.
"I-I am?!" she gasped, surprised. Daisy looked at her with interest, lowering the stick. "Th-Thank you, M-Marth! No one has ever, uh, said that to me! I'm so grateful!"
Relief washed over everyone. That...that was close. That would've been horrible...
Daisy clapped, not as loud, but it was acceptable. "That was good! Great, really! Lucina, you did fantastic! You can sit down now."
Marth thanked every great provider that existed, and he heard Palutena giggle when he included her.
Daisy went back to patrolling the front of the room when Lucina and Marth sat back down. She looked at each row of fighters and actually had some trouble deciding who should be next.
"Okay...as I'm looking for you, I guess I'll just explain this. You're all gonna learn how to talk to girls. The amount of pathetic conversations I hear around this place is absurd, so take this as good practice. Get it?"
Well, isn't that just the best half-assed explanation?
Everyone nodded.
Little Mac tried to sink into his chair to hide himself better. Honestly, most of everyone in here has no need for experience with girls. Do they?
Daisy squinted to look at the far back. "Uhh, hey, you, Shulk, get up here. Palutena, you too!"
Palutena warped up to the front as Shulk grumbled his way up. He felt a little insecure, especially how she literally was a tower compared to him.
Daisy went ahead and explained the scenario. "Okay, Shulk. Pretend you are greeting Miss Palutena, and she is feeling a little down. Cheer her up."
"Okay..."
Daisy sat back and enjoyed the show.
...
Shulk started at the wall, then pretended to stroll up to Palutena. "My, hello there, o' great divine one!" he checked behind him, then continued, "how is your, 'ray of light' coming along?"
Palutena smiled slightly, then went with her role. "Oh, not so good. In fact...today has been cloudy."
They're getting way too into it...
Shulk gave a fake gasp. "Aw! How awful!"
Melodramatic, much...?
"Well," he continued with a nervous stutter, "that's not good, for you...my uh, o' great—Palutena, for you are the one and only light that shines on my world...!"
...
Her emerald eyes sparkled. "Oh, Shulk...I-I had no idea..."
Meanwhile, Pit was flaring.
Shulk, along with everyone else, thought he did pretty well. He was proud of it, honestly. That was pretty good.
Until Daisy came along and karate chopped his shoulders. He shrieked.
"Shulk, you moron!" she scolded. "Do you honestly think that lame puns and jokes will cheer up someone who's 110x out of your league? You're talking to a literal Goddess! How stupid can you be?"
He held his shoulders as he quivered in pain. "B-But you said to cheer her up..."
"Yes, and you somehow turned it into a love confession. Seriously, what the hell was that? I didn't tell you to do that."
"Oh...sorry?"
"Go sit."
"Y-Yes, ma'am..."
And another one bites the dust. Palutena warped back to her seat.
How long will this go on?
...
Daisy's wicked smile returned as Red and Leaf came up to the front. Their scenario is that Red is supposed to say hello to his lady friend he sees on the sidewalk and have a casual conversation.
Could be worse, they thought.
Everyone else had pretty much accepted the problem by now. It wasn't like they could leave; Daisy would stop them before they even stood up.
Red began the simulation, casually pretending to be on a morning stroll. "Oh, hey Leaf!" He ran up to the girl.
"Hi, Red! Nice to see you today!"
Their acting is on point...!
"I'm on my way to the—uh—the p-pooool? The pool, I'm on my way to the pool. Where are you headed?"
Leaf's heart dropped as she scoured for words. "Um, the gym! The local Pokémon gym! I've recently thought that Squirtle has been getting so much better! I want to test him!"
Red replied, "I hope it goes well!"
Their conversation continued on and on. It was literally what Daisy wanted, everything was perfect. Everyone else seemed satisfied.
That is...until...
As Red talked, Leaf could see Daisy slowly getting up from her chair and creeping over behind Red.
Peach gave a small gasp. "D-Daisy...! Stop...!" Her voice was too low to be heard.
"No," said the female Corrin. "Let her. It'll be funny."
"She's got some nerve," said Samus.
Daisy's...Daisy's foot was aiming for Red's back.
Red ignored the whispers and kept on talking. It's what Miss Daisy wants, right? This'll satisfy her for sure!
A foot smashed into his back, sending him toppling into Leaf at a great force. He yelped as he landed on top of her, earning that famous cliché he once saw in a movie.
"Oh, Red," Daisy slurred, "such a klutz."
He was literally on Leaf. His legs scrambled off of her and he actually tripped over himself when he tried to stand up.
"Well?" said the voice. He felt a chill up his spine as it whispered delicately into his ear.
"I-I-I'm so s-sorry! Are you! Okay! I'm so! Sorry!"
Leaf also had trouble standing up, and she seemed to be purposely exposing a bit of her skirt for extra effect. "I-I'm okay...it wasn't your fault...you...tripped...?"
"Y-Yeah...sorry..."
Leaf gradually got up, a tint of pink on her cheeks. She suddenly smirked and glared at Red. "Pervert..."
Red's eyes flew open and darted to Daisy. "Wha—? No! Wait, s-stop, I'm not a—AAGH!"
Red had to go through the day with a bloody nose now.
"Heh," Roy chuckles. "Moron."
The two trainers sat back down. Peach scolded Leaf for allowing Red to get hurt like that.
There goes another...
"Pit! Zelda!"
Pit immediately shot up from his chair and saluted nothing. "Y-Yes ma'am! Reporting for duty!"
The Hyrule princess sighed in dismay as she walked up to the front. Honestly, she didn't want to see an angel, of all people, get hurt. She couldn't bear it. Pit positioned himself shoulder-to-shoulder with Zelda with a focused glare on his face.
He's getting into it too, huh...
"Your scenario is..." Daisy pondered her choices. She could have them pretend they're at dinner, or perhaps even allow them to tease each other for her own amusement. Or even...
She had her answer, unfortunately.
"Zelda, you are a barmaid. Pit," Pit snapped his head in her direction, "you are a bandit and are currently kidnapping said barmaid. Go."
...
What—?
The two of them stood there momentarily, bewildered looks on their faces. Why the sudden change in the setting?! Everyone else looked as dumbfounded as them! What happened to casual conversations with girls?!
"Um, sorry," Zelda said. "I'm not one for rolepla—"
"Gahahahaaa!" Pit roared, kicking over a chair. It clattered over next to Zelda, and she was taken quite by surprise. She didn't expect Pit to then look at with her malice and grab her arm.
"You!" he snarled. "You're pretty! I'm taking you!" And he yanked her into his arms and carried her bridal-style. Zelda shrieked when she was lifted and ended up fighting back out of panic.
This wasn't her first rodeo.
Zelda flailed and got free of Pit's hold. She twisted him around and pinned his arms behind his back, forcing him to the floor after giving him a knee to the gut. He landed face-first into the tile and gasped for air. He could hear that female Corrin laughing at him. When he opened his eyes he saw Link smirking at him. Ah, no good, no good...
That didn't go as planned.
But the worst is coming...it's impending...imminent...
Zelda yelped and jumped off of Pit, having to watch him get beat with a lecture stick like it was a meat tenderizer. Fifteen whacks...he's down for the count...
"Pathetic excuse of a bandit, I'll say," Daisy said with disappointment in her eyes. Pit was out cold. The flower girl looked at Zelda with a small grin. "Go easy on him next time, yeah?"
She's one to talk!
And another one...
...
SMACK!
"Are you actually stupid?! The correct way is to negotiate with her! You think a devil-child like her will just give you that stupid thing back?!"
Toon Link shamefully shook his head. The scenario was supposed to be that Inkling Girl had stolen his Wind Waker and wouldn't give it back. Apparently, asking nicely wasn't right choice.
"Try again!"
Inkling Girl looked out to the crowd, worried for the sailor's safety. She wouldn't even go easy on a kid...this could be rough.
Toon Link offered a red rupee in exchange for his Wind Wa—
WHACK!
Daisy stomped on the rupee and crushed it to bits. "Kid, just what is a squid like her gonna use that piece of trash for? Huh? Can you answer that? No? Thought so."
He stared at his crushed rupee. He worked hard for that...
...
SMACK!
"How dare you threaten her! She'll kick your ass!"
"The hell else am I supposed to do?!" Ike complained.
Instead, Samus replied for him: "Maybe try talking to me and not aiming that thing me, that's what she's saying. Idiot."
...
SMACK!
"What was that for?!" yelled Roy, rubbing his head.
"I was just upset that you called Red a moron earlier. And,"
SMACK!
"that's for hitting on a married woman. You're 15, kid, slow down."
Female Robin nodded in agreement. "Thank you, Daisy."
"Yup!"
"I didn't even say anything yet!"
...
SMACK!
Female Corrin got hit this time. She fell over on her rear and sputtered out swears, glaring at Daisy.
"Why me?!"
"I just don't like you," was all Daisy had to say.
Ken stood by and listened to the two argue.
...
SMACK!
"Do it again!"
SMACK!
"You're being too soft!"
SMACK!
"Put more force into it!"
SMACK!
"No, no, no!"
SMACK!
SMACK!
SMACK!
...
...
...
Daisy sighed. Almost everyone here was a complete failure. Is it seriously that difficult for them to properly talk to a girl? It's not that complex!
"Okay. Let's try one more..."
It was an odd feeling as her eyes scanned the crowd. Everyone had gotten at least one turn, but...that look she has in her eyes...it's...unnerving...
"Dark Pit," she said. "It's your turn."
Pit looked to Pittoo—Dark Pit. He was a little nervous about how he'd end up. Either completely unscathed or beaten to the bone.
Dark Pit stood up and came to the front, standing with his arms at his sides and legs at shoulder length. It was how she positioned everyone, so might as well get it over with.
"This is stupid," he said. "I don't need this."
"Oh, really?" Daisy sneered. Ah...there it is. A hungry smile curled her lips. "Then you won't mind try talking to...me, would you?"
To her?
To her?!
To HER?!
He's gonna get murdered!
"Yeah, sure."
She answered with an odd chuckle. "Eheheh...okaaayyy...The scenario here is..." she brought her finger to her lip and started biting the nail. Her body swayed left and right and she thought of the scene. "...We're in...a...bar...and..."
A bar?
Where'd that come from? What's with the sudden change in her behavior?
"And you...are simply...talking to me..."
What's with all the hesitations?
Dark Pit nodded. "Okay..."
"Ready...hehe, go. First, put your arm around me."
Without a word, Dark Pit went to complete his order, lifting his arm and—
Wait a second.
Would she be that direct? He had to think about this rationally. The scenario here is that they're both in a bar and he's just talking to her. But, they haven't even said hello yet. For one thing, he doesn't even know if they even know each other in this scene.
For now, they're just complete strangers! Would a normal person put their arm around someone they haven't said hello to?
No! No, they wouldn't!
"No." He briskly stopped himself.
Inkling Boy covered his eyes, not wanting to bear another sight of his friends getting beaten.
...
...
There was some laughter. Giggling. Inkling Boy opened one eye, only to see Daisy smiling and blushing like a complete moron. She was nodding and bouncing, excited.
"Ahhh! Yes! Yes, that's good! Very good! You don't just put your arm around someone you didn't even talk to yet!" she said. "Wonderful! Great start!"
"Uh-huh."
He couldn't care less.
"Now, you need to start talking to me. Go."
Dark Pit went ahead and pretended to say hello to an old friend. "Hey, Daisy."
"Hey, Pittoo!"
Really?
She continued, "Nice to see you hanging around here! What, did Palutena tell ya to grow up or something? Hahaha!"
She's talking as if the scenario was real. He felt a little embarrassed at that, but right now, it's do or die. "No, she didn't. Just, I've never been in this sort of place. It's...something I'd like to try out."
Daisy leaned on her stick like she's leaning over a counter. "Curious, eh? Can't blame ya, this place is hot."
Honestly, it was hard for everyone else to picture the scene anyway.
Dark Pit looked to the ground. "It's okay."
Then, she side-eyed him for a while. Something wasn't quite right about that look. Peach could see it. Everyone could see it. She's planning something. That monster...!
"You know," Daisy started again. "There's some other things that catch my eye, too, you know? Like, I dunno, flowers, sports...that stuff."
As she said this, she slowly inched closer to the angel. Warily, he took a few small steps away. Something definitely isn't right here. Something's wrong.
"Uhh...uh-huh...that's...nice, I guess...?"
Now he was being cornered into the wall. He found himself having nowhere else to go, being pushed against it, powerless. Daisy had trapped him between the wall and her body. She was close, way too close to him, literally pushing her chest against his on purpose.
His face heated up.
Dark Pit looked over her shoulder and gave someone a look of panic. He's actually being harassed in front of literally everybody...!
"Hey..." Lucina said, a look of worry on her face. Everyone almost wore the same expression, but some included confusion, or, if you include Peach, anger.
"So..." Daisy said, that strange look in her eyes. "What do you do...when a girl corners you like this...and starts touching you...against your will...?"
She's also blushing. Dark Pit's jaw dropped, but nothing came out. He doesn't know what to say. What can he do? Fight back? Push her away? Call for help? Tell her off?
"Hey, Daisy, that's enough," someone said, probably Rosalina.
He tried pushing her off by her shoulders—but she held on tight, grabbing his wrists and shoving them up against the wall, pinning him there. She could hear someone's voice, probably Peach's, trying to tell her to stop, she needs to cut the act.
Meanwhile, Dark Pit is flaming with humiliation. To be overpowered...by her! He'd rather see Dark Samus without her helmet again than go through this!
"S-Stop," was all he managed to say. "Get off me."
...
She froze. Her eyes widened upon seeing his fearful expression.
...
And the next thing he knew, he was free. Daisy listened to him and shoved herself off his body, then going into a fit of laughter.
"Hahahaha! You actually thought I'd try anything?" She pat his shoulders reassuringly. "And here I thought you couldn't get any dumber!"
SMACK!
She slapped him. With her hand. On his ass.
He yelped and flushed.
"That's for not doing anything. You can't just let someone have their way, you idiot. At least fight back with effort, kay?"
She sounds way too content...
And off he went, hurrying back to his seat as fast as possible. Everyone else was just in...is there even a word to describe how they feel? Guilty? Shocked? Somewhere between the two. It got them wondering just what the hell was going on in that girl's mind, going as far as to almost violate an angel—in front of Palutena. If none of them were in here, would she have actually...?
No...no, she's not that horrible.
"Anyway," she said after a pause. "That concludes today's lecture. Thankee for attending! You may all leave now!"
Needless to say, no one went back in that room for some time after that night. Dark Pit and Red specifically avoided it more than the others. Not to mention that the many different performances that were given sparked an uneasy awkwardness. Now it was as if no one was talking anymore.
A week later, the girl's arranged their weekly gathering. They'd all join in one room, have some refreshments, and discuss techniques, combos, and the like. Overall, a girls-only lecture room.
...
"And then he said, 'oh boy, it's smooching time!'" said Zelda.
"Shoulda thrown him out the window," Female Corrin said, then chugging down her soda. She bent down and put a cracker on Female Pikachu and Jigglypuff's plates. "Oh yeah," she went on as she sat back up, wiping her mouth, "reminds me. Daisy, last week, when you held that dumb lecture?"
"Hm?"
"Did you actually try to rape him, or?"
"Mmph—!" Peach shrieked mid-drink, coughing out her beverage and catching her breath. She gave Corrin a bewildered look. "My goodness, don't say that!"
"Nah," Daisy replied, ignoring Peach and placing down her cup and saucer. "Just had a little fun."
"Shoulda done it, he probably woulda liked it."
Peach smacked Corrin.
"God, you're the worst," Robin sighed as she stirred another sugar cube into her tea.
"Least' I don't have the speed of a damn koala," Corrin sneered.
The table rattled, drinks spilled—some got on female Villager's dress.
"You watch your mouth!" Robin yelled, pointing at Corrin's face. Lucina desperately tried to calm her mother down. It wasn't the most embarrassing thing, but still...
Palutena watched this all happen before her. She was recalling the memories of last week. She side-eyed Daisy.
Eventually, Zelda and Wii Fit Trainer got Robin and Corrin to settle down, finally being able to enjoy their beverages. After new ones were poured, that is.
After a quiet moment, Daisy said, "I considered it for a second."
Lucina and Zelda both stood back up from their seats, and Lucina actually yelped. "W-What?! You thought of fucking raping him?! You lunatic!"
Zelda nodded. "You're crazy."
"Calm down, Lucy," said Leaf. "He's not the submissive type anyway."
"What a joke," Samus said, rolling her eyes. "He froze up like a deer."
"See? It wouldn't be that hard to pull something on him," Corrin added.
Robin growled. "Not another word."
Peach covered her ears. "Are we really discussing this?! You're all sick!"
Palutena kept silent.
Bayonetta chuckled.
Of course, Daisy would never purposefully harm Dark Pit. Never purposefully, that is. She wouldn't mind giving him a few 'accidental' elbow bumps every now and then.
She just hopes this'll work. Last week's lecture was supposed to be for him, after all. The whole thing on how to treat a lady. Hopefully he got the message. It wasn't a waste after all...
Besides...at least she got to fulfill her fantasy, right?