by Sandra Schwarzer
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Disclaimer: The Sentinel is a creation by Danny Bilson and Paul DeMeo and belongs to Paramount Pictures, Pet Fly Productions & UPN. No money is being exchanged.
The song 'All by myself' belongs to Eric Carmen Music, The Celine Dion version belongs to Sony Music Entertainment.
The song 'If that's what it takes' belongs to Les Editions JRG/ CRB Music, The Celine Dion version belongs to Sony Music Entertainment.
No copyright infringement intended.
This story is beta read by Christina and Andromede.
*Thank you for the great help*
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Two months now Blair Sandburg was a happy man, because he had fallen in love with a woman he considered as the love of his life.
Sabrina Brooks was about the same height as Blair, with black hair and blue eyes. She was 25 years old and worked as a waitress in a restaurant not very far away from the station.
The anthropologist met her right there last monday after having a fight with Jim about messing up his house rules.
It had been love at first sight. She tried to cheer him up and it had worked. They'd gone to the movies the next day and since then, they were a couple.
At first, Jim thought, that Sabrina was just one of the usual short lasting relationships of his partner. But after a while, he recognized that Blair had really fallen for her. Blair spent every free minute of his day with her, he worked at the University and helped Jim at the station, but the time both friends used to spend together after work was now lost to Sabrina.
After work Blair went home with the Sentinel after work only to change his clothes and was out of the loft again, never returning before late at night. Jim was kinda jealous, because that woman kept his Guide away from him.
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One evening at the loft:
Jim climbed up the stairs towards his apartment. He was tired, the day at the precinct had been boring, nothing else to do than stupid paperwork and that always seemed to tire him out more than if there was *real* police work to do. Blair had taken the day off, because he needed to arrange something but hadn't told Jim what it was about. The Sentinel didn't expect to find his roommate preparing dinner in the kitchen when he finally opened the door.
"Hi, Chief"
"Oh, hi, Jim"
"What are you doing at home, Chief? I thought you wanted to arrange something?"
Blair turned around to face his friend now, "Yeah, and what do you think that is?", he asked expectantly.
Only now Jim registered that the table had been prepared with flowers, candles, champagne glasses and all the other stuff one usually uses for a romantical dinner. Also the loft was spotless, no news to him anymore. Since Sabrina was a regular guest, Blair used to keep the place as clean as possible.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know that you planned something with Sabrina tonight", he paused a moment then sighed, "maybe I can go over to Simon to play some poker......."
"Jiiiiim....", Blair interrupted him, "why don't you take a good look at the table. There are three sets of plates."
"Oh, what does that mean, Chief? Do you want me to watch you and Sabrina changing your newest love chat?", he teased.
Blair swatted him with the dish towel he held in his hands, "That is not exactly what I planned, but well if you want to......."
"Sandburg", Jim growled.
Blair raised his hands, "Okay, okay, I promise it is nothing like that. It's a very special evening for me and I want you to be here tonight......."
Jim raised his eyebrows, but said nothing.
"Why don't you take a shower, Big Guy. Sabrina will be here in 45 minutes."
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Jim had finished his shower and was just getting dressed, when someone knocked at the door. He heard his Guide open the door and the sound of kissing lips.
"Hi, gorgeous", Sabrina greeted the young man.
"Hi, yourself. Come in", he stepped to the side to let her enter the loft.
She was stunned when she saw the dark room lit only by candles and the set table.
Blair helped her out of her coat and lead her to the table.
"Oh, Blair. That is so nice of you", she said in a sweet voice, recognizing the third plate on the table she frowned. She only met Ellison five times but liked him less with every meeting she. She hid her discomfort and smiled up on her lover when she mouthed 'I love you' .
"Love you too", Blair answered loud, then he walked to the bottom of the stairs leading up to Jim's bedroom.
"Are you ready, Jim?"
"Yeah, I'll be there in a minute"
When Jim descended the stairs he got his first good look at Sabrina. That woman was beautiful, she was wearing a blue cocktail dress, a perfect match to her eyes. He walked towards the table and sat down opposite from her.
"It's nice to meet you again, Miss Brooks", he extended his hand, but she refused to take it.
"Nice to see you too, detective", her words cold as ice.
At that moment Blair returned to the table and filled their plates with the food he had prepared.
During the meal they exchanged barely 15 words, Blair tried to lighten up the mood and started talking the expeditions he was on. After they had finished eating, the young man became very serious. He retrieved a bottle of champagne from the fridge and filled the glasses. Jim and Sabrina looked at him expectantly.
"Well, I know that this does not happen under the best possible circumstances, but I need to ask you something, Sabrina. And since Jim is my best friend he deserves to hear it too", he paused a moment, then fumbled inside the pocket of his trousers until he held a small black box in his hand, turning his attention now on Sabrina as he continued, "Sabrina, I would like to ask you if you will become my fiancé?"
He opened the box and handed her the small golden ring.
Jim was absolutely stunned he hadn't expected to hear those words ever from his roommate.
Instead of taking the ring, Sabrina looked up to her lover, "I'm sorry, Blair. I can't. I think it is too early."
Blair was shocked by her statement, he had planned this since one week. It took him a while to be able to form any audible words again.
The Sentinel saw the emotions wash over his Guide's face. The pain he saw in his eyes was the worst, it nearly broke his heart.
"Why?", Blair asked in a raspy voice.
Sabrina looked down on the floor now, "As I said, Blair. I think you're going a little bit too fast here. I really love you, but I only know you for two months. It's too soon."
Blair showed no reaction, he just stared at her.
"Listen, Honey.", Sabrina continued, "Why don't we talk about that tomorrow. I think I need to go now", she stood up without looking at him, grabbed her coat and vanished out of the door.
Jim couldn't believe what just happened, that woman had captured his Guide's heart and now she had broken it. The anthropologist stood still in the same spot holding the box in his hands.
Seconds later the silence was broken by the noise of the black box hitting the floor after it had dropped from Blair's trembling fingers.
The thundering of Blair's racing heart was the last thing Jim heard before his Guide walked to his small room and closed the door.
*Great. A great ending to a perfect day*, the Sentinel thought.
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Jim started cleaning up the living room, he didn't even try to talk to his friend now. He knew very well that Blair needed some time on his own now.
The sound of Celine Dion's version of 'All by myself' sounded from the small room:
When I was young
I never needed any one
And making love was just for fun
Those days are gone
Livin' alone I think of all the friends I've known.......
Jim listened to the words while he washed the dishes. At first he listened without really getting the meaning of the lyrics.
....All by myself
Don't wanna be
All by myself
Anymore
Hard to be sure
Sometimes I feel so insecure........
Now Jim heard the small sobs from his friend's room and it dawned on him, that this song matched exactly Blair's feelings. He hurried over to the french doors and knocked.
No answer. The only thing that happened was that the sobs stopped.
The Sentinel slowly opened the door. Blair was lying on his bed facing the wall. The traces of his tears visible on his face.
"Chief?"
Still no reaction.
......All by myself
Don't wanna be
All by myself
Anymore
All by myself
Don't wanna live
Oh
Don't wanna live
By myself..........
The song slowly faded out and Jim turned off the CD player.
"You won't, I promise", Jim said.
Blair turned around now and faced him with red rimmed eyes, "I won't what?", he asked, his voice hoarse from the crying.
"You don't need to be all by yourself, Blair. I'm here and I'll do whatever I can to help you", he walked over to the bed and sat down besides his partner.
"I....I...I...love....her"
"I know, partner", Jim placed the box containing the ring on the nightstand.
"Do you think she's right, Jim? Did I ask her too soon?"
Jim shrugged his shoulders, "All I know is that you really love her, but I don't know if she loves you as much as.........."
"No, Jim I think she was right. This was going way too fast and I should've known it", he punched his pillow with his fist, "Everything I do is wrong!"
Before he was able to punch his pillow again his hand was stopped by Jim. The Sentinel had grabbed his arm, "Listen, Blair. You did nothing wrong. You really love her and if she loves you, she'll come back."
"Oh, Jim. Why am I such a moron? I messed up your life and now I messed up the only true relationship with a woman I ever had."
"Hey, hey. Stop talking bull. You did not mess up my live. You saved me from going crazy. You may mess around with some of my house rules, but I can live with that. I want you to know that you're the best friend I ever had. You're my Guide and my partner and I never would liked to have missed a single thing that happened 'til now in our friendship. Do you understand, Sandburg?"
Too impressed by what he had heard, Blair just nodded.
"Are we okay now?"
"Yes, more than that. Thank you, Jim"
Jim patted him reassuringly on the back, then he stood up and left the room. In the door hinge he stopped and turned around, "Good Night, Chief"
"Night, Jim."
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The next morning Blair didn't felt too well and decided to stay home. Jim went to the station concerned that yesterday had caused more to his friend than he really knew.
Jim wanted to talk with Sabrina about what happened last night but when he went over to the restaurant, he saw her standing outside kissing a stranger. When they parted she went back inside and the man walked down the street towards him.
"Sir, excuse me. Can I ask you something?", he addressed the man.
"Sure."
"Who was that woman?"
"I don't think that is any of your concerns, but she is my wife Mrs. Sabrina Clark."
Jim stared at the man in disbelief, "Your wife?"
"Yes, my wife. Is there a problem with that?"
"No, Sir", then the man left.
The Sentinel hurried over to the restaurant, once inside he asked Sabrina if she had a few minutes to talk with him. Since there were no guests inside the room she agreed and they sat down at one of the tables.
"What do you want, Ellison?", she asked in the same cold voice she had used the previous evening.
"I want to know what you think you're doing, Mrs. Clark?", his blue eyes burned with anger.
Sabrina went pale, "How do you know?"
"I just met your husband. You shouldn't kiss in public places."
Now she dropped her head in her hands, "I'm sorry, detective. When I first met your friend he was so upset. I tried to cheer him up and I couldn't help myself when he asked me for a date."
"You wanna tell me you really love him?"
"Yes.....but I also love my husband....", her voice trailed off.
"You broke his heart last night. The kid never felt in love with a woman like he did with you and you just used him as a toy."
"No, that's not true....."
"I don't care. I want you to tell him the truth and you will do that today. You caused enough pain already. Is that clear? Otherwise I'll need to tell your husband about your little secret?"
"No, please don't. I'll tell him."
"You better will, Mrs. Clark. I don't wanna see you near him again after that", Jim growled, stood up and left the restaurant.
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Blair sat on the couch, when Jim returned home that evening. A bottle of whiskey stood on the table in front of him. To Jim's relief it was still closed.
"Hi, Chief. You okay?"
"No."
"She was here?"
Blair nodded, "She told me the truth"
"Aha, and how do you feel now?"
"It hurts like hell, I thought it would help if I would drown my sorrows with the whiskey, but.............", his voice broke.
Jim went to the fridge, "But what?"
"It won't help."
"Good decision. You want something to drink?"
"Sure."
Jim grabbed a beer for himself and a coke for Blair, then sat down on the couch beside his friend. After a few minutes of silence he said, "You know, Chief. Someday you'll find someone who loves you the way you loved her."
"You really think that?"
"Yeah, I'm sure", Jim smiled knowingly and placed his arm around his Guide's shoulders.
Another Celine Dion Song played in the background:
You're the bravest of hearts, you're the
strongest of souls
You're my light in the dark, you're the
place I call home
You can say it's all right, but I know
that you're breaking up inside
I see it in your eyes
Even you face the night afraid
And alone
That's why I'll be there
When the storm rises up, when the
shadows descend
Ev'ry beat of my heart, ev'ry day
without end
Ev'ry second I live, that's the promise
I make
Baby, that's what I'll give, if that's
what it takes
You can sleep in my arms, you don't
have to explain
When your heart's crying out, baby,
whisper my name
'Cause I've reached out for you when
the thunder is crashing up above
You've given me your love
When you smile like the sun that shines
through the pain
That's why I'll be there
When the storm rises up, when the
shadows descend
Ev'ry beat of my heart, ev'ry day
without end
I'll stand like a rock, I will bend
'til I break
Till there's no more to give, if that's
what it takes
I will risk everything, I will fight,
I will bleed
I will lay down my life, that's the promise
I make
Baby, that's what I'll give, if that's
what it takes
Through the wind and the rain, through
the smoke and the fire
When the fear rises up, when the
wave's even higher
I will lay down my heart, my body,
my soul
I will hold on all night and never
Let go
Ev'ry second I live, that's the promise
I make
Baby, that's what I'll give, if that's
what it takes
If that's what it takes
Every day
If that's what it takes
Every day
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The End?