Army Wife
Chapter 1
"Joseph Whitley." Another name was called, another rose was thrown into the pond, and another moment of silence was given. "Jasper Whitlock." I couldn't help the sob that escaped my chest, as a fresh batch of tears flowed down my cheeks. I threw my rose into the pond and the moment of silence was given. It was the 1 year anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, and there were memorials being held for the victims who were killed on the planes, in the buildings, and in the war.
Jasper my Jasper was shipped off to Afghanastan with the first troops over. He promised me he would come home to me and our newborn daughter Abigail. That was the one and only promise he had ever broken in his life. I stared at the pond with the roses holding Abigail on my hip and tried to hold in the tears that threatened to spill over again. It was times like these that I wish I could curl up in a ball and die.
I sat up in my bed screaming. The dream was back, the dream that I hated but kept seeing every night. I heard a cry, damn it, I woke Abigail up again. I kept dreaming that Jasper was dead, when in reality he was just gone. Each day I sat home and wondered 'Will he keep his promise, will I ever see my husband again, will Abigail grow up without a father, will her father walk her down the aisle at her wedding, will she ever go to a daddy daughter dance, who will be the man sitting at the kitchen table with a shot gun the day she brings home her first boyfriend?' I hated these thoughts but it was part of my life as an army wife.
I crawled out of bed and stumbled over to the light and switched it on. I made my way to the nursery room. When I got there Abigail was laying in her crib still crying. I picked her up and cradled her in my arms. "Shhh. Baby its okay, everything's going to be okay. Mommy's here and daddy will be here in just three weeks." I murmured. Did I know that for sure? Did I know that everything was going to be okay? Did I know that daddy was going to be home and be able to hold her in just three weeks? The answer…no. I fought hard not to let out another sob.
Finally Abigail was calmed; I put her back in her crib and walked back to my room. I looked at the clock 2:53 a.m. I sighed I knew I wasn't going to fall back asleep. I pulled open my nightstand drawer and grabbed all of the letters I had gotten from Jazz, a pad of paper, and a pen. I opened the first envelope carefully and pulled out the letter.
Dear Alice,
November 1, 2001
I miss you so much. More than you could ever imagine. I try not to think of how long it will be before we see each other again. If you want to make the time shorter just think of it this way, a year is only one revolution around the sun. Plus I'll have leave sometime so it's not really even a year. I'll be home before you know darlin. Say hi to the family for me, I don't have enough time to write everyone. How's the new base? I know I didn't get to stay long once we got stationed in New York. I'm sorry you're in such a new place that's so loud and busy compared to Alabama alone. I wish I could be there, but you're probably having fun exploring all of the stores there, and if I know you then you've already bought yourself a new studio and are getting ready to open a design studio and create your own fashion line. Be sure to send me pictures of the new studio…if there is one. So how is everyone doing, I mean like you and the family? Ya know if you get lonely you should get a dog. They're good protection in a crazy city like New York. But knowing you love, you'll go get one of those small lap dogs that you can dress up and put in your purse, like I said before send me pictures. I have our wedding picture, a picture of you sitting on the hood of the old pickup truck, and a picture of us at the lake with me pushing you on the tire swing from when we were 17 with me at all times. When I pull them out at night all of the guys tell me how lucky I am to be married to such a beautiful woman like you. But I know it's much more than that. I know that you're beautiful inside and out, and are the sweetest, funniest, most caring person I have ever met in my life. I don't have much more time left to write. I'm sorry sweetheart but I have to go. Be good for me darlin. And be safe. I'll see you in one earth revolution.
Love always,
Jasper
I put the letter back in its envelope and let a few tears out. That was right before I found out that I was pregnant with Abby. That was the second most horrifying moment in my life. The first being forced to watch Jasper leave and go to war. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know if he would ever see her, if he would be here when she was born, or if I should even tell him and just get an abortion. It didn't take me long to decide that I was going to keep it. If anything did happen to Jazz then this baby would be the last part of him that I would have.
I had secretly wished that she was a boy. I wanted to have a boy with blond hair and brown eyes; I wanted a boy so I could name him Jasper Louis Whitlock Jr. I remember writing a reply letter to Jasper; I didn't know how to tell him so I didn't. I kept copies of all the letters I wrote so I could keep every memory possible. I grabbed my reply letter and opened the letter carefully.
Dear Jasper,
November 27, 2001
I miss you as well. I think about you all the time, and no matter how much I try not to I can't help but think that even one earth revolution around the sun is a long time. It's much too long actually. We can't wait until you are home safe and sound. Your sister misses you a lot; she calls me every day to see how I'm doing. I usually lie and tell her that I've never been better, when the truth is I hardly know how to live anymore. You were right; New York is very loud and different from Alabama. But you were also right that there are TONS of stores, I've made it through half. I was thinking about opening a studio but I'm not sure if I want too. We're going to have to buy a lot of stuff soon. You know stuff like new clothes and furniture. We're also expecting a package. It should be here in a few months, it's pretty big actually. I don't think I'm going to get that dog now, although I did see a really cute puppy in the window of a pet shop yesterday. It's starting to grow on me, so when you get home there may or may not be a puppy. Don't worry if you're not here when the big package arrives, I'll forgive you. Rose will help me with it if you're not back. Inside this envelope are some pictures. The first is of me, the second is of the puppy I found, and the third…well the third is of our package. I just thought that you might like to know what were expecting that is so big. Don't get distracted or concentrate on the pictures and get yourself hurt or killed! Otherwise I'll have to kill you myself. Well technically if you get yourself killed your already dead, BUT I WILL BRING BACK TO LIFE AND THEN KILL YOU! I'm just kidding I would never kill you; we love you too much to kill you. I would love to write more but I'm pretty sure you don't have enough time to read more, and between my brother and his wife and your sister and her husband I never get any alone time anymore. HA! As if right on cue your sister is at the door and Emmett is threatening to bust it down if I don't open it within the next 30 seconds. I love you! Don't forget that! Be Safe.
Love always,
XOXOX Alice
I laughed at how stupid I sounded in that letter. Telling him that I was pregnant but never coming out and actually saying it. You couldn't see much in the third picture but you could see enough to figure it out. I remember Emmett really did bust down the door that day. Then Rose tried to kill him for busting down my door and made him go get a new one. The next few days after that I paced back and forth waiting for his letter, when it didn't come for almost a month I started to get worried. I knew I would've been told if something had happened but I was still worried. I tried to think happy thoughts like the letter just got lost in the mail but that didn't calm my nerves. The letter finally came on Christmas Eve.
Dear Alice,
December 19, 2001
Wow. I've been trying to write this letter forever but I keep coming up speechless. I still am speechless. Does this mean what I think it means? Does it mean that you're getting a big dog and not a lap dog?! Haha, I'm just joking darlin. I mean you really weren't kidding when you said we were getting a big package. I showed the guys the night I got the letter. They called it a big package with a special delivery. I carry the pictures you sent me everywhere with me, even the dog. Everyone keeps asking me about you and the baby. They asked me if I wanted a boy or a girl and what I would name it. I told them either one would be fine with me, but they kept pestering me about it. I finally broke down and made a decision. While I don't care which we have, I'll love it just the same, I want a little girl. I want to see you dress her up in cute little outfits with her hair in pigtails. NO SHORT; SHORTS, SKIRTS, OR DRESSES ALICE! I know one thing is for sure, she will be the most spoiled little girl in the world. Don't tell her this but she is going to have me wrapped around her tiny little finger. As for the name well I'm not sure. If it's a girl either Abigail or Blaire, but if it's a boy either Evan or Ryan. But what about you, what do you want a boy or a girl? I'm pretty sure it's going to be a girl, I don't know why but the little bit of sleep I do get I dream about you, me, and a little girl. She always looks the same, she has my blonde hair and it's in a braid, she has your blue eyes they're almost like emeralds. You defiantly dressed her in one dream, she had designer baby clothes, and I didn't know they had these but designer diapers? I think Emmett dressed her once…yikes. She was wearing a green shirt with yellow polka dots, red and pink striped pants, purple socks, and blue shoes. Now darlin I know your screaming about that but please don't have a heart attack and don't kill Emmett…until I'm there to watch. I have to go now sweetheart, but I'll write again soon. I miss you. I love you both with all of my heart. Be safe and be good. And yes that means you too little one, don't bug mommy with midnight cravings when no one is there to get them for her okay? I love you princess….or prince. Haha! I love and miss you both.
Love always,
Jasper
I laughed at the letter. I haven't killed Emmett yet, but I'm still waiting until my Jazzy comes home. It was amazing reading his dreams. Everyone is always telling me how I have this sixth sense that can predict the future, but I don't know I think its Jasper with the sixth sense. He was dead on; we had a little girl with honey blonde hair and green eyes. I just hope that she's tall like her father and not as short as me.
I couldn't read anymore letters. I was getting too sad, remembering these things. I remember wishing that Jasper was going to have his leave when our baby was born, and wishing that maybe by some amazing miracle the war would end. Unfortunately neither of those wishes came true. Jasper couldn't be here for her birth, and the war was nowhere near ending.
Jazz had his leave around the time Abby was supposed to be born. It was so nice to see him again and not stay up half the night worrying about him. I scared him to death about 100 times while he was here. I swear one time it looked like he was having either a heart attack or a stroke. Then one time he actually did pass out, and his sister had to come live with us in case I went into labor and Jasper was passed out I would have someone to drive me.
Rose and Emmett ended up living with me for about a month. But when Emmett almost dropped Abby, Bella and Edward had to move in as well. I knew they were just trying to help and in all honesty I still need help, but they were getting so annoying I kicked them all out. They were always arguing with each other and Rose and Emmett were always in some sort of fight about something he said.
I glanced over at the clock again. It read 3:28 a.m. I hadn't noticed that I had been sitting here for this long. I decided I might as well get it over with and write the last letter to Jasper. Since he would be home in just three weeks he probably wouldn't write back.
Dear Jasper,
August 23, 2002
Oh Jasper, I can't believe we've made it! There's just three more weeks and you'll be home. And you can see your daughter. I'm so sorry I didn't get to tell you much about her in the last letter I wrote. Our dear siblings were biting each other's heads off again. I finally got fed up with them and kicked them all out. Finally there's some peace and quiet around here…well for the most part. I'll tell you all about her now. Her name is Abigail Blaire Whitlock; she was born July 27th, 2002, at 12:01 a.m. weighing 6lbs. 5oz. and measuring 17 inches long she has your curly honey blonde hair, with my blue eyes. She really is an angel Jazz; I think she's more like you than me. She's a relatively quiet baby only crying when I wake her up. She's so relaxed and mellow; it's almost scary how calm she is compared to me. Also I dressed her up in this adorable little outfit I found in the mall the other day, it was designer brand and I just had to get it for her Jazz. So I buy it and get home and I'm so excited to put it on her, and I get it just perfect and I hold her up in the mirror and she starts crying. So I sat her down and she spits up all over it, and then starts giggling about it afterwards! I wanted to cry; my own daughter hates designer brand clothes and tries to act like she's allergic to them. I know you're probably laughing at this, but don't worry Rose and Bella were here and they have it all on video. You're gonna love her Jazz, I just know it. You were right she's gonna have every single one of us wrapped around her tiny little finger. Although, I probably shouldn't tell you this yet, but I've been considering getting her a restraining order against her Uncle Emmett. Ya see when we were supposed to take her to the hospital for her first check up; Uncle Emmett was supposed to be putting her in her carrier. Well I was supposed to be taking it easy and not straining myself, but you better believe I'm gonna strain myself when I see my kid falling out of her uncle's arms. I dove from the porch all the way to the side of the car to catch her. I caught her! Don't worry Uncle Emmett hasn't been allowed to hold her since then. Oh and Uncle Emmett got a slap on the head from Rose afterwards when he said "DAMN ALICE YOU SHOULD TRY OUT FOR THE FOOTBALL TEAM!" So after that my sister and brother-in-law moved in. To describe it all in one word, Torture. Of course Edward is allowed over whenever he wants seeing as his piano playing puts Abby to sleep. Well I should go it's almost time for Abby to wake up. I'll see you in three weeks! Until then be safe! I love you, and so does Abigail.
Love always,
Alice & Abigail
I sealed the letter and put a stamp on it. I would mail it in the morning. It was around 4:15 when I finished writing the letter. I put everything back in my night-stand and tried to sleep for a couple more hours.