Chapter 1
The trees speak to me on occasion. They often speak of great tall tales that would make any of my many mistresses very being implode upon itself. When the trees arn't feeling quite chatty I'll turn to the birds for small talk. I appreaciate their elegance and they appreaciate my brunch. If i'm feeling really desprate i'll turn to the squirrels for coversation but they like to uphold the reputation of scrict buissness so I rarely ever bother-im not that rude to intrude on their, i'm sure, quite hearty scheduals. I suppose it's really just because they remind me of my mother-a hopless social climber.
She doesn't like me much so I don't make myself much of a regard around her. I did hear the maids comparing her to me the other say saying things like: " They appear so similar yet i could only ever be able to mistake them for the other if they were both asleep." They didn't seem to notice me listening in though i was in the heart of their flurry of work. This does happen alot so I never give it any thought. Last night i was dragged to the most ubsurd dinner party of one of my mother's many 'good darlings'. My mother claimed my presence was necissary to the very existance of her practicly nonexistant reputation as a good family centered woman. The devil woman shoved me in the tightest of dresses in her availibility and had me carried to a surrounding of great, big, fat old men and nimble wimen who dressed like they were off to see a great empress not gather for a sit down for tea and biscuts.
I started drifting off the minute one of the many rouge cheeked wimen brought up my 'nonexistant exuse for an exeptable future' and started tuning into the world of my own. I saw things that were and weren't. I saw things that couldn't but did. i even saw nonexistance in existance. "What a place" my father world say if I could tell him now. His wrinkles would accent into the folds of his face with his thin, smiling mouth sending a puff from his pipe in my direction. I'd simply reply: "It really is." radiating knowledge and ingnorance to youth. What a moment we'd have. Maybe he'd notice my newly aquired hieght and lengthened hair. Oh! Or maybe he'd notice how smart i've gotten since i was a girl-or how much more grown up I am now.
These thoughts were cut short by a cold glove on mine and a sharp voice telling me to respond to the young man infront of me. He wore a wrinkleless uniform and a tall plain stature. It seemed he'd been waiting for my reply for quite some time so i finally made a short effort to drag him out of the awkward silence with a slight: "I'm sorry, what was that?" He remained in his composure and replied, "How are you doing miss Alice?" There was a bug under his poor ghastly hand he'd just laid on the tableside across from me. Fuyukides. "I'm doing well sir..?"
"Anthony. Anthony Smalls." Who named him?
"Pleased to meet you."I managed-boasting with pride I'd actually learned something from one of the many lectures on endless 'necissary' manners with mistress #6.
"Nice weather we're expiriencing currently-yes?"
"Indeed."
"It was nice to meet you."
"You as well.'
"I wish to talk again soon." This was the part where i gently curtsied goodbye and awkwardly stumbled back to my former place-age amoungst the unfortunate herd of wimen. It was too painfuly obious my mother's entire pack had heard the painful exchange. They weren't for a second going to give me the blessing of ignoring it either. To be expected.
"Oh my he's so handsome!" unfortunate lady #1 gushed with unexusable emotion. "Alice you were so rude!" unfortunate lady #2 exlaimed.
"I can't belieive he even aproached you in your physical indecency." My mother shamelessly added from the back of her throat. "I thought I told mildred to make decency of your hair..." unfortunate lady #3 inputed:
"I do say-he is looking for a partner now isnt he!"
"He would never go for alice though right..."
"He does have a boatload of money and she is quite attractice when fixed up."
"She'll never be suitable for a bride"
At this point I was far away. I saw in black and white. The color i was so acostomed to seeing in the dreariest of moments was fading away. I wan't much for god but at this time a prayed to whatever would be listening. My dreams were so far away. why couldn't I escape? Was I doomed to this nonsense forever? Has my life of looking forward been to no avail? Will I never be able to truly run away from this life of nonliving? We're all too small to talk to god. Do we have to walk alone though the enteirty of the lives we know so little about? I was losing sight of where I was walking. My knees were buckling. I saw roses. a garden? a garden. roses. roses... roses. a white. white. Rabbit.