Disclaimer: How many times do I have to say this. I make no money off my fanfics, I don't own, never will, the Dragon Ball series and Characters. Happy? The same applies for Mountian Dew.
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Okay, maybe not humor, more like bits and pieces of sillyness put together. (I shoulda named it Trouble with the Lingo.)
I got this idea while writing Beyond Hope, and well, it seemed funny, so I decided to write it. I actually had the idea for Trunks' situation planned for a fic, but couldn't seemed to make it stand alone, so I squeezed it in here. As for the hair color, I got the idea after reading various articles on rip off toys. Precede with caution.
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"I swear, you can be such an idiot Kakarot." Vegeta cursed in his native language.
"Huh?" Goku replied, "I heard you say Kakarot, what was the rest of that?"
"It's too bad you don't know the language." Vegeta sneered.
"Aw, c'mon! I'm a Sayian too." Goku complained.
Trunks walked in. Having heard half the conversation he said, "Hey, dad, you never taught me how to speak Sayian either."
Goten happenened to follow him in, and hearing his comment added, "Hey, ya know, mom's been bugging me to pick up another language." he grinned.
Suddenly Gohan walked in on the group with Piccolo. "Hey what are you talking about?" he asked.
"Vegeta's going to teach us all how to speak Sayian." Goku smiled that smile that only he could manage.
"I am not!" Vegeta retorted.
"Are to." Goku replied.
"Am not." Vegeta responded.
"Are to."
"Am not."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
"ENOUGH!" Piccolo yelled covering his ears. "If you guys really want to learn another language, I'd be more than happy to teach you Namek." he told the Sayians.
Gohan looked at him strangly, "Why would we want to learn gibberish?" he asked.
"No good, Bulma already knows that language, I can't swear at her in it." Vegeta replied.
"I didn't know mom talked Namek." Trunks said.
"It's Namekian." Piccolo corrected.
Again Gohan gave Piccolo a funny look, "When did you become the scholar?"
Piccolo sweat dropped.
"Yeah, well, thank me later for saving your sorry butt from being chewed out by your mother." Vegeta said arogantly.
"Hey, you said you were going to teach us Sayian." Goku protested.
"Wouldn't that be Sayianese?" Trunks asked thoughtfully.
"You mean like Mayianese?" Goten asked.
"Don't you mean Mayonnaise?" Gohan countered.
"Hello! We were talking about speaking Sayian not Mayonnaise!" Goku cried exasperated at his two sons.
"I refuse to teach you idiots how to speak my native language." Vegeta replied crossing his arms over his chest.
"You mean Sayianese." Trunks corrected.
"Ourty hyu mkio Kakarot." Goku said.
"What was that supposed to be?" Vegeta asked snapping his eyes open in shock.
"Uh...well..." Goku stuttered, "I said what I thought I heard you say."
Vegeta snorted. "Not even close."
"Well, did I say anything?" Goku asked persitantly.
"You said I am the evil Kakarot." Vegeta mumbled.
"What?" Goku asked.
"Alright, I'll teach you Sayian!" Vegeta nearly screamed.
"This out to be interesting." Goten snickered.
The Sayians set up a sort of classroom in one of the empty rooms of Capsule Corp. All the Sayians filed in and sat down. Piccolo was just about to step through the door, when Vegeta slammed the door in his face.
"Vegeta!" Piccolo cried pounding on the door. "Let me in!"
"No." Vegeta responded throught the now locked door. "I refuse to teach little green men from outerspace Sayian."
From outside the door Piccolo heard Trunks' sing-song voice, "It's Sayianese!"
Piccolo heard a Vegeta's muffled voice, "And if you try to get through that door, you'll be seeing stars."
Piccolo figured that he wouldn't go to the trouble of knocking down the door and flew to Hollywood.
Vegeta stepped up to the front of the "classroom." "Listen up." Vegeta said harshly.
That got the other Sayian's attentions.
"I don't allow spit wads, gum chewing, talking..."
-2 hours later-
"humming, thinking, or SLEEPING!" he yelled waking the others up.
-Next Day-
"Goku, repeat the following sentence. In Sayian Vegeta said, "See Tim Can kick." He read out of a small book with a badly drawn picture of a little boy with the head of a can.
"Ujio Oipytg yior hut." Goku said proudly.
Vegeta sweat dropped.
"What?" Goku asked with a shocked look on his face. "What'd I say? What'd I say?"
"You said," Vegeta replied, "Tim kicked the can."
"As in?" Goku asked.
"As in Tim bought the farm." Vegeta answered.
"Huh?" Goku asked.
"Tim bit the dust."
"What?"
"Tim died!"
Vegeta turned to Goten. "Would you repeat this?" he asked as cooly as possible and said, "Yes, I really do like pizza." in Sayian.
"Hjo kytr duye uh jdsw rdewq." Goten repeated.
Vegeta turned red. "You said." he sputtered, "Brown dogs dress in pink tu-tues." At this point Vegeta was half way to exploding into Super Sayian Three, and busting up laughing.
-Hollywood-
"Get outta here you green freak." the chubby, badly drawn guard yelled.
"Must get autographs." Piccolo panted.
This time he tried the more direct approach. He walked up to the gate and simply tore it in two. When the guard tried to stop him he sent a small ki blast in the direction of the guard. Suddenly the guard wasn't there anymore.
-Capsule Corp.-
"I almost feel sorry for your dad." Goten commented chugging down a soda. The short break the Sayians had had from schooling was almost over.
"Hey." Trunks protested. "You drank the last five cans, there's no more soda left."
"Whoops." Goten said, "I didn't drink it all though." he said holding up a two liter bottle filled with some greenish liquid.
"What's that?" Trunks asked skeptically.
"Who knows." Goten shrugged. "Probably Mountian Dew."
Trunks arched one eyebrow. "Well if I try it, you have to too."
"No way." Goten replied. "I just drank five sodas do you expect me to drink more?"
"Yes." "No."
Trunks took out a glass and filled it with the greenish liquid. He grimaced, "Reminds me of Piccolo." he said.
"Can't stomach it?" Goten joked.
"I don't see you trying it." Trunks returned.
"I'm not the one that doesn't want to drink water." Goten replied.
Trunks gave him a defiant look and gulped the drink down. Something about the drink was just wrong. Maybe it was the bubbles, or maybe it was the way it slithered down his throat. Any way his eyes crossed, and Trunks' legs began to wobble. Before he could do anything he found himself lying on the floor.
Goten was doubled up beside him laughing so hard tears began to roll down his checks.
Though Trunks felt woozy he was still interested in what was so funny. "Whyat?" he slurred.
"Oh man, oh man." Goten laughed sitting up breathlessly. He took one look at Trunks and began laughing again, returning to his previous position.
"Huh?" Trunks asked cocking his head.
"And I thought Purple was bad." Goten sputtered.
Trunks wobbled his way to the nearest wall, only smashing into six walls and various objects on the way. He looked into the mirror and did a double take. One eye shot open wider than the other. One of Trunks' hands went up to grab his hair but it missed.
All throughout Capsule Corporation an audible scream was heard, "Not Pink!"
Of course this disturbance sent everyone in the building running toward the sound. What they found shocked them. They found Trunks sitting on the floor pulling at his pastel Pink hair."
"What the hell happened to you?" Vegeta asked staring at his son's odd hair coloring.
"I drank that green stuff in the refridgorator." Trunks explained.
"You idiot!" Bulma screamed. "That was an exspirament!"
"I think I'm gonna be sick." Trunks said and passed out.
"Well, we'd better get him to the hospital." Gohan pointed out picking Trunks up.
-Hollywood-
"Ahhhhh! Run for your lives!" the people screamed. "The weird green man will kill us all!"
"I said." Piccolo repeated almost choking the star. "Can I get your autograph?"
-Hospital-
"I want my mommy." Trunks complained sitting up in bed.
"I sure hope that boy is delirious." Vegeta muttered.
"Trunks." Bulma said, a bit softened by the fact Trunks was calling her mommy, "Why did you drink my exspirament?"
"He told me to." Trunks wobbled a finger at the wall.
"Who?" Bulma asked a bit suprised at her son's reaction.
"Gotwen." Trunks slurred again.
"Woman, what exactly was in that exspirament? He's acting like he's drunk." Vegeta exasperatly asked.
"I was trying to develop a growth harmone." Bulma replied.
"What for?" Vegeta demanded to know.
"It was a present." she answered.
"For whom?" Vegeta asked.
"You." Bulma said flatly.
Vegeta gave a small "Hmph." and went to go sulk in the corner.
"Dad?" Trunks asked innocently, "How many hairspray bottles do you got through in a week?" "Shut up." was all that came in reply.
Goten, who had tagged along with all the others was still laughing at Trunks' hair color. Goku had previously joined him, while Gohan was trying to figure out what had caused Trunks' hair to go Pink.
A nurse walked in. She took one look at Trunks and Goten laughing at him and whispered, "How Kawaii."
"You shoulda seen him when he had purple hair!" Goten laughed as the poor nurse turned red.
"Shaddup Goten." Trunks said giving himself the appearance of being drunk.
"Heh, we speak Japanese too." Gohan explained.
"Yeah, we kinda have to since we're anime characters." Goku offered.
"Don't you think it's kinda odd your voices changed three times?" Goten asked his family members.
"What? Oh, you mean from Japanese, to English, to third season Funimation?" Goku asked.
"Yeah." Goten replied.
"I liked my Japanese voice better." Gohan sighed.
"Well, your kinda lucky, I mean Trunks and I have to wait to see how they screw our voices up." Goten complained.
"Yes, well, er..." the Nurse stuttered. "I guess I'd better get this over with." she sighed and brought out a small needle. Of course Goku went ballistic.
"Ahhhhhhhhhhh!" he cried diving behind Gohan.
The nurse was so shocked she froze.
"Oh, don't mind him, he goes into hysterics every time he sees a needle." Bulma explained.
The nurse got a sweat drop. Then she went over to Trunks. He actually looked pretty peaceful, as if he were about to fall asleep. "This should put him to sleep." she explained as she stuck Trunks.
Of course the crew had no such luck. Once she pulled the needle out Trunks' eyes shot wide open.
"AAAIIIYYYEEEEEEEE!" he screamed.
The nurse needless to say nearly blacked out. She recovered though and ran out of the room screaming. A medical file listed her later on as being in some sort of Asylum or other. But that's another story, I'll get back to the one I was telling.
"Trunks? Are you okay?" Bulma asked.
"Hybda hybda whoo whoo." was the response she got.
"Oh no! Look out everybody! He has a suger-rush!" Goten screamed while laughing.
"Oh no. Trunks is that true?" Bulma asked.
"Hyper! Hyper! Hyper!" Trunks yelled.
"Feel the wrath of the Pink haired Sayian." Vegeta snickered.
Startling everybody Trunks jumped up out of bed still in his regular clothes. Then he started bouncing up and down. Next he decided to do a little dancing.
Gohan by now was doubled over laughing, and Goten felt he was going to bust a gut. At least till Trunks grabbed him and hoisted him over his head.
"Uh...Trunks...be a good boy and set Goten down." Goku said.
It was too late though, Trunks had run over to the window and jumped.
As he soared out the window he yelled, "Up, up, and away!"
"Trunks! Bring Goten back!" Bulma yelled.
Again all she got was some sensless chatter and screams for mercy on behalf of Goten.
"Guess I'd better go after him." Goku sighed and jumped out the window.
As Trunks carried Goten, Goten took the liberty of warning all the people that they were passing, "Warning, warning, very hyper, Pink haired Sayian on the lose. Warning!"
As time passed though he started making threats, "Trunks, if you don't put me down right now, I'll, I'll dye your hair neon green."
At this he was promptly dropped. With that Trunks took off at light speed. Followed by a blur that could only be his father. So Goten followed.
-Later that Day-
"Here he is." Goku sighed dropping a now unconcious Trunks at Capsule Corp. His hair had returned to it's normal, nice Purple. "He should be fine when he wakes up, but he's gonna have a massive headache." Goku reported.
"I'm just glad he's home." Bulma wearily said.
"Serves the brat right." Vegeta commented.
"Hey Vegeta, you never did fully teach us how to speak Sayian." Goku told the tired Sayian.
Vegeta smacked himself in the forehead.
"You mean Sayianese." Trunks said groggily.
-Even Later that Night-
"I'm baaaack." Piccolo yelled waking everyone up.
"Huh what?" everyone asked.
"Yup, and you'll never believe all the stuff these people gave me..."
END
Just a Little note: Kawaii means cute, though I'm sure most of you knew that already.
Trunks' drunk attidude actually happened to a friend of mine. But instead of a shot it was a popcicle. Weird huh? Keep in mind, this is my first attempt at a humourus fic, and I probably coulda done better, but I really wanted this to be up soon. Bare with me, I learn every time I write another fic. I have a whole mess a fic ideas lined up, all I need is some time to write em. And no, I won't take a month to write them, I have two nearly done as I type. So...until next time... And don't forget to comment ^.^ I like comments.